Bethlehem College does not allow the HPV vaccine to be given at their school. They believe that teenagers being vaccinated against HPV will lead to premarital sex.
That sounds horrific. I'm so sorry you and your peers went through all that. Ugh. Completely fucked up. The horror stories can be good for those "two truths and a lie" games though. I've got a few stories that seem way too far fetched to be the truth!
This makes me so angry. It's such a simple way to reduce risk of a whole heap of nasty cancer later in life. But nah, gotta prioritise toxic purity (mostly for the girls of course) over everything else. FFS.
Super gross they are telling people to tick each of those boxes just to enrol. You and I have talked a bit about my Christian upbringing in the US, David, but for some reason this just reminds me of my terrible time in Earth Science. Where the teacher was (correctly) teaching us about the scientific origins of the Earth, but I was so indoctrinated I kept answering the exam questions the way they taught us in Sunday school, like the Earth was only 6,000 years old (LOL) and such. My fucking word am I glad I left all that shit behind. I can't pinpoint the exact moment where I was like "hmmm...nahhhhh" but whatever it was, I'm grateful.
So did I. I performed all kinds of mental gymnastics in biology and even aced the evolution section, despite at the time holding onto my indoctrination into creationism. But I found it increasingly hard to reconcile the scientific evidence with young earth creationism. Ken Ham et al claim that radio isotope dating is unreliable. But they cherry pick the evidence.
Some years ago I read a paper by the Creation Research Institute criticizing a particular radio isotope dating technique for the age of the earth. While the estimates in the early studies were highly variable, over time as the technique was refined and errors and biases corrected it became much more consistent both internally and with the result of other radioisotope techniques. As a case study of the efficacy of the scientific method in action, it was brilliant. The end result was I was more confident than ever the earth was 4.5b years old and young earth creationism was a myth, the exact opposite of what he author was trying to achieve.
Powerful stuff. “If the environment they create causes people to feel hated and excluded” seems a pretty simple tenet to follow. And if that gets too complicated, they could always, I dunno, do what the other guy who was born in Bethlehem on Christmas Day did.
It’s so cringy for me to look back at my teenage years of believing and defending that bullshit. I voluntarily got involved with super evangelical groups. I studied social work and theology in college and literally remember sitting in a class, learning about some biblical heresy and thinking “this absolutely doesn’t matter.” I remember instead taking theological ethics classes (poverty, wealth and justice) and finding that much more relevant to my life. I also fit in the mold of “good christian” with a health dose of purity culture / sex-is-a-sin wrapped up in it too.
All that to say, l get the complicated feelings. I feel shame about what I used to believe, but those groups also gave me a place to belong and people that I cared deeply about. I’m 37 so this was back in the days of defining marriage as between a man and a woman. I have all kinds of complicated feelings about organized religion and identify as agnostic at best but it’s been a journey.
Thanks for sharing! I like all your reporting but feel extra special when we get a glimpse into your personal experiences.
I did a year of religious studies at Uni - looking at Judaism, Christianity and Islam from an academic perspective. It was instrumental in allowing me to move out from under the umbrella of the 'religious' doctrine - that is pretty much pure self serving b-s. And the history of those religions are fascinating - as are the strong links and similarities. It was all about a power shift that caused the breakaway factions. Just like we have so many Christian movements now that think they have got it right and the rest are wrong. It made me permanently disrespect all religions, and their power happy bloke driven misogynist racist crap. If there is a god, it/he/she must be quietly horrified at it all, lol.
I have to, once again in comments here I suspect, ask "Who said God said? Who said God instituted marriage between a man and a woman? Who said it was God's law?"
I don't think Jesus ever condemned anyone for loving another, in fact he promoted it. How his teaching gets twisted is very, very sad.
The whole point of the bible is as a document of social control, taken from selected writings of the time, by men of the early church - all of it carefully curated to keep people in line. Other writings of the time were shunned as they didn't fit the required strictures - there certainly were other accounts of Jesus' life at the time the 4 apostles (M, M, L & J) wrote theirs. So it is *literally* a book of highly curated writings, and should hold no more sway than that.
There is the Gospel of Mary, removed by the early church....which after all, consisted of men raised in the Jewish faith. Old misogynist habits die hard. No surprises there.
Maybe what they are afraid of is that if they admit it was a human (man probably) who made these 'laws' and not God, the next step is to admit that there is no god at all. Or at least no god that makes rules or intervenes in any way in the running of the universe.
Keep the worldly values of love and compassion taught by Jesus if you like.
I think what a lot of churches need to realise is that society has progressed. Slowly, but surely, humans have started challenging and changing laws that they have agreed are damaging and hurtful to people and restrictive to their capacity to live a full and authentic life. Different countries at different paces, but across the world there is some recognition, and varying levels of progress, with this.
There are massive problems with a school making parents and students sign documentation that contradicts law. Morally and ethically these views have always been awful, but now they are not supported in legal definitions either.
Values are fine. Forgiveness, service, kindness, doing the right thing. Make a nice long list of commitments aligning to that kind of stuff and get everyone to tick away. Anything that starts to seep into judgements on how you identify and present as a person and the ways you may wish to form relationships, as you are legally entitled to, absolutely not appropriate ever.
Its so disappointing that there is still so much work to do, but its heartening that there are more people taking up that challenge and bringing attention to these things still existing.
There will be a lot here for you David and its really awesome you can face into your own history again, at a minimum as a display of how change is possible, but also demonstrating how acknowledging something once is not how life works. True bravery is facing into that battle again and again, every time there is value to others that you do so. So thank you.
Thanks Beck. To be honest, writing about a lot of this stuff over the last few months has been super cathartic for me. I mean it's not a FUN thing to write about, but ya know.
