Hey all, thanks for the thoughtful reaction to this piece so far. It's always fraught putting these things out into the world, especially when they deal with beliefs that were a big part of your life (I grew up a Christian Zionist) and when they also talk about such terrible real-world conflict.
I wanted to share a note I got from my aunt - a wonderful Christian woman. She'd originally thought to post it here but she doesn't have a sub. She sent it to me today and I said I'd post it here for her:
***
Great piece of writing Josh re Israel/Palestine and deadbeat Peter Mortlock. Never have liked the man. Grandad was a dedicated supporter of Palestine and its people. Like myself and many others, as you say, we believe in the attitudes which you quoted at the end of your article, and hate the greed, destruction and sense of entitlement that these 'special Christians' recognise as being justified destruction for others and sanctification themselves.
I think your article is powerful.
I've heard even Christians saying they re worried that they don't feel good enough to be Raptured and are madly trying to be 'better Christians' which I find amusing since God says none are without sin and to 'Come as you are'
Such a weird world. Love you guys.
***
Josh here again. It's so important to remember that a huge number of Christians believe in a Jesus who preached peace. I was particularly touched by my aunt mentioning my Granddad, who I loved and respected very much. The New Internationalist magazines he had at his house, which I always read, and my conversations with him when he was alive had a big impact on how I saw Palestine, and the world in general.
Nov 11, 2023·edited Nov 11, 2023Liked by David Farrier
My Māmā would be 102yo now but she too was a New Internationalist reader and was a Trade Aid stalwart volunteer from its early foundations. She was a social justice fighter and it was a big influence on me.
Your aunt is the type of person I loved speaking with when I attended church. Someone who kept their feet firmly on the ground with the realities of life while still sharing that love and hope that the Christian faith at its best is all about. Thanks for sharing this note 😊
This is the mindset of the people in the environment in which I grew up (not my family but the private Christian school and the churches I attended). It also alleviates them of any kind of burden to do anything about the suffering of others because why would they? It’s all been prophesied and inevitable. It’s why so many evangelicals are also climate change deniers. Who cares if the world is on fire if Jesus is coming to snap you up?
There’s nothing scarier as a kid than thinking all this is about to go down any minute. I remember when one of the Middle East leaders was assassinated in the 90’s and I could not go to sleep that night because I was waiting for the trumpet to sound... but enough about my childhood trauma.
oh the 90s, jack van impe on TV every weekend breaking down the news into end times revelation... 😳 a lot of new age-y end times stuff too, and scary Nostradamus TV specials
Alannah, I completely understand your comments about the childhood trauma! I remember the sheer panic I felt on NYE, entering into the year 2000 as it had been "prophesied" that this would mean the return of the lord. I listened out all night for trumpets, in absolute fear. Yikes!
I used to work with a guy 20 odd years ago that was a Brethren. Not an Exclusive Brethren, he thought those guys were weird.
20 years ago there was quite the war going on in Afghanistan and Iraq, and he referred to it as "...all very exciting." He genuinely hoped that the rapture was coming. He was just waiting for the nukes to start flying and for untold quantities of non believers to be burned alive.
He said it was sad that there were people being killed, but he also said that this was their chance to take the Lord into their hearts. Their chance to be on the right side of what he hoped was the coming final judgement.
When I pointed out that a lot of people were dying as 'collateral damage' in a war they never wanted, he said that if they were good God fearing Christians, then their death didn't matter as they would now be in their true home in the afterlife.
He couldn't see the true value of human life. To him, and I'm sure a lot more, this life is only a stepping stone to their final destination - heaven. He would try his best to be a good person, but ultimately it was up to God on how this world would play out. If we suffer on the way through, no problem as this is only the waiting room.
This has always been the biggest concern of mine when it comes to religion - fundamentalism. That there are so many that would kill and die for their God is proper scary. Whether it's a suicide bomber, or a politician that lets a mother die in childbirth, in their eyes it doesn't matter as it's all part of God's plan.
Agree - my Dad used to rub his hands together excitedly and say "things are hotting up in the middle east", as he believed that war would bring us closer to the return of the lord. Absolutely bonkers
Exactly, that uniquely Christian callousness towards human suffering comes when they believe life on Earth is seen as "a dressing room for Eternity, that's all"...
they would also let our mother earth suffer and die because they would rather be somewhere else. who started all of those middle eastern religions anyway?
