Hi,
As giant, mind-bending things continue to happen around us, today’s Webworm is a very small story from Hayden Donnell — which I have also read out for you if you want to give your sleepy eyes a rest.
But first:
As expected, the discussion from Worms going on under “A Fist, an American Flag, and Fire” has made me feel more sane.
“It’s exactly what you would expect: senior people breaching the rules while being utterly incompetent. Which about sums up the USA right now,” responded Siouxsie Wiles.
“That mix of brazen boldness and incompetence we see in some authoritarian figures isn’t just random, it’s psychological,” said Webworm’s resident therapist Paul Wilson — who continued:
“Karen Stenner’s work shows that some people have a low tolerance for complexity and uncertainty. They want clear rules, strong leaders, and quick answers. When things feel chaotic, they’ll back anyone who looks like they’re in charge, even if that person is reckless.
Add narcissism to the mix and it gets worse. Narcissists tend to think they’re smarter than everyone else, ignore advice, and reject rules they don’t like. They act with total confidence, even when they’re out of their depth. And to their followers, that swagger can look like strength.
Breaking norms isn’t a mistake in this worldview - it’s the point. It’s a way to show dominance and say, “I don’t have to play by your rules.” The danger is, that mindset doesn’t just ignore good governance. It bulldozes right through it.”
Simon Green also had thoughts: “The only thing the rich would be good for would be a liver pate, a Soylent Gras, if you will. As I am not a fan of the normal foie gras, I don't think I could do it. However, rendering them down for jet fuel seems like a sustainable solution to two problems at once.”
As usual, if you have a moment — I suggest reading through the comments if you haven’t, and joining in. Best comments section on the internet:
As I’m sure you’re aware of by now, Trump’s administration responded to the reported leaked Yemen attack plans by simply denying any of it happened. “Nobody was texting war plans,” said US Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.
“You’re talking about a deceitful and highly discredited so-called journalist who’s made a profession of peddling hoaxes,” the defense secretary told Fox News.
The Atlantic responded by publishing the (former) classified plans of the attack.
I’m not sure what would have been more effective: The Atlantic taking the step to publish the full plans in their first piece (for whatever reason they chose not to, I imagine nervous about the consequences) — or to hold back, get the denial, then follow it up with a second piece going: “It wasn’t a hoax, here are all the full attack plans we got texted by accident.”
In other horrific American news, it turns out national security adviser Mike Waltz is the brother-in-law of Creed frontman Scott Stapp, a Webworm favourite:
And a Police Chief in Hudson County, New Jersey, has been accused of assaulting and harassing fellow police by shitting on floors, exposing himself, shaving his back in the office, and “sticking a hypodermic needle into an officer’s penis.”
With all that taken care of — it’s time for a story from a small, quiet suburb in New Zealand.
It’s a mystery without an answer, revealing how humans seeking the truth (and retribution) sometimes arrive at the wrong conclusion.
David.
“Every few months, everything dies”
Something is killing the birds in a sleepy Auckland suburb. The locals are on a witch hunt.
by Hayden Donnell.
Alexandria Edwards was playing Pokemon Go in her car when she saw the sparrows. Dozens of them were strewn in various states of stupor on the grass nearby. Some had passed out. Others were struggling and failing to fly. Magpies were swooping at the ones who couldn’t get away. She got out to shoo the bigger birds.
Help arrived promptly. A call had gone out on the local Facebook community page. Come down, it said. The birds have been poisoned again.
It wasn’t the first time Edwards had found collapsed birds at the Browns Bay village green north of Auckland. “Every few months, everything dies,” she says. It’s not just sparrows. She once watched a child trying to shelter a sick duck from the rain. “Its head was bobbing around and was so sick and he was trying to help and you could tell this little boy knew the duck was dying.”
Search Facebook, and you’ll find a procession of these reports.
“Just pulled over and these birds are not well! Potential poison? Anyone around who can help?,” says one from October last year. “Went to the park about an hour ago to give oats and grapes to the birds and saw two seemingly dead on the concrete. Before you know it there were 35+ dead ducks and pigeons scattered around the park. Someone from the council showed up but it was absolutely heartbreaking watching them wobble around and slowly die,” says another from January 26.
The notices start to take on an air of grim resignation. “Just a heads up. There’s a bunch of dying birds, pigeons and ducks in Browns Bay again. Mainly around the library/village green area. I won’t include photos as it's quite sad and graphic,” writes a local on February 12.
No-one knows for sure what’s killing the birds, but there are theories. Some people thought it might be botulism linked to decaying plant matter in a pond in the village green. Auckland Council tested the water. It didn’t find any problems. The pond has been drained and refilled.
Others blame poison. Virginia Nicol, a bird rescuer, has twice answered calls to pick up sick sparrows and pigeons on the village green. She believes alpha-chloro-lose is the likely culprit. Even in small concentrations, it anaesthetises birds, rendering them helpless and immobile.
It’s legal in New Zealand so long as those using it take steps to only target pest species and make sure they collect any birds that ingest the poison. Non-nuisance birds are meant to be revived. Nicol says that’s not happening in Browns Bay. “I don’t agree with it at all but that’s what’s deemed to be the proper use of the substance. But these birds are just being left out to die.”
Some locals see the work of a serial sparrow killer in the potential poisonings. They connect the string of recent incidents to a mass bird poisoning at the nearby Sherwood Reserve in January last year, where around 100 ducks, pūkeko, and sparrows were found dead, paralysed, or stupified.
In that case, people posting on the community page blamed it on a local woman with mental health issues who was seen near the reserve around the same time. The accusations took on a feverish tenor. “Next she will target pets and then what next? People?” says one post.
Since then, people have regularly reported the woman’s movements. Someone posted her address on Facebook. Hibiscus and Bays local board chairperson Alexis Poppelbaum is saddened at the venom directed at the woman, who she says is troubled and likely not capable of carrying out a large-scale bird poisoning operation across Browns Bay. “It was a pretty horrible time,” she says. “Our community is pretty awesome but that was a bit disappointing.”
Despite the vitriol, there’s never been hard evidence this woman is killing birds. Recently one dead duck from the village green was sent to the Ministry of Primary Industries for testing. It didn’t find any poison in its system. Even if poison is responsible, there are other potential suspects.
Nicol wonders whether one of the numerous nearby restaurants might have become sick of pigeons clucking and crapping their way across their forecourt and taken steps to put a stop to the problem. Poppelbaum thinks a frustrated neighbour may have been behind the mass pigeon poisoning in Sherwood. “You’d think it would be someone on the outskirts of the park.”
If someone wanted to get the birds away from their property, they can declare mission accomplished. Go to the village green today, and you’ll encounter an eerie silence. The ducks that once populated the pond have gone. On a recent visit, the only trace of birdlife in the area was a single pigeon corpse.
Meanwhile, the killings are starting to spread. On March 22, someone reported what looked like blue bait outside a sports bar abutting the park. “Thought I’d just put it out there to be careful of your pets when going on walks near the village green,” their post says.
So far, one woman has been punished for the poisonings. The community continues to monitor her whereabouts. The culprit remains at large, and it looks like they’re on the move.
-Hayden Donnell.
Hayden Donnell's Columns
Hi, I love it when Hayden writes here. He went to journalism school with me, and it annoys me how good a writer he is.
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