I also think you're totally right: Society has progressed. And so has communication: En masse people can come together online (like, through a meme page!) and just TALK and go "this is not cool." That never really used to happen. And these ancient ideas just can't keep up. Because they're.... fucking stupid.
And also THIS: "Values are fine. Forgiveness, service, kindness, doing the right thing. Make a nice long list of commitments aligning to that kind of stuff and get everyone to tick away."
YES! DO THAT! IT'S SO MUCH MORE LOGICAL, KIND, and... dare I say it: Christ-like.
I don't think the documentation does "contradict law" though. For a long time, our laws have prioritised religious freedom over other freedoms. It is still legal for employers to discriminate on the basis of sexuality, gender identity etc, if they are religious employers. It is still legal for a minister to refuse to marry queer couples. It is still legal for schools to teach a purity doctrine. Some of our law makers are conservative Christians, or have them as friends (probably donors in some cases). Others, I think, have seen this as a compromise needed to get the laws past - like if we didn't put in an exemption for religion we might not have achieved marriage (almost) equality. The irony is that it doesn't even protect freedom of religion for all. I am part of an inclusive parish where we want to be able to fully welcome everyone and celebrate all love... but the national church has discriminatory rules - which are sanctioned by the state! It does give me hope that the Conversion Practices ban did not include a blanket exception for prayer (which the conservative Christians were lobbying for). However, it is still legal to teach homophobic/biphobic/transphobic beliefs, so long as you are not directing those at an individual and trying to make them change... Of course we know that preaching to the masses (or having someone sign something saying marriage is only meant to be between a man and a woman) is going to continue to cause harm... but by understanding is that it is not illegal. It sounds as though the school has also been directing conversion practices to individuals, which if that is continuing is now a criminal offence.
Those are some really good points and tbh you could totally be right. Because this was an actual document that required completion and adherence too I figured there would be implications based on its deviation from the definition of what can constitute a union under NZ law.
Its so odd that we allow for religious freedoms when considering the rules which govern the general population, as the freedom we are providing religious groups is often simply granting them ways to judge and condem.
But I like the sound of your church and its principles and outlook and its so nice to know that alternative practices and thinking exists within religious institutions too.
We have a state definition of marriage which is inclusive, but then the state authorizes religious organisations to solemnise marriages, and tells them they can choose not to marry some couples. We actually had some ministers in our parish go and apply to be civil celebrants, so they could keep marrying anyone and the church couldn't do anything about it (https://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/hutt-valley/9118004/Yes-ministers-open-door-to-gay-couples - and the Presbyterian church did bring in a ban after this article, and Norman still treats everyone equally and lovingly... but the website is woefully out of date sorry if anyone is trying to find a Yes minister). As for me, I think marriage has accumulated way too much baggage over the centuries. My partner and I had a celebration of our love in our church, and then we went through to the hall and did the legal civil union bit through there to symbolically keep the separation of church and state! We have no intention to "convert" our civil union to a marriage.
I could write a million words but..... just want to say that I am in awe of the person you have become in spite of / because of all this shit. I say this as a 70yo mother of 4 (wonderful) sons born between 1981 and 1990. As an atheist homeschooling family, we were surrounded by christian homeschoolers, some with extreme fundamentalist beliefs - the worst kept their distance from us 'devil's spawn' thank goodness. (Yes, that was a term used!) I am so sorry that you were treated to this shit, and so very glad you escaped and became the you that you are now.
Jun 12, 2022·edited Jun 13, 2022Liked by David Farrier
Thing is you're not joining a school or a church, you're joining a club and it's exclusive and you have to fit a mold and tick some freaking rules.
I went to a public low decile school and it was hard enough, teenage era is just hard. But I just can't imagine having set beliefs thrown on top of my mind as well at that time.
Yeah, totally! Being a teen is hard enough to start with - your body doing all kinds of crazy stuff and the brain trying to keep up. Adding this layer of WTF to things does... not help.
It seems so cowardly that this institution would write out such a nasty small minded checklist you're required to tick like its no big deal, and then the minute they are called on it they don't have the bold audacity to stand behind their bigotry. Seems sort of pathetic and all the more cruel or manipulative. If they're going to say it and demand entire families live by it than fucking own your shit and stand by it, or even better, say sorry, you're right, we are gross and we need to really look at this. But to cowardly back pedal and manipulate their intentions....pathetic.
I feel incredibly sad that young people are still having to deal with this type of awful discrimination and are being pushed to feel less than. Im so sorry this was your experience. I was so extremely lucky with my upbringing and I am so grateful for my parents absolute laid back whatever floats your boat attitude. I think I have shared this on here before, but my babysitters in the early 80s were my mum's best friends who happened to be gay guys who had a large collection of friends in the gay community that seemed to always be hanging out at our house. I thought normal was to love whoever you wanted. Ive had attractions to men and attractions to women and Im so happy I never had to question what that meant about me. Some of my best friends are gay and when I hear what their families have put them through I feel the same heavy heart and anger I feel reading this.
On the long car journeys on weekends i spent being ferried from Mum's house to Dad's house and back we would listen to all genres of music and at 7 I would recite Lou Reed's Transformer world for word. I had no idea at the time what half of what he was singing meant but between Reed's lyrics and Mum's friends I knew being gay or bi or trans was not in any way easy because some people in the world hated you for it and would do everything they could to discriminate, belittle, abuse and deny common human decency toward you. I could NEVER comprehend why. I think this was one of the very early reasons why I developed such distaste for religion, that and all the child molestations. I watched mum lose most of her friends in the 80s to Aids and no one gave a shit but worse still it seemed like certain religions felt homosexuals were getting what they deserved. I still feel rage at this.