Fuck, I want to see this thing! Do you mind emailing? May include it in a future newsletter - take a selfie, maybe? How close can you get? Holy shit! You know where to find me! davidfarrier@protonmail.com
Fark - I just landed in San Fran!!! I’ll see if the husband will take a pic of her (he may refuse the selfie though)! I thought about grabbing a pic before I left the farm yesterday but travel anxiety took over.
If you're San Fran for the APEC conference, you should show President Biden a photo of your Rapture Cow - you could singlehandedly stop the war and bring peace to the East. That's a heavy burden for you & Rapture Cow
Thank you so much Josh. As an ex preacher of all that I recognised it all. Thanks for the humorous touches that lighten the load a little. And such a beautiful end note quoting actual Jesus. Blessed indeed be the peacemakers.
World is ending, predictions of misery and horror coming true. Must act now, God wants you to reduce emissions and fulfil the holy Paris Agreement. People with a Ford Ranger Wildtrak X don't get into heaven.
On the one hand, I *really* did not want a detailed reminder of these psychotic beliefs. I grew up surrounded by this type of awful thinking.
But thank you both for this newsletter. More people need awareness of the various foundational beliefs behind the support of the Israeli state’s genocide of Palestinians.
This was a great piece. I feel sick, but more informed than I've ever been about Christian Zionist beliefs. I can't wrap my head around it. To be that bloodthirsty and believe that's what a "loving" god wants. I grew up Catholic but I'm 100% Atheist now. Nothing about religion makes any sense to me now.
And I know there are tons and tons of amazing people who are religious. I just can't believe any of it anymore. Especially when it celebrates something this horrific.
I know a lot of people have been afraid to speak out against what Israel is doing for fear of being called antisemitic. Now I realize a lot of the people supporting Israel are ironically antisemitic themselves..
It's interesting watching the pandemic conspiracy folks, belief gymnastics as they 'rebrand' to other conspiracies now COVID no longer gets the media impact they crave.
Thanks David, an interesting, if disturbing read. There are some insane things being said at the moment, juxtaposed against the reality of what's happening in Gaza they are just grotesque.
I wrote a newsletter this week on the old adage of truth being the first casualty of war, primarily about people, from all around the world, being labelled as anti semitic because they are asking for a ceasefire. It's free here if anyone would like to have a read:
It all sounds a lot like Biblical fan fiction these days. Its dangerously in the hands of those wielding a little too much influence on the vulnerable and predisposed.
I see the Bible more of a socio- historical document. People do give it more weight and influence than it should have, much like certain parts of Constitution ("Right to bear arms" I'm looking at you) ;)
All of my adolescent/teen years were spent in an organization similar to this.
I got to witness full evangelical Christian nonsense during the height of the y2k panic. I remember very vividly being 16 and standing in line to load into the choir box and listening to the women behind having a conversation where one of them said "I need to renew my license but I don't think I will because we're not gonna be here in another 5 years for it to matter". She thought because the RAPTURE was going to happen that she wouldn't need to renew her license. Its this same belief thay many evangelicals use to justify not doing anything about climate change, social issues, etc. And that's the mindset I spent most of my time around during my formative years. I am *still* overcoming it to this day at 40.
It's so hard to see these events and not be triggered by feelings of the fear of "is this really it?" My brain automatically goes there and I hate it. It makes watching these awful events unfolding far worse. It doesn't help that my parents who are avid church goers still believe this is the end times. Now they're not rejoicing in the lives lost or extreme violence or anything, but I know they're eagerly anticipating the arrival of Christ so their suffering will be over. "Theirs" meaning my parents not the people *actually* suffering at the hands of violence.
I'm happy to not be a part of it anymore. But the damage of this kind of teaching lasts forever it seems 😪.
I totally get being triggered by this stuff. It took two goes to read the article, even though I've been out of my own Bible based doomsday cult for more than 30 years and I am still triggered at times.
I remember the sheer panic I felt on NYE, entering into the year 2000 as it had been "prophesied" that this would mean the return of the lord. I listened out all night for trumpets, in absolute fear. Yikes!
