Some Reader Feedback For Your Weekend

Plus a New Zealand popup in July (featuring Tickled).

Hi,

I think we all made it through another week — congratulations. I’ve been digesting the new Arab Strap record, which is astonishing.

In other news, I’m going to be doing a Webworm popup in Auckland, New Zealand on Saturday July 13. I’ll bring a bunch of merch, and some other fun stuff. Come and hang out.

That night, I’ll be playing Tickled on a big screen and doing a Q&A afterwards. As a “thanks” to those who support Webworm financially, I’ll be putting 300 free tickets aside for paid up Webworm members. A little closer to the time I’ll post out details of how to get those tickets.

The documentary turns 10 in 2026, which feels kinda strange. Three subjects in the film are now dead, which is also strange.

We can get into that at the Q&A. It won’t be all morbid, I promise.

Earlier this week I was feeling like a piece of shit and sent out a newsletter asking how you were.

And you told me.

If you get a chance this weekend, I really think the array of stories, experiences and emotions readers shared are worth reading. “Vic” put it like this:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - this little piece of the internet is unique & comforting in a time where all seems lost and no one seems to understand each other. I have read every single comment and sent a virtual hug to every one of you. Life is hard right now! But together we can find comfort and reassurance and keep on keeping on.

Some comments are funny, some are bleak, some are wise. Many are a blend of all three things. Nearly all of them are moving. Some are short, some are long. I’m in awe of your writing. And your honesty.

It’s nice to be chatting with you in the comments; it’s a reminder that we’re all in this thing together.

Here are a few I wanted to share as we head into the weekend.

Scott:

I was once given this advice and I have cherished it: “Bloom where you’re planted.”

We can’t control everything, but we can touch the lives of those we come into contact with and whether we are doing a menial job or “important one,” whether we are talking to friends, family, or strangers, whether we have a big audience or small - it all comes to being our best where we are in that moment.

For me, it’s kind of a blend of living in the moment and loving my neighbor. And, of course, my neighbor is who I come into contact with in any form.

Sander:

“We can’t control everything”

Two months ago I was told I had cancer. I would need an operation, maybe chemo.

That was unexpected.

I tried not to think about it and just carried on. Made a checklist of things to do. Prune the fruit trees, stack firewood, things I can control.

It’s very strange waking up in the recovery room. Nearly four hours had passed, it felt like time travel.

I recovered quickly and got discharged early. I learned that stage 2A bowel cancer is better than stage 2B. No spread!

Last week I was told I don’t have cancer anymore. I hadn’t even got used to having it.

So, in answer to your question, and thanks for asking, I am feeling fucking great. Have had a lot of time to think, three weeks of bed rest. I’m going to go for a walk, I can control that.

S:

I sit here, in my comfortable home staring at my computer screen, reading an email thread from clients who are arguing about the colour and placement of a button on a CRM form.

I sit here and can't bring myself to give a shit about my work, luckily I have a lifetime of masking - so clients and colleagues can't tell just how much I don't give a shit about their menial demands and badly written requirements anymore.

I sit here and think about the dangerous precipice that the world is on right now. People who I used to look up to and respect have shown themselves in the last few months to be absolutely void of human compassion.

I sit here in front of social media and watch people as they deny genocide, as they crater in on themselves and sling abuse at those that are standing up against it.

I sit here and watch innocent protestors being brutalised on live TV, the bobbleheads on the same TV cheering on the brutalisation, gaslighting everyone watching.

I sit here and watch as our own government do everything they can to destroy Maori rights and sovereignty, which ends up with me looping back to the genocide in Gaza, and how the worlds powers do not give a shit.

I sit here and realise that the Western society most of us live in is a farce.

I sit here, then I turn around and see my wonderful fiancé, and my two crazy cockatiels and just for a moment - I find some peace.

Adam:

I’ve been struggling for the past few months with anxiety and near daily panic attacks. I’ve found myself isolating more which is terrible for a person in recovery. It’s made it hard to meet new people in the area and branch out, but it’s almost like I’m agoraphobic as the panic attacks usually happen when I’m out of the house. I’ve found a lot of comfort in comics, Fallout 4, podcast, and watching reruns of Antiques Roadshow oddly enough. And it seems last week I’m seeing a change and can venture out more.

But these panic attacks are crippling and make it where I just want to die. There were a few times I got really scared of how I was breaking down mentally. I won’t go into details on that end as it’s very dark and personal, but I managed to get through. It’s been hard. And I get so scared of doing anything because of the panic attacks that it plays hell on my life. Maybe someone on here has experience with them and a new angle to try. I see a professional and take meds, but trying to find that right combo has just been brutal.

But, I have found that I haven’t resorted to drinking and still feel committed to my sobriety. That has been huge. And I’ve been working for a church that has been a good experience. I had a conversation with one of the pastors here the other day and she accepted the fact I’m agnostic. That was a huge thing for me. And seeing a church actually helping the needy without making it a public affair to get accolades has given me hope in humanity.

I’m trying to see the good side of things after processing the panic and anxiety. Listening to Flightless Bird and Star Talk have just helped me so much.

