Giving Them Hell

Hi,

Last week in ‘The US Is a Fascist Nation’ I somewhat provocatively – but also very seriously – posited the idea of just retiring Christianity:

At what point do the Good Christians (they exist; I know plenty) retire the whole thing. At what point do they keep on being good people, but hang up the baggage. 

Plenty of readers agreed with me, which is always nice as people agreeing with you makes you feel less insane.

But I also heard from a number of Christian readers who gently pushed back – including some pastors. Yes, Webworm’s readership includes some pastors, like G:

“I'm a Christian minister as you can see from my signature. I hang in there because I still believe in the good things of God more than the bad things of his children. And I'm like you, I can't correlate Trump to any form of Christianity.”

And Reverend B:

“We work at a little parish [in New Zealand], mostly older people who have worshipped here 50 plus years, a few Evangelicals who burnt out in other churches and needed a safe home, and others seeking refuge from very conservative leaders. 

I'm so sad and enraged watching this Christian Nationalism make its way to New Zealand. To those outside the church, it seems that people think we 'Christians' are all like this, which is bloody embarrassing. 

I just wanted to thank you for your work, remind you that there are some of us out here trying to do good by Jesus' message, and maybe we need some more uplifting stories about what faith in God can look like, and what good the church can offer communities. But that's probably my work to do, and not yours. 

We're not all fucking assholes.”

Then there’s Heather, who wrote me a series of emails that made me cry. She’s a pastor at Multnomah Presbyterian Church in Portland, Oregon. 

We ended up emailing back and forth a little, and she told me she had three rescue dogs “with three eyes between them” (a Saint Bernard, a Husky mix and a French Bulldog), and two hairless cats that allegedly love to snuggle. “I don't know how people are surviving right now without animals,” she told me.

I asked her permission to lightly edit and share what she wrote, and she said yes.

I should note that Heather’s surname is "Hellman", so there is a chance she is actually The Devil.

Heather Hellman On Giving Them Hell

I often question am I part of feeding the broken machine, or am I helping to fix it a little piece at a time. 

I still don't know. 

I stayed with my church to protect the trans kids in my youth group, and then the anti-queer pastors left, and eventually the haters left. They took 1/3 of our budget with them, but still our leaders decided it was the right thing to do to become fully LGBTQIA welcoming. 

Now I am the pastor of the church and we are doing our best to apologize, to move forward with love, and to serve our community. I like to say we throw love at the wall and see what sticks right now. If we disagree on scripture, we let Jesus’ words and actions be the tie breaker. We are not perfect by any means, but we are trying to lead with love. 

Part of serving our community in Portland right now is standing in solidarity with our immigrant neighbors. Many of our people are protesting and writing, and doing all the things one can legally and peacefully. 

The largest protest in the week – leading up to the announcement that troops would be sent – included over 100 pastors.

I was a part of that. We surrounded the ICE center praying and saying the names of the 100 people kidnapped here since June. Pastors have been there in a Pastor Presence Program and at the courthouse everyday working with the legal advisors, providing support to families of those detained, showing up for court dates, and walking people back to their cars. 

Pastors are also there to help de-escalate and distract the right wing counter protestors that have shown up. In supposedly godless Portland, people are grateful to have these pastors there, and are asking for more. 

I have my first shift of this pastor presence program on Thursday. We have to wear full pastor gear so we are easily identifiable. I had to order a collar, and friends are giving me stoles because I have always balked at this stuff! 

It's so bizarre that we have to defend our city like this. I spent last week in trauma informed care training, de escalation training and emergency meetings all about caring for people in trauma and preventing trauma our president is inflicting. 

I was worried my pink hair and septum piercing would get in the way, and asked the organizers if I should tone things down. Their response was, ‘They can't steal our joy, and what a beautiful thing it is to have your pink hair with all the old bald heads’. 

This community of pastors is a good one. Jesus told us to welcome the immigrant; to think of the prisoner. We are trying. I will probably be able to commiserate with your tear gas experience soon. Already at our protest weeks ago the dusty ground on the side of the building was full of pepper spray residue that had us choking. 

I don't know if Christianity can or should be saved, or if our country can – but I am going to keep trying to stand for love. The love that Jesus taught us can make the world better: The love that sides with the oppressed. 