I agree that it is so hard to let go of the damage that growing up with this kind of thinking has done. Your comment: It's so hard to see these events and not be triggered by feelings of the fear of "is this really it?"
I really resonate with this. I can't stop my mind from going there, and thinking "what if I'm actually wrong, and the world is going to end"? Do you think the damage is lifelong, or is it possible to untangle from this sort of thinking?
I remember I was home with my mom waiting for the ball to drop in complete silence. Afraid, worried about what was gonna happen next. And then.....nothing. Crickets. And I think that's the moment whenni realized this was not the life I wanted.
I think the only way out of something like this and coping with it is a good therapist and a strong support system. It's important to have people around you that will see you and hear you and not discredit your concerns and fears. They can do all that and then nap you back to reality. It's so so important to have good people around. Even finding a community like this here on Webworm, is such a huge help. David's created such a wonderful little atmosphere here for people like us to feel safe in :).
That triggering of ‘is this really it’ is so weird and annoying. I get that and then there’s the slight panic that comes back with the thoughts of how ‘I’m not good enough’. Such lame and damaging thinking. Glad to be able to see it a bit more objectively now.
Honestly the last month has been some of the most despairing moments of my life. Nothing else seems relevant right now. My heart breaks for everyone in Palestine. This is a massacre built on western imperialism and the dehumanisation of the Middle East and I will never ever forget how our leaders and institutions do *NOT* serve us in any way.
I watched a video of a child with his femur poking out of his leg yesterday. He wasn’t crying. No tears left. I don’t know how anyone could watch videos like this and not die inside.
The only hope now is the power of the masses. Beautiful Auckland wormies - see you at Aotea square 2pm Sunday.
Thanks for sharing so much all the time over on your social media, CD. Hope it's not causing you too much angst in your DMs, and your day-to-day. Keep going.
The thing about not being famous is that people have the decency to just unfollow you silently instead of giving you angst. Anyway... what is my angst compared to what’s happening in Gaza. Nothing. Thanks for using your platform too DF x
Fantastic piece, thank you Josh! Great job accurately explaining the mouthful that is 'premillennial dispensationalist eschatology'. Like others here, I grew up beneath the boot of Christian Zionism in various NZ evangelical churches. I have since left that harmful fucking childhood mindset far behind and these days try to follow a gentler, wilder Christ outside (many) church walls. Easy to spot parallels between Qanon and Christian end times cult conspiracy theories when there are people fully believing they'll be trundling out archaic guillotines to behead Christians and you've watched others trundle out wooden noose contraptions at Trump political rallies. Didn't know there was a worldwide venture to breed perfect red heifers!
I grew up in a very exclusive and conservative lay church which shared these intensely Christian Zionist views. Every week from the pulpit you'd hear someone talking about how "the Jews are God's chosen people - but they need to be brought to Jesus", while generally glossing over the process through which that happens. Anytime there is war in the Middle East you'd see a spark in their eye and the phrase "these are truly the last days" would pepper casual conversation. It took making a Palestinian friend at uni and studying colonialism for my views on Israel to flip.
Nov 11, 2023·edited Nov 11, 2023Liked by David Farrier
I grew up with all the predictions of mass destruction and death that Mortlock was repeating, but with my Doomsday Cult own particular spin on the tribulation. Woe unto the world for time, times and half a time and modern day Israel (the UK and Great Britain were believed to be the descendants of Ephraim and Manasseh). It was terrifying for a child, for it was drummed into us that it would happen very soon. All my friends and family members would be obliterated in a nuclear winter beyond comprehension. But we would be saved if only we held true to what we were taught. It seems incomprehensible to me now but I was indoctrinated to believe that God show will show his love by inflicting such horrible death and suffering upon billions of people. My older self looks back on this in horror it sees it as but one of the many forms of abuse we suffered as a second generation cult survivor.
Really, really glad you're out of it. I dunno about you, but I find elements of certain ideas still stuck below the surface. Like, on a bad day - or if I'm really out of it (just waking up, say) - the idea that maybe, just maybe, hell is real comes pushing back in. These concepts and ideas and worries bury deep.