Shame on this school, and shame on any institution that thinks they need to tell a young person who they have to be attracted to, or who they can marry. No child should go to school and be made to feel worthless by the very institution that's meant to be helping form their minds. No one should ever have to feel the things people are made to feel every day by these fucking places. School is for learning science and maths and discovering fabulous literature and art, not control and discrimination and abuse. I hope everyone stops ticking those pathetic little boxes and they take so much heat from this they are forced to alter their ways. It's tragic you know a child that didn't make it out of there alive..... So bloody sad.
Pathetic is it - such a weak comeback: "You do you". It's the backbone of their school, and they can't even really properly get behind it in public. But in their actions... it is *everything*.
I really like the way you were raised - no doubt it wasn't all straight forward, but it seems like you had a really open minded, wonderful start. Helps explain why you are such a delight now!
These special character schools have made me uneasy for a while. They're Integrated schools, and thus publicly-funded. This document demonstrates they can do whatever they like, and claim it under special character. So many of them are just Christian schools, of whatever flavour. It's like a free pass to sit outside our education system.
I'm on a school board. Under the Education and Training Act 2020, a board’s primary objective is to "ensure that every student at the school is able to attain their highest possible standard in educational achievement." Call me crazy, but I don't think this can happen when you're undermining and invalidating the very identity of some of your students. If a board has lost sight of that goal, they're not functioning.
I looked up Bethlehem and I see there was a notice in the Education Gazette in 2020, saying they had been granted a "supplementary integration agreement," but not what that agreement says. I don't see how they can be approved to teach (indoctrinate) things which directly contravene NZ law.
I met a few BS alumni when I was at Massey University, and they were all very straight-laced Christians.
"Call me crazy, but I don't think this can happen when you're undermining and invalidating the very identity of some of your students."
This, this, this.
Thanks for these posts about integrated schools and what that means - I didn't go into that at all here, so appreciate you filling it in here. Any more clarity on the supplementary integration in the future, please come back and post about it here. I always keep an eye on the comments.
There's also a statement of special character on the school's website, including the tick box statement of belief.
You can also view the school’s Charter on its website. This thing is *forty-nine* pages long. (A Charter outlines the strategic direction for the board.) It includes these gems:
5. Biblical Christian worldview will be more than a philosophical concept to be intellectually accepted, but will reflected in a lifestyle lived in obedience to God's Word and will affect all of life for the student.
6. Acceptance of the existence of free will, with all its attendant responsibilities, will help prevent indoctrination at Bethlehem College where the goal is education. This is worked out in such a way that students will be challenged and even provoked to consider a Godly lifestyle but 'free' to choose otherwise.
"It's like a free pass to sit outside our education system." Yeah, it is. We give religious organisations a bunch of free passes. Free pass to discriminate when employing people. Free pass to teach kids an alternative reality. Free pass for taxes. We recently took away their free pass to try and change an individual person's sexuality/gender identity through prayer or counseling or other practices. They're probably freaking out because they're used to getting a free pass. As for "how they can be approved to teach (indoctrinate) things which directly contravene NZ law"? I'm not sure which bit you are thinking is outside NZ law. They can't have teachers carrying out conversion practices on individuals - that would be an illegal conversion practice now. Can they teach that they believe the bible says that marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman? Yes, they can. Never mind that that's not even what the Bible says...
I was referring to the marriage bit, because while they may "believe" marriage is only between a man and a woman, that isn't the legal scope of it in NZ. I wasn't referencing conversion practices.
Right. But the law basically sets it out as a legal and religious institution. It defines who can access the legal bit, and it also authorises a bunch of religious organisation to carry out the legal bit according to their beliefs about what marriage is and who can access it. So different beliefs about marriage kind of are in the legal scope.
I'm going to just disagree with you. In NZ, the law is broader than just man and woman, and you can't just decide to say it's only for a man and a woman, and you can't teach your students that it's only for a man and a woman. Which David pointed out in this newsletter.
Ah, ok, I've seen David's update now. But it still seems like the legal issue isn't so much what the statement is, but that they didn't follow due process with updating it. I will be very happy to be proven wrong if they really are told they can't put it in.
Just to be clear, I don't think they should be teaching students this, and I think it's very harmful. I'm just pointing out that discrimination, and the teaching of harmful beliefs and prejudice, is sanctioned in various ways under NZ law. So they shouldn't teach this, but currently, it seems like they still can legally do so, because supposedly people are going there voluntarily because they agree with the "special character." Of course kids don't usually get to choose not to go if their parents want them to, and there's a bunch of other stuff that makes it complicated and not really "freedom." I hope things will change with public pressure and student activism. And of course journalists like David bringing this stuff to light is important, so the public can be aware and make it clear we are not ok with it continuing.
I just checked some more. The values of the Christian Education Trust are:
Love and loyalty to God
Love and care for others
Absolute truth of Scripture
Faith and prayer
Honesty and integrity
Service and humility
Wisdom and responsibility
Peace and forgiveness.
Love and care for others? Peace and forgiveness? Honesty and integrity? Going by some of the comments people have posted, the school's practices in many cases appear to fall far short of this.
I thought the Bible was largely metaphor for the human condition, with stories intended to demonstrate both goodness and badness and therefore point to moral and ethical behaviour. How do these people know there is 'absolute truth' in the scriptures?
I'm on a roll here. Statement 13 of the Christian Education Trust:
"In the beginning God created male and female. Marriage is an institution created by God in which one man and one woman enter into an exclusive relationship intended for life, and that marriage is the only form of partnership approved by God for sexual relations."
If Adam and Eve were the first humans (according to the Bible), who married them so they could have sexual relations?