-Heather Hellman,
Multnomah Presbyterian Church, Portland OR

David here again. With all that in mind, I'll be heading to Portland on Thursday to join Heather outside ICE HQ. I’ll report back.

Before I go, I also wanted to share some of the feedback you left in the comments section under 'The US Is a Fascist Nation', as I feel it really reflects where things are at.

Dylan Reeve, New Zealand:

The reason it feels like it's a watershed is that it's so overtly authoritarian.

It's obviously not like this is a new thing for second-term Trump, but this is so much more naked. He's speaking directly to the enforcement forces he believes he controls. He's creating some new crime and the sentence for that crime. This is not ambiguous, there is a clear Supreme Court ruling.

There's no longer any pretense of process, or chain of command, or legal precedent. Whatever he can imagine he tweets (or "Truths") as some sort of law by fiat.

I mean, it's certainly not the most brazenly Unamerican thing he's currently doing - I think that honour goes to the repeated extra-judicial murders of foreign civilians deemed to be "narco-terrorists" - but it's just the most blunt and direct.

From afar this whole thing seems sort of like a bizarre pantomime. I can watch and simply go "Oh no, what now?" but I have friends in the US. I like visiting the US.

I have some sort of hope that the reign of Trump will end at some stage, but I can't begin to imagine how the country will go about fixing what he's broken. Almost everything that Americans and the world thought was true about the American system has been proven to be a fantasy. 

There's no co-equal branches of Government checking each other, there's no independent Department of Justice, there's no separation of civilian and military leadership, the military isn't apolitical, due process isn't an inalienable right, the media and academics don't enjoy the right of free speech.

So far there's hope that the right free and fair elections remain, but it's hard to remain optimistic about that.

Jenny, USA:

I’m terrified. As a disabled, genderqueer (with a uterus), half native, I’m terrified with nowhere to go. I struggle to eat and sleep worrying about those who are being targeted more pointedly than I am. 

I do what I can to plan, to hold what little ground I have, and to find some small joys… but so many of us have nowhere to go. This will be a more violent, even darker future for us on the bottom. 

The US is still considered a “safe country” so seeking asylum isn’t an option (I read that dutch courts are reviewing this), but I get the feeling that the general consensus is that we’ve somehow asked for this through our votes. 

Even David expressed this at the end of this piece. “And the USA voted for it.” As if even most of us voted for this. We didn’t. The true majority of us are victims of those who manipulate the systems through redrawing districts and abuse the electoral college. Even the Christian cultists are minimal. And now those in power have set their sights on destroying us. I live just a few hours from Canada and safety feels so very near, but the political lines are chasms.

AT, New Zealand

The impression I get is that many “good” people on the left erroneously believe that this is a blip, an aberration and once Donald Trump is no longer President everything won’t be nearly as bad. The Democratic Party will surely fix things.

That is a fallacy. If this was to be stopped it should have happened months (if not years) ago. No one can stop this juggernaut in the near future.

The worst of the worst of the 1% have taken over and I can’t imagine how on earth they can be held to account now. The USA is blatantly racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, any-science, anti- free thought, anti-education, anti-freedom.

And everyone must toe the line or fear the consequences.

Watch your back, dude.

Including from the rich, conservative arseholes here in Aotearoa, New Zealand who want the same kind of government here.

Anjum, USA:

I've read commentary from black people saying this is the way the US has always worked for them. Lack of justice, poverty, state violence, exclusion in so many ways. And the feeling that it's mattering more now because it's happening to white people as well. Like, an Arab-American burning a US flag in the US would always have been in danger.

We like to kid ourselves that racism is something the right does. Not true. I've been in plenty of left spaces for long periods of time, and the racism runs deep. It doesn't disappear around issues of class, workers' rights and poverty. It has still consistently been, "Not now, not yet, let's not poke the bear, the time isn't right".

So many progressive Pākehā I've dealt with this year wanted to back down, back off, avoid conflict. Standing in solidarity when their wellbeing is perceived to be on the line.

In January, I felt the world was in a pre-war state, and that it's time to put our bodies on the line. When I see how people in the Global Samud Flotilla have done this, I find myself falling short. Still too busy being comfortable and safe.