I’ve been in a brittle, dark mood for a few days now and it wasn’t until yesterday (I can be very slow) that I realised it was a reaction to swimming in this particularly polluted sea. Not that I regret writing the article at all, it’s just that feeling those old neural pathways light up again was distressing. Add the endless awful news coming from Gaza and you’ve got a recipe for a bad time. To all the ex-fundamentalists who felt upset by this article, solidarity. I hope you find a bit of space to process those feelings. (I’m about to head out to the gym, which can be a pretty helpful way of dealing with it.)
Thanks for writing. Truth telling isn't without cost but the cost of not telling the truth is orders of magnitude greater.
I told some of my storing recently in a Living Books programme. The psychological effects of growing up in this cesspool still affects me but I have great support whch keeps me gong.
Hey all, thanks for the thoughtful reaction to this piece so far. It's always fraught putting these things out into the world, especially when they deal with beliefs that were a big part of your life (I grew up a Christian Zionist) and when they also talk about such terrible real-world conflict.
I wanted to share a note I got from my aunt - a wonderful Christian woman. She'd originally thought to post it here but she doesn't have a sub. She sent it to me today and I said I'd post it here for her:
***
Great piece of writing Josh re Israel/Palestine and deadbeat Peter Mortlock. Never have liked the man. Grandad was a dedicated supporter of Palestine and its people. Like myself and many others, as you say, we believe in the attitudes which you quoted at the end of your article, and hate the greed, destruction and sense of entitlement that these 'special Christians' recognise as being justified destruction for others and sanctification themselves.
I think your article is powerful.
I've heard even Christians saying they re worried that they don't feel good enough to be Raptured and are madly trying to be 'better Christians' which I find amusing since God says none are without sin and to 'Come as you are'
Such a weird world. Love you guys.
***
Josh here again. It's so important to remember that a huge number of Christians believe in a Jesus who preached peace. I was particularly touched by my aunt mentioning my Granddad, who I loved and respected very much. The New Internationalist magazines he had at his house, which I always read, and my conversations with him when he was alive had a big impact on how I saw Palestine, and the world in general.
You have one very A+ aunt. Thanks for posting, and I will keep this pinned!
My Māmā would be 102yo now but she too was a New Internationalist reader and was a Trade Aid stalwart volunteer from its early foundations. She was a social justice fighter and it was a big influence on me.
Good on your aunt. Keeping people madly trying to be better Christians is a really effective way of controlling congregants
Your aunt is the type of person I loved speaking with when I attended church. Someone who kept their feet firmly on the ground with the realities of life while still sharing that love and hope that the Christian faith at its best is all about. Thanks for sharing this note 😊
New Internationalist! That just made my heart skip! I was once subscribed and very devoted, before I moved to NZ. I forgot all about that magazine.
This is the mindset of the people in the environment in which I grew up (not my family but the private Christian school and the churches I attended). It also alleviates them of any kind of burden to do anything about the suffering of others because why would they? It’s all been prophesied and inevitable. It’s why so many evangelicals are also climate change deniers. Who cares if the world is on fire if Jesus is coming to snap you up?
There’s nothing scarier as a kid than thinking all this is about to go down any minute. I remember when one of the Middle East leaders was assassinated in the 90’s and I could not go to sleep that night because I was waiting for the trumpet to sound... but enough about my childhood trauma.
Such a weird thing to tell your kids, right?
"THE WORLD COULD END AT ANY MOMENT but here, go and have a good life! God loves you!"
And that fuckin' trumpet!
But don’t worry, Jesus is going to abduct you alien style and take you to a shiny palace in the sky! Bonkers
Science tells you the world could end at any moment too* but is good enough to also say how unlikely it is to happen in your lifetime.
* Death From The Skies · George Hrab and Astronomer Phil Plait
https://youtu.be/PM4zNaNJ9bc?si=xseqglnFG4l2ZPZx
oh the 90s, jack van impe on TV every weekend breaking down the news into end times revelation... 😳 a lot of new age-y end times stuff too, and scary Nostradamus TV specials
Omg those Nostradamus specials were something else
Alannah, I completely understand your comments about the childhood trauma! I remember the sheer panic I felt on NYE, entering into the year 2000 as it had been "prophesied" that this would mean the return of the lord. I listened out all night for trumpets, in absolute fear. Yikes!