When did marriage become a thing? That's right- when powerful families sold off their young daughters as property to other families to make political, economic and military alliances. Nothing about snatitty and love here
It is the whole thing about relationships being sanctioned by God, anything outside of that, you know, outside of marriage, is a "Sin".
So, God married Adam and Eve and sex was no longer a "Sin", they were sanctioned by God, attempting to make sacred babies was fine, you have to give it a good go. It was also, obviously, OK with God that their offspring should make more sacred babies, despite the fact that... Oh, whatever... Apparently it was fine back then, it was the old days.
Anything other than that is a "Sin" and, what they constantly guilt us with is that, Jesus died for our "Sins".
My nephews and niece went there from preschool on and they’re not religious in any way. My niece was so badly bullied by a teacher in year 7 or 8 that she shaved her eyebrows off and the front of her hair. We had no idea what was going on and we were really concerned. A parent who’d been doing parent help told my sister at the beginning of the next year.
Personally I’d never send any kid to any religious school. I am a product of the catholic system in the 1960s and 70s. I was pretty screwed up by that
Thanks all for your likes and comments. I’ve thought about what happened to my niece more today. I think she was 8 not 11 or 12. I think the only way she could cope was to shut down. What that meant is following what happened she really struggled at school. She didn’t have that year’s learning to build on. Her personality changed too. She went from being happy and bubbly to appearing to leave town in her head.
Bethlehem didn’t do well with any bullying. One of my nephews was accused of bullying another student. My sister’s policy was 1) you apologise to the kid you bullied, this was done by ringing them from the home phone 2) you made right out of your own money any damage to belongings 3) there were consequences at home for poor behaviour at school. So this kid who was the bully lost access to electronics, including TV for a set amount of time. This was his consequence for all sorts of things, not just the bullying incident.
My niece was bullied by some girls at school. They drew penises all over her backpack in permanent marker. When my sister contacted the parents of the bullies, they laughed at her and told her to buy a new backpack at Northbeach
That's devastating about your niece. I hope she's doing better now. I was a product of 1990s Catholic schooling and it was not very different to this at all. Right down to the checklists.
It's so exhausting to try to work through all of that stuff once you're out of it. I spent my teenage years in public school in the southern US...even though the schools were public, they don't seem all that different from your experience at BC. As you mentioned in your Flightless Bird episode on the subject, the supposed separation of church and state doesn't *really* exist in the US. The stuff they did should be illegal. And it's not like this was 20 years ago -- I graduated high school in 2015, so this was the 2010s.
They would allow a bible study to be held in the mornings before classes and bribed you with free donuts or chick-fil-a. I went to one once because I was hungry (it was worth it). They also allow youth leaders from a local church to come in once a week or so at lunch time and proselytize to the students eating lunch, making themselves comfortable, sitting down and eating with us, getting all buddy-buddy. Looking back, it's horrifically creepy to think of the school letting random adults come in to socialize with teenagers in the hopes that they will convince some of them to attend their church (think steve buscemi "how do you do, fellow kids?" meme, but churchy). Imagine if a Muslim or Jewish person tried to do that! The school would fly into a panic about brain washing etc.
While there are issues with the Satanic Temple, I'd love to see them tackle stuff like this that is clearly not ethical, and honestly probably a legal gray area as well. If TST tried to come hang with the teens during lunchtime all hell would break loose.
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
II
The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
III
One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
IV
The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
V
Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
VI
People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
VII
Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word."
Well, that sounds far better than the "Bethlehem" Statement of Belief, which I believe is bollocks but that's just me and the majority of humans. I do, however, find the Satanic reference a little off putting but then, to believe in God is to also believe in the Devil, so they brought this on themselves.
Well, the point of the Satanic Temple is not the belief in Satan. They, in fact, do *not* believe in Satan in any way other than as a symbol of rejecting arbitrary, compulsory norms of religion. As in any religious movement, there are of course different sects of people who get different things out of the organization, but TST is primarily used as a shocking way to point out hypocrisy that happens in the US, particularly when Christianity is clearly chosen as a favorite despite separation of church and state. The idea with separation is exactly the opposite, that there is *not* supposed to be a favorite -- so you either choose to teach/allow/emphasize all religions equally or you choose to remove religion entirely.
TST is basically used to show glaring issues within power structures that clearly have chosen Christianity. For example, there was a school with a Christian after-school club, but no other options. So TST set one up called "After School Satan," basically for the purpose of 1) a secular alternative and 2) show the hypocrisy (and illegality) of allowing one religion while denying another. So when the schools choose not to allow TST, TST collects the appropriate documentation and will file a civil lawsuit against the school for violating the law. It's really more about politics and law than anything.
My problem with that is it requires a certain amount of knowledge and intelligence to see that it is merely a sarcastic attempt to ridicule mainstream religion. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is far more idiot friendly. Therefore more suited to folks like me.
https://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/wellbeing/126523643/like-bodies-like-minds-i-was-a-highfunctioning-bulimic - The headboy in my day, happy he has come so far
Nice stuff, Jar.
Bethlehem College does not allow the HPV vaccine to be given at their school. They believe that teenagers being vaccinated against HPV will lead to premarital sex.
I remember our sex ed was pictures of STDs - and a message to just not have sex. Very helpful for horny teens. Totally practical, good stuff.
I’m sure it worked and *nobody* had sex until marriage. Lololol
What year was this? This is psychotic. I mean - I want to laugh and cry at the same time.
That sounds horrific. I'm so sorry you and your peers went through all that. Ugh. Completely fucked up. The horror stories can be good for those "two truths and a lie" games though. I've got a few stories that seem way too far fetched to be the truth!
What an awful place!