And Frankie, who responded with this advice:

Fallout kicks so much ass :) New Vegas was my gateway game in adulthood. The open world, story and gameplay are everything.

I’ve dealt with panic attacks and have no words but to let you know you're not alone. I have friends in my home state I keep in contact with through online outlets periodically. If you'd be interested in a gaming friend or joining some of our spaces, you're incredibly welcomed.

Only other offer I can manage is that nothing makes the panic attacks and everything in life worse than alcohol. So insanely proud of you (even though that's not really my right, but huge huge props to you) for staying strong in your convictions. You're an incredible person and I'm sorry for how tough life can be. The world we're in and the tools we have are wildly not ideal. You're doing great, Adam

Chelsea:

Infectious disease doctor here. Being a doctor is one of the hardest jobs, there are such incredible highs but the lows are soul crushing. People die, things go terribly wrong, mistakes are made. Some days it’s just too much for one person to experience.

Those days I wish I’d been a writer or an artist or a musician, and maybe when my student debt is paid off I will.

But for now, I so, so so appreciate that you did not commit yourself to my profession. I love what you do and write and create. It keeps me connected to the world, even if the world is awful too. But despite it all, I keep trying to get pregnant and bring a child into this world even though it’s terrifying what they’ll endure when they’re here.

F:

As the hopeless moments have started to appear more and more frequently, I created a list of the things that bring me joy and comfort, so that I didn't forget where to turn when the despair hits. I'm sure my list looks very different from yours, but maybe someone will find some inspiration in it:

1. Do a fun activity with my grandkids

2. Go rollerskating

3. Watch clips of the Graham Norton show on YouTube

4. Text a joke to a friend

5. Invite my most hilarious friends to meet on a lovely patio

6. Put on a fun costume and make a reel/story/TikTok

7. Add more people to my family tree on Ancestry

8. Decide that I'm going to travel to ______ (Paris, Tokyo, the Maldives, etc) and start looking into details online, whether it's really going to happen or not.

9. Marco Polo with my sisters to see what they are up to

10. Watch a few episodes of Veronica Mars.

Trevor:

Thanks for the positive outlook. I too am just bombarded with everything globally, while trying to deal with just normal everyday stressors. My dog passed away six months ago and I just can’t get over it. There’s this constant hum of depression I have to ride out every day. Here’s to hoping things won’t be this bleak forever.

In response, you shared your advice for Trevor. Kristiina shared a blog they’d written on losing a pet, and Alison had this advice:

Trevor, maybe you can take some comfort in knowing you are not alone in grieving as the responses from other worms illustrate. Dogs have a special way of worming their way into every aspect of our lives. And when that presence is suddenly gone it really sucks.

Muscle memory is strong and I can clearly remember being almost paralyzed with grief and unable to walk without a lead in my hand. I would look down at my wrist and feel like half of me had been cut away.

What has helped me in the past, when I was ready, was just being around other dogs. Going to my local shelter and either fostering a dog or offering to walk them, borrowing my friends and neighbors dogs for walks, I found just the process of keeping that routine of dog walking could bring some sense of sanity back into my life.

Hang in there. It will get better.

Sarah:

I am very late to the comments party, it’s been a nightmare week on multiple fronts but this piece made me want to tell you about my Aunty Lyn.

Her name is my middle name, she is my godmother too and truth be told, a total wahine toa. She has always fascinated me, simultaneously ambitious and staunch but also very aware and protective of family, somehow daunting but needing a hug, and giving hugs freely. She is someone who you just feel if you could stand in her light for a few seconds, all would be well. I have always marveled at her. If you are from NZ, you know the power of the aunties (no one messes with aunties), and Lyn is definitely an auntie you don’t mess with.

She has been sick recently and, long story short, has deteriorated to a point where palliative care is the only option. So the past few weeks have been consumed with being back in my hometown to tend to her and support whanau. She takes it in her stride, she is fully informed and aware of her situation and the timeframe for her inevitable outcome, which is shorter than anyone would like. I know that no matter what else happens in my life, my Aunty Lyn has shown me that death can be met head-on, looked at right in the face with a cool eye and an assurance that yes I see you coming, but I’m not cowed.

That’s where I’m at, and watching her has given me huge perspective. Maybe her final gift!

David:

If you see the evil in this world, if you see the injustice and in your own small way try and make the world a better place then you are doing your bit!

When I was young I thought my generation was going to change the world for the better and quickly became disillusioned when it seemed nothing was changing but change takes time.

Comfort yourself in what is happening in the world now is the dying of dinosaurs, is the old style of politics and running a country in its death throes and fighting a losing war.

I’m 65 and for every piece of fuckery out there, there is more than enough kindness and love.

Fionn:

I saw something online recently which said, “Don’t fall into despair, fall into community,” which was exactly the advice I needed.

Connection is so important — with people we love, and with the things that matter to us.

Again — thanks to all of you who shared. I really recommend reading through all of them if you have a moment.

Before I leave, because I’m a sucker for punishment — I wanted to share a video that made me want to vomit: Two chat GPT’s talking — and then singing — to each other.

I have never felt so muck ick.

Happy weekend everyone,

David.