I used to work with a guy 20 odd years ago that was a Brethren. Not an Exclusive Brethren, he thought those guys were weird.
20 years ago there was quite the war going on in Afghanistan and Iraq, and he referred to it as "...all very exciting." He genuinely hoped that the rapture was coming. He was just waiting for the nukes to start flying and for untold quantities of non believers to be burned alive.
He said it was sad that there were people being killed, but he also said that this was their chance to take the Lord into their hearts. Their chance to be on the right side of what he hoped was the coming final judgement.
When I pointed out that a lot of people were dying as 'collateral damage' in a war they never wanted, he said that if they were good God fearing Christians, then their death didn't matter as they would now be in their true home in the afterlife.
He couldn't see the true value of human life. To him, and I'm sure a lot more, this life is only a stepping stone to their final destination - heaven. He would try his best to be a good person, but ultimately it was up to God on how this world would play out. If we suffer on the way through, no problem as this is only the waiting room.
This has always been the biggest concern of mine when it comes to religion - fundamentalism. That there are so many that would kill and die for their God is proper scary. Whether it's a suicide bomber, or a politician that lets a mother die in childbirth, in their eyes it doesn't matter as it's all part of God's plan.
"All very exciting." That's the mentality. I think some of these types keep that particular thought to themselves - but they're thinking it.
Ugh.
Agree - my Dad used to rub his hands together excitedly and say "things are hotting up in the middle east", as he believed that war would bring us closer to the return of the lord. Absolutely bonkers
Exactly, that uniquely Christian callousness towards human suffering comes when they believe life on Earth is seen as "a dressing room for Eternity, that's all"...
And, of course, those so willing to see people suffering aren't the ones who are being bombed out of their homes.
Exactly! Far removed from bone-crushing reality
This is chilling. It's mental gymnastics, taking the moral high ground while failing to act on the values you profess.
they would also let our mother earth suffer and die because they would rather be somewhere else. who started all of those middle eastern religions anyway?
I have a perfectly ginger heifer that’s never been yoked (seriously)! I’ll trade it for a ceasefire and Netanyahu getting prosecuted as war criminal.
You may have a very expensive cow right there!
Fuck, I want to see this thing! Do you mind emailing? May include it in a future newsletter - take a selfie, maybe? How close can you get? Holy shit! You know where to find me! davidfarrier@protonmail.com
Ok David my husband came through - check your inbox for our RAPTURE COW!!!
Rapture cows, woohoooo! I'm excited for whatever David ends up writing about in order to include this photo for the rest of us.
Fark - I just landed in San Fran!!! I’ll see if the husband will take a pic of her (he may refuse the selfie though)! I thought about grabbing a pic before I left the farm yesterday but travel anxiety took over.
If you're San Fran for the APEC conference, you should show President Biden a photo of your Rapture Cow - you could singlehandedly stop the war and bring peace to the East. That's a heavy burden for you & Rapture Cow
Not for APEC unfortunately (BECC conference)!
Thank you so much Josh. As an ex preacher of all that I recognised it all. Thanks for the humorous touches that lighten the load a little. And such a beautiful end note quoting actual Jesus. Blessed indeed be the peacemakers.
World is ending, predictions of misery and horror coming true. Must act now, God wants you to reduce emissions and fulfil the holy Paris Agreement. People with a Ford Ranger Wildtrak X don't get into heaven.
I’m going to nervously share my poem
War & Peace
Jesus is a pacifist
When surrounded by evil power-mongers
He could have taken up weapons
But he said “Love your enemies”
He could have used counter-intelligence
To thwart the betrayers kiss
But he turned his cheek
When falsely accused, ridiculed, mocked
He could have used brilliant oratory
But he refused to answer
He could have employed some MMA
When the thorny crown pierced him
But he lowered his head
When he was dragged before the governor
He could have hired an assassin
But he emptied himself of power
He could have ordered an angelic drone-strike
When they laid him on that cross
But he surrendered to the nails
When he rose from the dead
He could have retaliated with a war on terror
But he forgave his enemies
Jesus is a pacifist
The light shines in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it Jn 1:5
Thank you Sue. Beautiful.
That is lovely Sue
Sue that was beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
On the one hand, I *really* did not want a detailed reminder of these psychotic beliefs. I grew up surrounded by this type of awful thinking.
But thank you both for this newsletter. More people need awareness of the various foundational beliefs behind the support of the Israeli state’s genocide of Palestinians.
Fucking gross. Downright evil.
This was a great piece. I feel sick, but more informed than I've ever been about Christian Zionist beliefs. I can't wrap my head around it. To be that bloodthirsty and believe that's what a "loving" god wants. I grew up Catholic but I'm 100% Atheist now. Nothing about religion makes any sense to me now.
And I know there are tons and tons of amazing people who are religious. I just can't believe any of it anymore. Especially when it celebrates something this horrific.
I know a lot of people have been afraid to speak out against what Israel is doing for fear of being called antisemitic. Now I realize a lot of the people supporting Israel are ironically antisemitic themselves..
Yeah - so so true. Destiny Church in NZ spent the pandemic sharing antisemitic conspiracy theories - now they're marching for Israel. Totally cooked: https://twitter.com/DylanReeve/status/1723121109497991379
It's interesting watching the pandemic conspiracy folks, belief gymnastics as they 'rebrand' to other conspiracies now COVID no longer gets the media impact they crave.
Thanks David, an interesting, if disturbing read. There are some insane things being said at the moment, juxtaposed against the reality of what's happening in Gaza they are just grotesque.
I wrote a newsletter this week on the old adage of truth being the first casualty of war, primarily about people, from all around the world, being labelled as anti semitic because they are asking for a ceasefire. It's free here if anyone would like to have a read:
https://nickrockel.substack.com/p/truth
I can recommend!
It all sounds a lot like Biblical fan fiction these days. Its dangerously in the hands of those wielding a little too much influence on the vulnerable and predisposed.
Fan fiction - perfect description for the bible!
I see the Bible more of a socio- historical document. People do give it more weight and influence than it should have, much like certain parts of Constitution ("Right to bear arms" I'm looking at you) ;)
Me too!
All of my adolescent/teen years were spent in an organization similar to this.
I got to witness full evangelical Christian nonsense during the height of the y2k panic. I remember very vividly being 16 and standing in line to load into the choir box and listening to the women behind having a conversation where one of them said "I need to renew my license but I don't think I will because we're not gonna be here in another 5 years for it to matter". She thought because the RAPTURE was going to happen that she wouldn't need to renew her license. Its this same belief thay many evangelicals use to justify not doing anything about climate change, social issues, etc. And that's the mindset I spent most of my time around during my formative years. I am *still* overcoming it to this day at 40.
It's so hard to see these events and not be triggered by feelings of the fear of "is this really it?" My brain automatically goes there and I hate it. It makes watching these awful events unfolding far worse. It doesn't help that my parents who are avid church goers still believe this is the end times. Now they're not rejoicing in the lives lost or extreme violence or anything, but I know they're eagerly anticipating the arrival of Christ so their suffering will be over. "Theirs" meaning my parents not the people *actually* suffering at the hands of violence.
I'm happy to not be a part of it anymore. But the damage of this kind of teaching lasts forever it seems 😪.
Oh my lords I forgot about that aspect to Y2K!
It was completely unhinged 🙃🙃🙃🙃
I totally get being triggered by this stuff. It took two goes to read the article, even though I've been out of my own Bible based doomsday cult for more than 30 years and I am still triggered at times.
I remember the sheer panic I felt on NYE, entering into the year 2000 as it had been "prophesied" that this would mean the return of the lord. I listened out all night for trumpets, in absolute fear. Yikes!
I agree that it is so hard to let go of the damage that growing up with this kind of thinking has done. Your comment: It's so hard to see these events and not be triggered by feelings of the fear of "is this really it?"
I really resonate with this. I can't stop my mind from going there, and thinking "what if I'm actually wrong, and the world is going to end"? Do you think the damage is lifelong, or is it possible to untangle from this sort of thinking?
I remember I was home with my mom waiting for the ball to drop in complete silence. Afraid, worried about what was gonna happen next. And then.....nothing. Crickets. And I think that's the moment whenni realized this was not the life I wanted.
I think the only way out of something like this and coping with it is a good therapist and a strong support system. It's important to have people around you that will see you and hear you and not discredit your concerns and fears. They can do all that and then nap you back to reality. It's so so important to have good people around. Even finding a community like this here on Webworm, is such a huge help. David's created such a wonderful little atmosphere here for people like us to feel safe in :).
