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David Farrier's avatar

Hi all - just wanted to say that I am so appreciative of all your comments.

I have just been mulling things over, and will hop in when I have a clear head. I have gotten *so* many emails from other former interns who have stuff to say - so have been lost in that and processing it, as well.

I feel there will be more to say about Arise - and it's interesting to see their leader has left a rambling message on Instagram, talking a lot about "doing better" - and yet they still can't be bothered getting back to me or actually addressing anything.

In other words... it's a Hillsong response:

John Cameron's post: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb6-lv6v303/

"The most painful thing about leadership I’ve experienced is that todays personal growth and maturity enables you to see yesterday’s immaturity. And the impact that yesterday’s immaturity (a bit dysfunction too I reckon) had in the way you led and on those you lead.

“You don’t know what you don’t know”. It’s a phrase I use a lot. To describe the need for constant growth. The need for humility, without which we are all blind to our faults and flaws. It’s why I read books, listen to podcasts, ask a ton of questions. I am searching for what I don’t know.

I’ve had to find peace in the knowledge that there will never be a moment when I’m a perfect leader. Maybe no one else finds that a tension. But because I truly do love people I need to know that I can leads others, even if that’s potentially imperfectly.

I’ll tell you what I can also do: I can grow. I can learn. I can own my mistakes and apologise if I need to. Just two days ago I did just that to someone I used to lead. I said I’m sorry. And it brought healing I think. To them but also to me. It brought us closer & it helped make me better.

There’s one thing I am so grateful for: I’m a way better leader now that I was even five years ago. By better I mean kinder, more empathetic, secure, more encouraging & for sure a lot more emotionally consistent. There’s nothing like the fire to either destroy you or refine you. I hope I’m choosing the refiners fire. I believe I am.

To every other leader our there: here’s to growth. Here’s to pain. Here’s to keeping our dreams alive & our hearts encouraged.

Much love, John"

**

I am not surprised, but it's still frustrating to see. Accountability seems impossible for these people, who are obsessed with "Kingdom building". More money, more churches, more churn.

It's.... fucking insane.

David

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Tim's avatar

Hey David, thank you for this. I’ve sent it to a couple of ex-Penti church friends and I think, like I have, found it to be strangely therapeutic. It brings back so many memories, most of which are pretty dark. My (now) wife and I were DEEP into a Pentecostal church in Dunedin, which isn’t Arise but they operate from an almost identical playbook. My wife “served” as an intern for a good 2 or so years before burning out. I drank the koolaid and did overseas missions, donated a lot of student loan money, and served to the extent that I only had one evening off each week. Yep, ONE evening OFF. It was all consuming and incredibly intense. It’s just odd how when you’re surrounded by people who think and believe the same way, you loose perspective. It all seems to normal - but it’s not. Odd behaviour or requests are quickly justified by it “being God” or “the need to have a servant heart”. Any critical thinking or questioning would immediately leave you feeling guilty as it was a sure sign you were under spiritual attack, Satan was really having a dig at you. True faith filled believers wouldn’t question things, they’d just believe. This thinking compounds to cause an enormous psychological toll on many people in these churches. It inevitably affects them for years to come, I know of many who still carry the scars and pain. Thanks for shining a light on this.

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