This makes me so angry. It's such a simple way to reduce risk of a whole heap of nasty cancer later in life. But nah, gotta prioritise toxic purity (mostly for the girls of course) over everything else. FFS.
my experience is that there was more toxic than purity. we just pretended noone else was doing it.
Yeah, it's really damaging. Like - a very practical way they've fucked up.
Super gross they are telling people to tick each of those boxes just to enrol. You and I have talked a bit about my Christian upbringing in the US, David, but for some reason this just reminds me of my terrible time in Earth Science. Where the teacher was (correctly) teaching us about the scientific origins of the Earth, but I was so indoctrinated I kept answering the exam questions the way they taught us in Sunday school, like the Earth was only 6,000 years old (LOL) and such. My fucking word am I glad I left all that shit behind. I can't pinpoint the exact moment where I was like "hmmm...nahhhhh" but whatever it was, I'm grateful.
Yeah, we did the whole 6000 years old thing too. Pretty odd stuff in hindsight.
So did I. I performed all kinds of mental gymnastics in biology and even aced the evolution section, despite at the time holding onto my indoctrination into creationism. But I found it increasingly hard to reconcile the scientific evidence with young earth creationism. Ken Ham et al claim that radio isotope dating is unreliable. But they cherry pick the evidence.
Some years ago I read a paper by the Creation Research Institute criticizing a particular radio isotope dating technique for the age of the earth. While the estimates in the early studies were highly variable, over time as the technique was refined and errors and biases corrected it became much more consistent both internally and with the result of other radioisotope techniques. As a case study of the efficacy of the scientific method in action, it was brilliant. The end result was I was more confident than ever the earth was 4.5b years old and young earth creationism was a myth, the exact opposite of what he author was trying to achieve.
Powerful stuff. “If the environment they create causes people to feel hated and excluded” seems a pretty simple tenet to follow. And if that gets too complicated, they could always, I dunno, do what the other guy who was born in Bethlehem on Christmas Day did.
I wish I'd had those words as my ending. Well said.
It’s so cringy for me to look back at my teenage years of believing and defending that bullshit. I voluntarily got involved with super evangelical groups. I studied social work and theology in college and literally remember sitting in a class, learning about some biblical heresy and thinking “this absolutely doesn’t matter.” I remember instead taking theological ethics classes (poverty, wealth and justice) and finding that much more relevant to my life. I also fit in the mold of “good christian” with a health dose of purity culture / sex-is-a-sin wrapped up in it too.
All that to say, l get the complicated feelings. I feel shame about what I used to believe, but those groups also gave me a place to belong and people that I cared deeply about. I’m 37 so this was back in the days of defining marriage as between a man and a woman. I have all kinds of complicated feelings about organized religion and identify as agnostic at best but it’s been a journey.
Thanks for sharing! I like all your reporting but feel extra special when we get a glimpse into your personal experiences.
I am 39, so similar vibes I imagine. Purity culture - oh yes. I know it well.
I did a year of religious studies at Uni - looking at Judaism, Christianity and Islam from an academic perspective. It was instrumental in allowing me to move out from under the umbrella of the 'religious' doctrine - that is pretty much pure self serving b-s. And the history of those religions are fascinating - as are the strong links and similarities. It was all about a power shift that caused the breakaway factions. Just like we have so many Christian movements now that think they have got it right and the rest are wrong. It made me permanently disrespect all religions, and their power happy bloke driven misogynist racist crap. If there is a god, it/he/she must be quietly horrified at it all, lol.
Why are religious schools still being taxpayer subsidised?
I guess for the same reason "furthering religion" is something that allows a charity to be given charitable status. All pretty weird.
I have to, once again in comments here I suspect, ask "Who said God said? Who said God instituted marriage between a man and a woman? Who said it was God's law?"
I don't think Jesus ever condemned anyone for loving another, in fact he promoted it. How his teaching gets twisted is very, very sad.
What places like this lift from the Bible - and distort - is constantly amazing to me.
Truly bizarre.
The whole point of the bible is as a document of social control, taken from selected writings of the time, by men of the early church - all of it carefully curated to keep people in line. Other writings of the time were shunned as they didn't fit the required strictures - there certainly were other accounts of Jesus' life at the time the 4 apostles (M, M, L & J) wrote theirs. So it is *literally* a book of highly curated writings, and should hold no more sway than that.
There is the Gospel of Mary, removed by the early church....which after all, consisted of men raised in the Jewish faith. Old misogynist habits die hard. No surprises there.
Yep, at *least* 2000 years of women's lives made less-than by men >:(
Maybe what they are afraid of is that if they admit it was a human (man probably) who made these 'laws' and not God, the next step is to admit that there is no god at all. Or at least no god that makes rules or intervenes in any way in the running of the universe.
Keep the worldly values of love and compassion taught by Jesus if you like.
I think what a lot of churches need to realise is that society has progressed. Slowly, but surely, humans have started challenging and changing laws that they have agreed are damaging and hurtful to people and restrictive to their capacity to live a full and authentic life. Different countries at different paces, but across the world there is some recognition, and varying levels of progress, with this.
There are massive problems with a school making parents and students sign documentation that contradicts law. Morally and ethically these views have always been awful, but now they are not supported in legal definitions either.
Values are fine. Forgiveness, service, kindness, doing the right thing. Make a nice long list of commitments aligning to that kind of stuff and get everyone to tick away. Anything that starts to seep into judgements on how you identify and present as a person and the ways you may wish to form relationships, as you are legally entitled to, absolutely not appropriate ever.
Its so disappointing that there is still so much work to do, but its heartening that there are more people taking up that challenge and bringing attention to these things still existing.
There will be a lot here for you David and its really awesome you can face into your own history again, at a minimum as a display of how change is possible, but also demonstrating how acknowledging something once is not how life works. True bravery is facing into that battle again and again, every time there is value to others that you do so. So thank you.