That triggering of ‘is this really it’ is so weird and annoying. I get that and then there’s the slight panic that comes back with the thoughts of how ‘I’m not good enough’. Such lame and damaging thinking. Glad to be able to see it a bit more objectively now.
Here's hoping we all heal from this trauma ❤️❤️
Honestly the last month has been some of the most despairing moments of my life. Nothing else seems relevant right now. My heart breaks for everyone in Palestine. This is a massacre built on western imperialism and the dehumanisation of the Middle East and I will never ever forget how our leaders and institutions do *NOT* serve us in any way.
I watched a video of a child with his femur poking out of his leg yesterday. He wasn’t crying. No tears left. I don’t know how anyone could watch videos like this and not die inside.
The only hope now is the power of the masses. Beautiful Auckland wormies - see you at Aotea square 2pm Sunday.
Thanks for sharing so much all the time over on your social media, CD. Hope it's not causing you too much angst in your DMs, and your day-to-day. Keep going.
The thing about not being famous is that people have the decency to just unfollow you silently instead of giving you angst. Anyway... what is my angst compared to what’s happening in Gaza. Nothing. Thanks for using your platform too DF x
Fantastic piece, thank you Josh! Great job accurately explaining the mouthful that is 'premillennial dispensationalist eschatology'. Like others here, I grew up beneath the boot of Christian Zionism in various NZ evangelical churches. I have since left that harmful fucking childhood mindset far behind and these days try to follow a gentler, wilder Christ outside (many) church walls. Easy to spot parallels between Qanon and Christian end times cult conspiracy theories when there are people fully believing they'll be trundling out archaic guillotines to behead Christians and you've watched others trundle out wooden noose contraptions at Trump political rallies. Didn't know there was a worldwide venture to breed perfect red heifers!
Giant respect to you for getting out and living the gentler, wilder version of the guy. Fuckin' a.
I grew up in a very exclusive and conservative lay church which shared these intensely Christian Zionist views. Every week from the pulpit you'd hear someone talking about how "the Jews are God's chosen people - but they need to be brought to Jesus", while generally glossing over the process through which that happens. Anytime there is war in the Middle East you'd see a spark in their eye and the phrase "these are truly the last days" would pepper casual conversation. It took making a Palestinian friend at uni and studying colonialism for my views on Israel to flip.
I grew up with all the predictions of mass destruction and death that Mortlock was repeating, but with my Doomsday Cult own particular spin on the tribulation. Woe unto the world for time, times and half a time and modern day Israel (the UK and Great Britain were believed to be the descendants of Ephraim and Manasseh). It was terrifying for a child, for it was drummed into us that it would happen very soon. All my friends and family members would be obliterated in a nuclear winter beyond comprehension. But we would be saved if only we held true to what we were taught. It seems incomprehensible to me now but I was indoctrinated to believe that God show will show his love by inflicting such horrible death and suffering upon billions of people. My older self looks back on this in horror it sees it as but one of the many forms of abuse we suffered as a second generation cult survivor.
Really, really glad you're out of it. I dunno about you, but I find elements of certain ideas still stuck below the surface. Like, on a bad day - or if I'm really out of it (just waking up, say) - the idea that maybe, just maybe, hell is real comes pushing back in. These concepts and ideas and worries bury deep.
I’ve been in a brittle, dark mood for a few days now and it wasn’t until yesterday (I can be very slow) that I realised it was a reaction to swimming in this particularly polluted sea. Not that I regret writing the article at all, it’s just that feeling those old neural pathways light up again was distressing. Add the endless awful news coming from Gaza and you’ve got a recipe for a bad time. To all the ex-fundamentalists who felt upset by this article, solidarity. I hope you find a bit of space to process those feelings. (I’m about to head out to the gym, which can be a pretty helpful way of dealing with it.)
Thanks for writing. Truth telling isn't without cost but the cost of not telling the truth is orders of magnitude greater.
I told some of my storing recently in a Living Books programme. The psychological effects of growing up in this cesspool still affects me but I have great support whch keeps me gong.
Look after yourself and keep telling thee truth.