From 2016 to 2020, the media still falls for Pizzagate

I feel like screaming into my pillow. Scrub that, that's exactly what I'm doing.

Hi.

I’ve created an easy timeline for you. All I ask is: when will this madness stop?

David.


March 2016.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign manager — John Podesta — has his emails hacked.

Internet conspiracy theorists swept up in early QAnon fervour interpret these emails in a number of ways, latching on to the use of the phrase “cheese pizza”.

You know what else starts with the letters C P?

Child pornography.

(If you want to get specific, the CP thing was flying around forums two years prior to this, too).

Conclusion by morons: John Podesta and Hillary Clinton are into child pornography.

December 2016.

Conspiracy theorist and internet researcher Edgar Welch marches into Comet Ping Pong with a AR-15, opening fire whilst looking for kids trapped in the basement.

There isn’t a basement.

The whole stupid mess is termed “Pizzagate”.

2017.

I waste a lot of my year, touring Tickled around the world, having a lot of fun, whilst forgetting to actually start thinking about my next idea. Fuck.

2018.

Me and my friends make Dark Tourist. Hoorah!

Little do I know I will never travel this easily on the planet again.

2019.

What is this year even about? I am not sure what I do? Oh Christ, where does this year go?

The first human cases of COVID-19 are identified.

April 1, 2020.

The World Health Organization reports deaths from COVID-19 have more than doubled that of the previous week, and will soon reach 50,000 worldwide.

August 28, 2020.

Oh what the fuck, it’s Pizzagate again.

It’s been over four years since this utterly redundant idea gripped some dimwitted internet forums.

A headline hits the Telegraph newspaper:

Journalist Mike Wright’s entire job “Social Media Correspondent”.

He reports on social media.

The new twist is that pizza emojis now relate specifically to trafficking.

But it’s the same old bullshit.

Misinformation being reported fact.

It see Mike’s DMs are open, so I DM him.

I get straight to the point.

August 31, 2020.

The story still remains on the Telegraph’s website, albeit behind a paywall.

September 1, 2020.

But that doesn’t matter, because the story has reached New Zealand.

New Zealand’s biggest newspaper, The New Zealand Herald, decides to publish it on their website.

Fuck me.

Update: The afternoon of September 1, 2020:

An update from the New Zealand Herald website:

“The Herald today published a story saying a UK activist has revealed a secret language that paedophiles use to share child abuse material online.

The Herald is now investigating the claims made in that story and has removed it from its website while this occurs.”

Let’s hope their investigation leads them to Webworm.