Thanks Beck. To be honest, writing about a lot of this stuff over the last few months has been super cathartic for me. I mean it's not a FUN thing to write about, but ya know.
I also think you're totally right: Society has progressed. And so has communication: En masse people can come together online (like, through a meme page!) and just TALK and go "this is not cool." That never really used to happen. And these ancient ideas just can't keep up. Because they're.... fucking stupid.
And also THIS: "Values are fine. Forgiveness, service, kindness, doing the right thing. Make a nice long list of commitments aligning to that kind of stuff and get everyone to tick away."
YES! DO THAT! IT'S SO MUCH MORE LOGICAL, KIND, and... dare I say it: Christ-like.
I don't think the documentation does "contradict law" though. For a long time, our laws have prioritised religious freedom over other freedoms. It is still legal for employers to discriminate on the basis of sexuality, gender identity etc, if they are religious employers. It is still legal for a minister to refuse to marry queer couples. It is still legal for schools to teach a purity doctrine. Some of our law makers are conservative Christians, or have them as friends (probably donors in some cases). Others, I think, have seen this as a compromise needed to get the laws past - like if we didn't put in an exemption for religion we might not have achieved marriage (almost) equality. The irony is that it doesn't even protect freedom of religion for all. I am part of an inclusive parish where we want to be able to fully welcome everyone and celebrate all love... but the national church has discriminatory rules - which are sanctioned by the state! It does give me hope that the Conversion Practices ban did not include a blanket exception for prayer (which the conservative Christians were lobbying for). However, it is still legal to teach homophobic/biphobic/transphobic beliefs, so long as you are not directing those at an individual and trying to make them change... Of course we know that preaching to the masses (or having someone sign something saying marriage is only meant to be between a man and a woman) is going to continue to cause harm... but by understanding is that it is not illegal. It sounds as though the school has also been directing conversion practices to individuals, which if that is continuing is now a criminal offence.
Those are some really good points and tbh you could totally be right. Because this was an actual document that required completion and adherence too I figured there would be implications based on its deviation from the definition of what can constitute a union under NZ law.
Its so odd that we allow for religious freedoms when considering the rules which govern the general population, as the freedom we are providing religious groups is often simply granting them ways to judge and condem.
But I like the sound of your church and its principles and outlook and its so nice to know that alternative practices and thinking exists within religious institutions too.
We have a state definition of marriage which is inclusive, but then the state authorizes religious organisations to solemnise marriages, and tells them they can choose not to marry some couples. We actually had some ministers in our parish go and apply to be civil celebrants, so they could keep marrying anyone and the church couldn't do anything about it (https://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/hutt-valley/9118004/Yes-ministers-open-door-to-gay-couples - and the Presbyterian church did bring in a ban after this article, and Norman still treats everyone equally and lovingly... but the website is woefully out of date sorry if anyone is trying to find a Yes minister). As for me, I think marriage has accumulated way too much baggage over the centuries. My partner and I had a celebration of our love in our church, and then we went through to the hall and did the legal civil union bit through there to symbolically keep the separation of church and state! We have no intention to "convert" our civil union to a marriage.
I could write a million words but..... just want to say that I am in awe of the person you have become in spite of / because of all this shit. I say this as a 70yo mother of 4 (wonderful) sons born between 1981 and 1990. As an atheist homeschooling family, we were surrounded by christian homeschoolers, some with extreme fundamentalist beliefs - the worst kept their distance from us 'devil's spawn' thank goodness. (Yes, that was a term used!) I am so sorry that you were treated to this shit, and so very glad you escaped and became the you that you are now.
Cally, you've gone and made me tear up. Really. Thank you.
Thing is you're not joining a school or a church, you're joining a club and it's exclusive and you have to fit a mold and tick some freaking rules.
I went to a public low decile school and it was hard enough, teenage era is just hard. But I just can't imagine having set beliefs thrown on top of my mind as well at that time.
Yeah, totally! Being a teen is hard enough to start with - your body doing all kinds of crazy stuff and the brain trying to keep up. Adding this layer of WTF to things does... not help.
It seems so cowardly that this institution would write out such a nasty small minded checklist you're required to tick like its no big deal, and then the minute they are called on it they don't have the bold audacity to stand behind their bigotry. Seems sort of pathetic and all the more cruel or manipulative. If they're going to say it and demand entire families live by it than fucking own your shit and stand by it, or even better, say sorry, you're right, we are gross and we need to really look at this. But to cowardly back pedal and manipulate their intentions....pathetic.
I feel incredibly sad that young people are still having to deal with this type of awful discrimination and are being pushed to feel less than. Im so sorry this was your experience. I was so extremely lucky with my upbringing and I am so grateful for my parents absolute laid back whatever floats your boat attitude. I think I have shared this on here before, but my babysitters in the early 80s were my mum's best friends who happened to be gay guys who had a large collection of friends in the gay community that seemed to always be hanging out at our house. I thought normal was to love whoever you wanted. Ive had attractions to men and attractions to women and Im so happy I never had to question what that meant about me. Some of my best friends are gay and when I hear what their families have put them through I feel the same heavy heart and anger I feel reading this.
On the long car journeys on weekends i spent being ferried from Mum's house to Dad's house and back we would listen to all genres of music and at 7 I would recite Lou Reed's Transformer world for word. I had no idea at the time what half of what he was singing meant but between Reed's lyrics and Mum's friends I knew being gay or bi or trans was not in any way easy because some people in the world hated you for it and would do everything they could to discriminate, belittle, abuse and deny common human decency toward you. I could NEVER comprehend why. I think this was one of the very early reasons why I developed such distaste for religion, that and all the child molestations. I watched mum lose most of her friends in the 80s to Aids and no one gave a shit but worse still it seemed like certain religions felt homosexuals were getting what they deserved. I still feel rage at this.