I remember someone asking us in a leadership course back in 2017: "What cause would you be willing to get arrested for?" Yeah, I'm still trying to answer that one.

Jemiah, replying to the above:

As a Black person (and a fat person, and a queer person, and a person with an invisible disability, and a "nerd", and a punk weirdo in general), yes, this is the way the United States has always been, since before any documents were drawn up or signed. So I'm just less alarmed than many.

I ain't goin' nowhere. I will not be run off: my place in the most gorgeous, wonderful city I've ever known (Portland), no matter how many times they buzz our neighborhood with helicopters like they did last night.

Where I live, very close to the center of town, it's so mellow and calm that I can hear many different kinds of bird calls at all times of day; we have free food pantries in at least three different spots that even my tired ass can walk to; we share, we give, we stand up for each other, we take care of each other. I've got money in the bank and a birthday party to attend tonight. To quote Tom Hardy, "I laugh at bullies."

Hopefully I will catch up with Jemiah in Portland, too. It’s gonna be a Webworm party.

PS: Fuck ICE.

Finally, a Note on The Ethos of Webworm

I feel incredibly lucky to do journalism here, and have people read it and – like today – talk to me about it.

But there are boring bits too, and I tend to do those odds and ends between 6am and 8am when no-one is calling or texting or bugging me. The early hours are mostly little bits of tech support, answering people’s questions about their accounts and that sort of thing.

I got an email today that’s rare, but happens now and then – and I wanted to share it just as a reminder that if you ever get a mystery Webworm charge on your credit card, or your circumstances change and a Webworm membership causes you any kind of financial hardship - please:

1. Downgrade to a free sub (do this from your account settings after logging in at www.webworm.co)
2. Get in touch about getting a comp (davidfarrier@protonmail.com) 
3. Email me to talk through anything confusing! You pay me – so I am your direct tech support, and I take that seriously.

Anyway, here is the email I got:

Subject: WTF? Unauthorised debit from my account for Webworm

I am not a subscriber/paying member according to my profile on webworm but I  see a debit from my bank account with Westpac 21 September for $42.24. I don’t see any receipt in my email and I don’t remember signing up to pay you that! I don’t want to make any more payments and you can refund this one.

I am a pensioner for God’s sake!

And your contact support button on the website doesn’t work and I have had to spend 15 minutes sorting out how to contact you. I’m not pleased.

Please respond and refund ASAP.

While it’s bristly and prickly, I know the feeling and frustration of a mystery charge on a credit card. This was my reply:

First up, of course I am happy to refund this - please just let me know your bank account details and I can get that processed. If you're a New Zealand bank (I think you are) it should be an overnight thing, or two days max. I hate that this caused you any anxiety and difficulty.

This is what I call my "nightmare scenario", where someone gets charged a thing for Webworm when they did not expect it - especially when money is tight. 

I never want anyone paying for my work when it stretches them in any way. I comp full memberships for pensioners/students/anyone on a benefit in a second (as I have just done for you). It is, I think, the worst case scenario about running a service that comes with the ability to pay for it! 

Now, I looked into what happened here, and it looks like on September 20, you used the Webworm "Tip Jar". This is basically an option I add as a button in some articles where you can tip a 1-off amount to Webworm. It's an option for people that don't wanna subscribe each month but want to support my work.

You chose $25 USD, which translates to $42.24 NZD, which is where this amount came from. If this wasn’t you, maybe a grandkid or someone was naughty and did it on your behalf, in which case please yell at them from me.

Also sorry it was hard to get in touch with me; I keep this email address pretty public (I like people being able to get in touch easily with either problems or story tips - davidfarrier@protonmail.com), and the Webworm tech support email listed is david@webworm.co also reaches me.

As I said: Please let me know your account details (I can't see my end) and I will refund. And accept this guilt-free - I have enough subscribers to let me do what I do!!! 

Again, sorry this caused you angst. Any questions just reply to this email, I am on the road but checking emails when I can.

They replied (much happier – it was the tip jar thing), I refunded them all of it, comped them, and reinforced that I never want anyone paying for Webworm if things are tight.

My point is: The same goes for you. Never forget that, and get in touch anytime.

Thanks for reading and supporting my stuff.

David.