RIP to Millennials Killing Everything
We had a good run, but it’s over. Now it’s Gen Z’s turn to take up the knife.
Hi,
Before we get to Hayden’s column — RIP to Millennials Killing Everything — a quick observation.
There was a day last week where it had suddenly reached 10pm and I hadn’t eaten all day. Hunger had suddenly gripped me with a panicky all-consuming force, so I jumped onto Uber Eats and ordered a giant chicken tikka masala, rice, two garlic naans and mango lassi.
The food went directly to the other side of town — because the week prior I’d been at a friend’s house and ordered dinner to their place and forgotten to change the address back.
Internally I screamed with rage. That rage you feel when you know you and you alone are to blame for your stupid situation. It’s not another person, or an external force: it’s your own stupidity that got you there.
Rage.
Rage.
Rage.
Look. I am not the first to order Uber Eats to the wrong address.
But it reminded me of another thing I’ve noticed happening lately — the weaponising of Uber Eats, with meals being sent to the “wrong” address.
It started in New Zealand earlier this month:
Torbay resident Jake Scott, 27, assumed a mistake had been made when Uber Eats delivered him a pot of noodles, some milk and chocolate at 2am on Sunday.
But it soon became clear this was no mistake when the deliveries kept coming, about 10 times per day, including through the night and to his workplace.
It kept happening:
Now the phenomenon has moved from New Zealand to Los Angeles, the LA Times reporting:
At first, the deliveries were sort of delightful.
There were chicken sandwiches, milkshakes, pastries, lattes and more. Then the items started arriving multiple times a day, at all hours, delivered by Uber Eats.
The thing is, the recipients never ordered any of it.
I don’t really know what to say, except I guess this is the prank people are doing in 2023. I wish someone pranked me a curry last week when mine darted to the other side of town.
Okay, it’s time for Hayden Donnell. He has thoughts as you prepare for your weekend.
See you in the comments.
David.
RIP to Millennials Killing Everything
by Hayden Donnell.
Jeffrey Dahmer has nothing on Millennials. For years, my otherwise pathetic, destitute generation has been on an unceasing and bloody killing spree, bludgeoning and stabbing its way through the pillars of modern society. Millennials have killed casual dining. We’ve killed beer and golf. We’ve killed movies, marriage, and marmalade.