Shame on this school, and shame on any institution that thinks they need to tell a young person who they have to be attracted to, or who they can marry. No child should go to school and be made to feel worthless by the very institution that's meant to be helping form their minds. No one should ever have to feel the things people are made to feel every day by these fucking places. School is for learning science and maths and discovering fabulous literature and art, not control and discrimination and abuse. I hope everyone stops ticking those pathetic little boxes and they take so much heat from this they are forced to alter their ways. It's tragic you know a child that didn't make it out of there alive..... So bloody sad.
Pathetic is it - such a weak comeback: "You do you". It's the backbone of their school, and they can't even really properly get behind it in public. But in their actions... it is *everything*.
I really like the way you were raised - no doubt it wasn't all straight forward, but it seems like you had a really open minded, wonderful start. Helps explain why you are such a delight now!
These special character schools have made me uneasy for a while. They're Integrated schools, and thus publicly-funded. This document demonstrates they can do whatever they like, and claim it under special character. So many of them are just Christian schools, of whatever flavour. It's like a free pass to sit outside our education system.
I'm on a school board. Under the Education and Training Act 2020, a board’s primary objective is to "ensure that every student at the school is able to attain their highest possible standard in educational achievement." Call me crazy, but I don't think this can happen when you're undermining and invalidating the very identity of some of your students. If a board has lost sight of that goal, they're not functioning.
I looked up Bethlehem and I see there was a notice in the Education Gazette in 2020, saying they had been granted a "supplementary integration agreement," but not what that agreement says. I don't see how they can be approved to teach (indoctrinate) things which directly contravene NZ law.
I met a few BS alumni when I was at Massey University, and they were all very straight-laced Christians.
"Call me crazy, but I don't think this can happen when you're undermining and invalidating the very identity of some of your students."
This, this, this.
Thanks for these posts about integrated schools and what that means - I didn't go into that at all here, so appreciate you filling it in here. Any more clarity on the supplementary integration in the future, please come back and post about it here. I always keep an eye on the comments.
It turns out all this stuff is published on the MoE site, under information releases.
https://www.education.govt.nz/our-work/information-releases/issue-specific-releases/integration-agreements-for-state-integrated-schools/integration-agreements-for-state-integrated-schools-a-b/#Bethlehem
There's also a statement of special character on the school's website, including the tick box statement of belief.
You can also view the school’s Charter on its website. This thing is *forty-nine* pages long. (A Charter outlines the strategic direction for the board.) It includes these gems:
5. Biblical Christian worldview will be more than a philosophical concept to be intellectually accepted, but will reflected in a lifestyle lived in obedience to God's Word and will affect all of life for the student.
6. Acceptance of the existence of free will, with all its attendant responsibilities, will help prevent indoctrination at Bethlehem College where the goal is education. This is worked out in such a way that students will be challenged and even provoked to consider a Godly lifestyle but 'free' to choose otherwise.
Looks like a contradiction to me.
"It's like a free pass to sit outside our education system." Yeah, it is. We give religious organisations a bunch of free passes. Free pass to discriminate when employing people. Free pass to teach kids an alternative reality. Free pass for taxes. We recently took away their free pass to try and change an individual person's sexuality/gender identity through prayer or counseling or other practices. They're probably freaking out because they're used to getting a free pass. As for "how they can be approved to teach (indoctrinate) things which directly contravene NZ law"? I'm not sure which bit you are thinking is outside NZ law. They can't have teachers carrying out conversion practices on individuals - that would be an illegal conversion practice now. Can they teach that they believe the bible says that marriage is meant to be between one man and one woman? Yes, they can. Never mind that that's not even what the Bible says...
I was referring to the marriage bit, because while they may "believe" marriage is only between a man and a woman, that isn't the legal scope of it in NZ. I wasn't referencing conversion practices.
Right. But the law basically sets it out as a legal and religious institution. It defines who can access the legal bit, and it also authorises a bunch of religious organisation to carry out the legal bit according to their beliefs about what marriage is and who can access it. So different beliefs about marriage kind of are in the legal scope.
I'm going to just disagree with you. In NZ, the law is broader than just man and woman, and you can't just decide to say it's only for a man and a woman, and you can't teach your students that it's only for a man and a woman. Which David pointed out in this newsletter.
Ah, ok, I've seen David's update now. But it still seems like the legal issue isn't so much what the statement is, but that they didn't follow due process with updating it. I will be very happy to be proven wrong if they really are told they can't put it in.
Just to be clear, I don't think they should be teaching students this, and I think it's very harmful. I'm just pointing out that discrimination, and the teaching of harmful beliefs and prejudice, is sanctioned in various ways under NZ law. So they shouldn't teach this, but currently, it seems like they still can legally do so, because supposedly people are going there voluntarily because they agree with the "special character." Of course kids don't usually get to choose not to go if their parents want them to, and there's a bunch of other stuff that makes it complicated and not really "freedom." I hope things will change with public pressure and student activism. And of course journalists like David bringing this stuff to light is important, so the public can be aware and make it clear we are not ok with it continuing.
I just checked some more. The values of the Christian Education Trust are:
Love and loyalty to God
Love and care for others
Absolute truth of Scripture
Faith and prayer
Honesty and integrity
Service and humility
Wisdom and responsibility
Peace and forgiveness.
Love and care for others? Peace and forgiveness? Honesty and integrity? Going by some of the comments people have posted, the school's practices in many cases appear to fall far short of this.
