This is what I have!! I only discovered it last year when I realised my husband was speaking literally when he described seeing a memory! Suddenly so many things made sense- being throughly confused when told to ‘visualise’ a calm, peaceful place in yoga class, or ‘draw the image you see in your minds eye’. NOPE. I have nothing but black. I can’t even visualise my children, but I ‘know’ I am thinking of them. I am a voracious reader but have no visual connection to character or setting. But a good description does evoke a ‘feeling’ of that object.
I commented last week about having this in regards to memory problems! Everything Kate wrote are conversations I’ve frustratingly had myself with other people when they just don’t “get” it.
Given an Elon Musk-ish chance, I would change it in a heartbeat. I don’t want to be like this but I’ve accepted it. It’s very grim when you really think about it because I feel like I’m missing out on so much.
The benefit is all the years of awful traumatising shit I’ve seen on the internet in my life don’t have a lasting effect because I can’t recall the images. American soldier being beheaded? Gone. 1 man 1 jar? Gone. Everything I saw on rotten.com? See ya.
Welcome to the world of neurodiversity. Of course most people think how they experience the world is the normal or only way. But we now know that there are so many more ways to experience it. There are now names for several of these conditions. For example, synaethesia (experiencing words, numbers etc as colour and form), dyspraxia (how the body moves in space and physical coordination eg left/right differentiation can be tricky), dyslexia (reading print is not straightforward), dyscalculia (numbers and numerical calculation can be a mystery) etc. Regarding memory some autistic people report that experiences are like having an ongoing video recording in the brain, that constantly replays and can never be deleted. As well sensitivities to sight, sound, touch, smell and taste may be much more intense that for the neurotypical population.
I was just talking about this to a friend of mine. Its a spectrum as well. I have images in my mind but they are black silhouettes with no features. I can think about my wife, or my parents and I see shadowed mannequins with no features. I know its them because I am thinking of them, but I cant see any details or color. I can visualize the layout of my room, where the couch is, because I know it as a fact, but i only can see various black furniture-shaped patches where I know objects are. I have no ability to visualize the background, if I close my eyes I cant recall what color the walls are, theyre just not present to me. Realizing this has been helpful and astounding, my friend is a personal trainer and Ive been struggling with working out because I can never visualize how something should look or feel because there is no detail in my imagination to pick up on.
Wow, I am unable to conceptualise being able to remember things without being able to 'see' or 'hear' them! Though from Kate's amazing description she still 'knows'. I used to marvel at Helen Keller and her ability to remember
and learn things for that same reason, and I now have some small semblance of understanding around that process now. Thank you Kate! Good luck to you, David, re the ADHD diagnosis. My youngest has just had this diagnosis and my preconceptions of what this means for people dealing with it has been turned on its head. I always thought it was a physical manifestation.... Literally the inability to remain still or to relax. My daughter tells me for her it isn't physical, it is entirely mental, in that she has huge issues trying to keep her mind and focus on something for any length of time. As a singer songwriter, this has huge positive AND negative connotations for her. Thanks to you also D, for sharing you experience. I truly believe that genius can only exist somewhere outside of the spectrum, and your writing embodies all of that.
For interested people wanting a useful adhd resource, check out additude.com This is a very good source of expert information. I have several family members with adhd and I find it seriously useful.
Wow! Good luck for your adhd diagnosis. My husband was diagnosed at 70 and a tiny dose of Ritalin has changed our lives. Also, we now know that we both (!!) have aphantasia. He is unable to remember faces but has intense childhood memories, I’m a little better at faces but huge parts of my life lack memories and I am right now developing an interest in aphantasia and the mechanisms of memory. Thanks for this.
I’m 45 and only realised I have aphantasia about 2 years ago. It explains a lot of things! Nothing too negative, if anything there are positives such as not vividly seeing awful images in your head. The memory of experiences are there just not the images.
I wonder, if I could picture numbers in my head would I be better at maths! My husband has synesthesia and see colours with numbers and is brilliant at maths. He only discovered this a few years ago after asking me what colours I saw! It’s all so fascinating. So many studies going on, here is a recent one
When you realise how differently peoples brains operate it makes it slightly easier to understand how people can be effected by things like conspiracy theories, when you yourself think they, the theories, are nuts.
I came back to do the quiz out of curiosity and watch Arab Strap. Amazing piece, how incredible, we know people but don't know what software they are running on. I did the quiz to try and get some further insight into how it feels to have aphantasia, I don't, but its was interesting what was vivid and what wasnt. As I said on your memory piece, I remember bad things vividly, I can relive them, good things are much less vivid. Anyway, thanks both for sharing your unique experiences. Arab Strap track really good. #bongos
I have to wonder how many of these conditions are co-morbid (really don’t like that word - it implies something worse than it really is!) with others? I say this as I knew someone who worked with autistic children, and I remember her telling me about one kid she worked with who was incapable of imagining things (which she said made English lessons hell for him) - which I now realise was aphantasia.
Going back to your ADHD article, this is VERY timely as I myself am in the process of getting a referral for a potential diagnosis. Officially I am on the autistic spectrum (having been diagnosed very early in life) but looking back, I wonder whether I may have been misdiagnosed and actually have ADHD? Or more likely I just have both ‘disorders’.
This is so interesting! I rely on picturing things in my mind so much I don’t know what I’d do without that ability! That being said my memory is terrible due to trauma, and it makes life a nightmare because all I can remember are parts of the events that caused the trauma, it’s like being stuck in that time mentally but watching on a TV, all the while your physical body is plodding along as normal.
I’m in the process of being diagnosed with PTSD and started a treatment called EMDR to file those memories away and hopefully restore the good memories, because like you I’ve lived a lot of my life as an entertainment journo interviewing amazing people and I literally just cannot remember it! I just avoid mentioning that part of my life now as I feel like it sounds totally egocentric to say “oh I interview Meryl Streep but no I can’t remember it” when in reality the brain is just complex
Ok so when they say visualize a picture in your head, people can really see it in their head?
This is what I have!! I only discovered it last year when I realised my husband was speaking literally when he described seeing a memory! Suddenly so many things made sense- being throughly confused when told to ‘visualise’ a calm, peaceful place in yoga class, or ‘draw the image you see in your minds eye’. NOPE. I have nothing but black. I can’t even visualise my children, but I ‘know’ I am thinking of them. I am a voracious reader but have no visual connection to character or setting. But a good description does evoke a ‘feeling’ of that object.
I commented last week about having this in regards to memory problems! Everything Kate wrote are conversations I’ve frustratingly had myself with other people when they just don’t “get” it.
Given an Elon Musk-ish chance, I would change it in a heartbeat. I don’t want to be like this but I’ve accepted it. It’s very grim when you really think about it because I feel like I’m missing out on so much.
The benefit is all the years of awful traumatising shit I’ve seen on the internet in my life don’t have a lasting effect because I can’t recall the images. American soldier being beheaded? Gone. 1 man 1 jar? Gone. Everything I saw on rotten.com? See ya.
Welcome to the world of neurodiversity. Of course most people think how they experience the world is the normal or only way. But we now know that there are so many more ways to experience it. There are now names for several of these conditions. For example, synaethesia (experiencing words, numbers etc as colour and form), dyspraxia (how the body moves in space and physical coordination eg left/right differentiation can be tricky), dyslexia (reading print is not straightforward), dyscalculia (numbers and numerical calculation can be a mystery) etc. Regarding memory some autistic people report that experiences are like having an ongoing video recording in the brain, that constantly replays and can never be deleted. As well sensitivities to sight, sound, touch, smell and taste may be much more intense that for the neurotypical population.
This is so interesting to me. I can't imagine not being able to visualize things in my head. I wonder do they have dreams when they're asleep?
I was just talking about this to a friend of mine. Its a spectrum as well. I have images in my mind but they are black silhouettes with no features. I can think about my wife, or my parents and I see shadowed mannequins with no features. I know its them because I am thinking of them, but I cant see any details or color. I can visualize the layout of my room, where the couch is, because I know it as a fact, but i only can see various black furniture-shaped patches where I know objects are. I have no ability to visualize the background, if I close my eyes I cant recall what color the walls are, theyre just not present to me. Realizing this has been helpful and astounding, my friend is a personal trainer and Ive been struggling with working out because I can never visualize how something should look or feel because there is no detail in my imagination to pick up on.
Wow, I am unable to conceptualise being able to remember things without being able to 'see' or 'hear' them! Though from Kate's amazing description she still 'knows'. I used to marvel at Helen Keller and her ability to remember
and learn things for that same reason, and I now have some small semblance of understanding around that process now. Thank you Kate! Good luck to you, David, re the ADHD diagnosis. My youngest has just had this diagnosis and my preconceptions of what this means for people dealing with it has been turned on its head. I always thought it was a physical manifestation.... Literally the inability to remain still or to relax. My daughter tells me for her it isn't physical, it is entirely mental, in that she has huge issues trying to keep her mind and focus on something for any length of time. As a singer songwriter, this has huge positive AND negative connotations for her. Thanks to you also D, for sharing you experience. I truly believe that genius can only exist somewhere outside of the spectrum, and your writing embodies all of that.
For interested people wanting a useful adhd resource, check out additude.com This is a very good source of expert information. I have several family members with adhd and I find it seriously useful.
Wow! Good luck for your adhd diagnosis. My husband was diagnosed at 70 and a tiny dose of Ritalin has changed our lives. Also, we now know that we both (!!) have aphantasia. He is unable to remember faces but has intense childhood memories, I’m a little better at faces but huge parts of my life lack memories and I am right now developing an interest in aphantasia and the mechanisms of memory. Thanks for this.
Loved reading this-thanks.
I’m 45 and only realised I have aphantasia about 2 years ago. It explains a lot of things! Nothing too negative, if anything there are positives such as not vividly seeing awful images in your head. The memory of experiences are there just not the images.
I wonder, if I could picture numbers in my head would I be better at maths! My husband has synesthesia and see colours with numbers and is brilliant at maths. He only discovered this a few years ago after asking me what colours I saw! It’s all so fascinating. So many studies going on, here is a recent one
https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/lifematters/can-you-see-things-in-your-minds-eye-no-then-you-may-have/13238286
When you realise how differently peoples brains operate it makes it slightly easier to understand how people can be effected by things like conspiracy theories, when you yourself think they, the theories, are nuts.
People are strange.
I came back to do the quiz out of curiosity and watch Arab Strap. Amazing piece, how incredible, we know people but don't know what software they are running on. I did the quiz to try and get some further insight into how it feels to have aphantasia, I don't, but its was interesting what was vivid and what wasnt. As I said on your memory piece, I remember bad things vividly, I can relive them, good things are much less vivid. Anyway, thanks both for sharing your unique experiences. Arab Strap track really good. #bongos
Great article - thank you Kate and David!
I have to wonder how many of these conditions are co-morbid (really don’t like that word - it implies something worse than it really is!) with others? I say this as I knew someone who worked with autistic children, and I remember her telling me about one kid she worked with who was incapable of imagining things (which she said made English lessons hell for him) - which I now realise was aphantasia.
Going back to your ADHD article, this is VERY timely as I myself am in the process of getting a referral for a potential diagnosis. Officially I am on the autistic spectrum (having been diagnosed very early in life) but looking back, I wonder whether I may have been misdiagnosed and actually have ADHD? Or more likely I just have both ‘disorders’.
Fascinating! Thank you Kate
This is so interesting! I rely on picturing things in my mind so much I don’t know what I’d do without that ability! That being said my memory is terrible due to trauma, and it makes life a nightmare because all I can remember are parts of the events that caused the trauma, it’s like being stuck in that time mentally but watching on a TV, all the while your physical body is plodding along as normal.
I’m in the process of being diagnosed with PTSD and started a treatment called EMDR to file those memories away and hopefully restore the good memories, because like you I’ve lived a lot of my life as an entertainment journo interviewing amazing people and I literally just cannot remember it! I just avoid mentioning that part of my life now as I feel like it sounds totally egocentric to say “oh I interview Meryl Streep but no I can’t remember it” when in reality the brain is just complex
I've not had time to properly comment on this truly interesting discovery, but seeing this article today reminded me of you: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2021/03/210310122434.htm