I thought the Bible was largely metaphor for the human condition, with stories intended to demonstrate both goodness and badness and therefore point to moral and ethical behaviour. How do these people know there is 'absolute truth' in the scriptures?
I'm on a roll here. Statement 13 of the Christian Education Trust:
"In the beginning God created male and female. Marriage is an institution created by God in which one man and one woman enter into an exclusive relationship intended for life, and that marriage is the only form of partnership approved by God for sexual relations."
If Adam and Eve were the first humans (according to the Bible), who married them so they could have sexual relations?
When did marriage become a thing? That's right- when powerful families sold off their young daughters as property to other families to make political, economic and military alliances. Nothing about snatitty and love here
This got me wondering married Adam and Eve? If they were the first people on earth...?
It is the whole thing about relationships being sanctioned by God, anything outside of that, you know, outside of marriage, is a "Sin".
So, God married Adam and Eve and sex was no longer a "Sin", they were sanctioned by God, attempting to make sacred babies was fine, you have to give it a good go. It was also, obviously, OK with God that their offspring should make more sacred babies, despite the fact that... Oh, whatever... Apparently it was fine back then, it was the old days.
Anything other than that is a "Sin" and, what they constantly guilt us with is that, Jesus died for our "Sins".
I’m really glad I was allowed to be a horny teenager, free from too much guilt.
My nephews and niece went there from preschool on and they’re not religious in any way. My niece was so badly bullied by a teacher in year 7 or 8 that she shaved her eyebrows off and the front of her hair. We had no idea what was going on and we were really concerned. A parent who’d been doing parent help told my sister at the beginning of the next year.
Personally I’d never send any kid to any religious school. I am a product of the catholic system in the 1960s and 70s. I was pretty screwed up by that
Thanks all for your likes and comments. I’ve thought about what happened to my niece more today. I think she was 8 not 11 or 12. I think the only way she could cope was to shut down. What that meant is following what happened she really struggled at school. She didn’t have that year’s learning to build on. Her personality changed too. She went from being happy and bubbly to appearing to leave town in her head.
Bethlehem didn’t do well with any bullying. One of my nephews was accused of bullying another student. My sister’s policy was 1) you apologise to the kid you bullied, this was done by ringing them from the home phone 2) you made right out of your own money any damage to belongings 3) there were consequences at home for poor behaviour at school. So this kid who was the bully lost access to electronics, including TV for a set amount of time. This was his consequence for all sorts of things, not just the bullying incident.
My niece was bullied by some girls at school. They drew penises all over her backpack in permanent marker. When my sister contacted the parents of the bullies, they laughed at her and told her to buy a new backpack at Northbeach
Ugh I am so sorry for your niece. I hate this.
That's devastating about your niece. I hope she's doing better now. I was a product of 1990s Catholic schooling and it was not very different to this at all. Right down to the checklists.
It's so exhausting to try to work through all of that stuff once you're out of it. I spent my teenage years in public school in the southern US...even though the schools were public, they don't seem all that different from your experience at BC. As you mentioned in your Flightless Bird episode on the subject, the supposed separation of church and state doesn't *really* exist in the US. The stuff they did should be illegal. And it's not like this was 20 years ago -- I graduated high school in 2015, so this was the 2010s.
They would allow a bible study to be held in the mornings before classes and bribed you with free donuts or chick-fil-a. I went to one once because I was hungry (it was worth it). They also allow youth leaders from a local church to come in once a week or so at lunch time and proselytize to the students eating lunch, making themselves comfortable, sitting down and eating with us, getting all buddy-buddy. Looking back, it's horrifically creepy to think of the school letting random adults come in to socialize with teenagers in the hopes that they will convince some of them to attend their church (think steve buscemi "how do you do, fellow kids?" meme, but churchy). Imagine if a Muslim or Jewish person tried to do that! The school would fly into a panic about brain washing etc.
While there are issues with the Satanic Temple, I'd love to see them tackle stuff like this that is clearly not ethical, and honestly probably a legal gray area as well. If TST tried to come hang with the teens during lunchtime all hell would break loose.
"While there are issues with the Satanic Temple"
Is that even a thing?
OMFG, it exists...
https://thesatanictemple.com/pages/about-us
"There are Seven
FUNDAMENTAL TENETS...
I
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
II
The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
III
One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
IV
The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
V
Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
VI
People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
VII
Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word."
Well, that sounds far better than the "Bethlehem" Statement of Belief, which I believe is bollocks but that's just me and the majority of humans. I do, however, find the Satanic reference a little off putting but then, to believe in God is to also believe in the Devil, so they brought this on themselves.
Well, the point of the Satanic Temple is not the belief in Satan. They, in fact, do *not* believe in Satan in any way other than as a symbol of rejecting arbitrary, compulsory norms of religion. As in any religious movement, there are of course different sects of people who get different things out of the organization, but TST is primarily used as a shocking way to point out hypocrisy that happens in the US, particularly when Christianity is clearly chosen as a favorite despite separation of church and state. The idea with separation is exactly the opposite, that there is *not* supposed to be a favorite -- so you either choose to teach/allow/emphasize all religions equally or you choose to remove religion entirely.
TST is basically used to show glaring issues within power structures that clearly have chosen Christianity. For example, there was a school with a Christian after-school club, but no other options. So TST set one up called "After School Satan," basically for the purpose of 1) a secular alternative and 2) show the hypocrisy (and illegality) of allowing one religion while denying another. So when the schools choose not to allow TST, TST collects the appropriate documentation and will file a civil lawsuit against the school for violating the law. It's really more about politics and law than anything.
My problem with that is it requires a certain amount of knowledge and intelligence to see that it is merely a sarcastic attempt to ridicule mainstream religion. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is far more idiot friendly. Therefore more suited to folks like me.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster