I hope Jake, his brother and his friends are all ok. I know they won't be, even this will be triggering as hell for them. Please tell him I know the fight because I'm in it. I feel sick and in tears as this stuff is deeply triggering, but the world needs to know. When everyone knows, maybe then the abuse might slow down. Thank you, Jake and thank you, David, for being a journalist with heart 🫶(sorry, I am dyslexic and got names confused).
I'm so proud of those brothers and the third victim of sexual assault. They have almost certainly protected many children from sexual assault by this predator. Thank you for sharing this information and news. It's important and reassuring. Victims can go on to find community, become empowered, protect others, and heal.
I appreciate Jake opening up and sharing his story. As a sexual assault victim myself, it took a long time to be able to openly talk about it. Especially when you have the church and purity culture overshadowing your life.
What perplexes me, is why the church, or just religious people in general try to quickly move past abuse, “keep it in the family, if you will. I was not assaulted by someone in the church but it was someone known to my family. I was about 5 when it happened. I remember being in my senior year in high school and getting in an intense argument with my dad about it. He asked me to forgive my abuser as “that’s what Jesus would do”. Fuck that. I’m not Jesus. You can’t tell someone how to feel and process their trauma. My dad was not a bad person, but I feel that his faith was something he could get lost in when reality was hard to handle. Maybe, this is the reason why some churches respond the way they do…? Forgiveness is used as a blanket to tuck and put to bed complex issues instead of facing it head on. How do you resolve things that way? The answer is, you don’t and the cycle of abuse is just allowed to continue without any responsibility being taken.
You hit on a number of good points here, Amber. And I'm so sorry to hear about your own experience. You will have a greater understanding of what Jake dealt with than me, in many ways. The church's place in this is so unusual, and there is *so much* going on. Part of it is just the reasoning that nothing can go wrong, because all these young men are sexually pure. The other thing is the utter lack of accountability. Immunity. That is built into the megachurch culture especially, I think. I saw it all through Arise. The other thing is this idea of any negativity - and accusations - being explained away as "the work of the devil". Those are such powerful ideas that keep things buried and denied.
I feel like if these mega churches were honest and legitimately condemned abuse this wouldn’t happen so frequently (I hope) and that more people may be inclined to turn toward the church. Being dismissive of victims does the complete opposite. I don’t know how or if that will ever change.
I feel completely heartbroken for Jake, his brother, and their friend. I hope they can find comfort knowing that this is not their fault, comfort in the fact they took a stand against this, and I hope they have a loving support system around them. ❤️
I'm so sorry this happened to you and for your father's response - I got the same response from my father. People overlook that even Jesus doesn't outright forgive people - he first requires our repentance. Neither should Christians be obliged to forgive an abuser where they have not FULLY repented. What does repentance look like here? While private apologies are important, I think repentance includes accepting the full consequences of the offending and doing whatever you can to bring restitution (Exodus 22, Numbers 5:7, James 5:16, Matthew 5:23-24). Submitting to the law would be part of this, in my view, and victims reporting the abuse would simply be facilitating the process. Wishing you peace and healing x
I am at peace with it all, and I hope you are too. ❤️ I had a bad ass grandmother who helped me process this more than she ever knew.
I just get really worked up when I hear about it happening to others. I hate so much that it’s a shameful/taboo thing to discuss. Like mentioned above, purity culture has a lot to do with that. You feel shame as you feel that you “allowed” it to happen, without realizing that it’s the perpetrator who is fully responsible.
I just hope that being outspoken about it, that I can help others find comfort in that they are not alone and to help them not feeling any shame/guilt.
Also, I am sorry you had a similar response from your dad. Our dad’s are supposed to protect us. It can be hard to digest when we feel like that hasn’t happened. Sending love. ❤️
It takes a lot of strength and courage to speak out, so thank you to Jake and the other victims. And thanks David for providing a space for it.
This emphasis on "purity" is so toxic and unrealistic. It's literally unattainable. The real human experience is messy, and churches like this don't like to deal with messy. Why have uncomfortable conversations about your own flaws and imperfections when you can just pretend they don't exist? And purity is so much easier to sell to people.
Yeah - purity culture is, er, fucked. Utterly impossible. Fighting against our biological and emotional makeup. You are set up to fail, and then the guilt and control come in.
And when every bad though or action can be externalized as Satanic influence, there can't really be any change or accountability. You don't put structures in olace to prevent this from happening again. The only solution is "pray harder".
I think the purity argument is used because it is unrealistic, so that the failures are used as excuses for the individual to redouble their efforts to be insulated within the indoctrination structure and to isolate them further from any outside influences where they might question the teachings they're being given.
OMG yes. For me it was double edged. Got me of the hook for being secretly gay. If we're all meant to be pure then I don't stand out for not hooking up with girls... but then you feel doubly condemned, because you didn't just sin, you sin-sinned...
At the risk of sounding cynical I’m going to throw out my fairly unnuanced take: I think pretty much all of these churches exist entirely to exploit people. At the leadership level they’re about exploiting people for wealth and influence, and that is their foundational raison d’être.
Then, like rats drawn to a big pile of refuse, the ranks swell with manipulators and exploiters of a simpler kind, taking advantage of the fact that this institution has done the heavy lifting of drilling a vulnerable congregation in the virtuousness of obedience and subjugation. Those second-tier shitheads, like the one described above, know that they will be facilitated in victimizing others by the very nature of the church.
I appreciate Jake’s strength in sharing his story. We know that the default position of these institutions is to close ranks, which makes it even more important to shine a light on them.
That was intense. It’s truly disgusting how people like Josh hide under the banner of a church and that the church covers this up. It felt disgusting reading this purely for the fact that no one saw a 20 year old hanging out with a 13 year old as an issue. This just hurts that people like this are out there taking advantage of others sexually using the facade of faith and just completely deceiving so many in the process to fulfill their sick and twisted desires. Thank you for sharing this and getting the word out about this.
That's the thing - and part of why I wanted to share this: The whole "youth leader" thing is just such an imbedded thing in some of these churches, with little oversight. And of course all the leaders are sexually pure people, so what could happen, right?
Omg yes, did no one look at this and go "hmmmm"? No alarm bells at all? I had a friend group as a teenager, where a bunch of us "kids" hanged out with an older young adult. He was super cool and had a job, so he could afford the latest consoles, games, anime. He had his own flat next to his parents house. We were 14-16 years and he was at least 19 or 20.
He "acted" or seemed to be very immature. He got super excited and hyped about games. I don't recall him being physical with the other guys or girls though. He just seemed to have a younger heart or personality. But now I wonder if that was an act, and his intention was something more sinister. I won't ever know....
People can be arseholes. What Jake, his brother and the third guy did in standing up to this abuse was brave and no doubt saved others suffering at the hands of the sleazy sicko. Having this happen to you changes you in ways that are unimaginable, taking back your power is restorative
The church not only did not give a proper apology. They show no indication of implementing systems and procedures to prevent this happening again. There is no mention of discouraging one on ones and allowing such so-called leaders in bed themselves and families.
I believe churches need outside supervision to audit their activities to make sure that children are properly protected kindergartens and schools get checked over to make sure that they have proper systems and procedures to protect children. We need outside oversight on all churches as these people hide in plain sight.
Yes - I agree. We need to hold these places accountable as they have proved time and time again that their internal methods fail nearly every time. They are set up to fail.
I did the same when I saw the headline. I was really hoping we were going to have a story from David about reconnecting with an old friend and something interesting that happened. I was just talking about that exact situation with a friend I saw for lunch today, and how even though it is harder and more time consuming I preferred to schedule a lot of different lunch events to have the individual time to talk with each person rather than fewer in a larger group setting where I wouldn't have the same depth of intellectual discourse with each individual.
Thanks, Dean. Jake was really good to work with on this, as I figured out timelines and context. The biggest part of something like this is figuring out what to leave out. And giving enough context so those readers outside of the church system understand what the hell is going on!
I’d be interested to know what programmes/rehabilitation Josh was made to do, if any. Community service isn’t a deterrent. Turns out prison isn’t either. The reoffending rate is horrendous. Not much use “punishing” the offenders (not that community service is really a fair consequence for sexual abuse) if no effort is made to correct their behaviour for the future.
Right like while incarcerated are they being allowed to seek therapy? That should be mandatory, especially if they are re-entering society.
Personally, I think anyone convicted of a crime like this shouldn’t be let out. It can escalate to worse situations that involve both sexual assault and murder.
Therapy is the solution. Psychiatric help, talk therapy, rehabilitation. Community service has no relevance to the perpetrator's actions, and frankly, doing community service isn't even exactly a punishment. Helping out your community and local non-profits can be great. But it certainly won't offer any necessary tools to this perpetrator. We really need to restructure the system to catch up with where we've advanced to as a society re: our understanding of human psyche
👍💯 My thoughts exactly 🤔 How long before it would escalate to full fledged rape as Josh got older & the power dynamic got stronger between himself & his much younger victims ⁉️ AND he was getting away with it for years 🤢
I remember going to CityLife a few times with a mate back in the 2000s. I didn't like the vibe then, so stuck to c3, until that lost it's allure.
Thanks for sharing this story. I love that there is a place here for us former church kids to be heard and supported. Thanks Jake, thanks David.
I'm going to add to this, I know when I was that age, I would have loved an older male mentor/friend who showed an interest in me, which would have made me a prime victim (if not for the fact I'd already been down this road as a kid, so hyper aware).
You read so many of these experiences where the pattern of behavior is these predictors seeing someone in need of attention and exploiting it, thus fucking up that persons ability to trust anyone who tries to get close in the future, as I know all to well.
Hopefully Jake and those associated with this case, are getting the support they need. All I can say is it's taken me until this year to be in a position to be able to afford it, and I know how helpful it's been, so I really hope it's there for them.
🫂 You've hit on one of the worst aspects - the lack of being able to trust anyone going forward 🥹 If you can't trust someone apparently eminently trustworthy, then 🤷
It's heartbreaking that yet another cohort of young people have been emotionally and sexually abused in a church setting. How many more victims have to suffer before these toxic cultures are taken down? It seems like they just cover up by saying “It’s just one bad apple but now they are gone everything’s cool.” How can standing by while children’s lives are scarred ever be cool?
Good on ya, Jake for sharing your story and with the view to protecting others from this predator. All the best to and your brother, oh and the 3rd person too, all of you brave enough to go through the scrutiny of court hearings.
Beautifully handled with your usual decency and care, David.
I figure if we keep telling them, things *may* slowly change (they are, slowly - with every doc about Hillsong and article about wonky churches) and at the very least a current victim or friend of a victim gets an insight into what's actually going on, and it starts a process.
This is really brave of you Jake (you're in here somewhere I'm guessing!). It takes a lot to go through the process of reporting sexual assault - cognitively, emotionally, probably financially, for you and your family and the other young victim. So I really wanted to let you know I think you're really brave. Those FB messages make me want to vomit in my mouth, what a cockroach of a human - employed by a cockroach of an institution.
I hope Jake, his brother and his friends are all ok. I know they won't be, even this will be triggering as hell for them. Please tell him I know the fight because I'm in it. I feel sick and in tears as this stuff is deeply triggering, but the world needs to know. When everyone knows, maybe then the abuse might slow down. Thank you, Jake and thank you, David, for being a journalist with heart 🫶(sorry, I am dyslexic and got names confused).
Thanks, Jazmine. I know you get it. And I am in pretty close contact with Jake, and he's a Webworm guy, and we'll be keeping in touch through this.
❤️I hope you are doing ok.
Thank you. I'm okay; this is about Jake.
I'm so proud of those brothers and the third victim of sexual assault. They have almost certainly protected many children from sexual assault by this predator. Thank you for sharing this information and news. It's important and reassuring. Victims can go on to find community, become empowered, protect others, and heal.
I appreciate Jake opening up and sharing his story. As a sexual assault victim myself, it took a long time to be able to openly talk about it. Especially when you have the church and purity culture overshadowing your life.
What perplexes me, is why the church, or just religious people in general try to quickly move past abuse, “keep it in the family, if you will. I was not assaulted by someone in the church but it was someone known to my family. I was about 5 when it happened. I remember being in my senior year in high school and getting in an intense argument with my dad about it. He asked me to forgive my abuser as “that’s what Jesus would do”. Fuck that. I’m not Jesus. You can’t tell someone how to feel and process their trauma. My dad was not a bad person, but I feel that his faith was something he could get lost in when reality was hard to handle. Maybe, this is the reason why some churches respond the way they do…? Forgiveness is used as a blanket to tuck and put to bed complex issues instead of facing it head on. How do you resolve things that way? The answer is, you don’t and the cycle of abuse is just allowed to continue without any responsibility being taken.
You hit on a number of good points here, Amber. And I'm so sorry to hear about your own experience. You will have a greater understanding of what Jake dealt with than me, in many ways. The church's place in this is so unusual, and there is *so much* going on. Part of it is just the reasoning that nothing can go wrong, because all these young men are sexually pure. The other thing is the utter lack of accountability. Immunity. That is built into the megachurch culture especially, I think. I saw it all through Arise. The other thing is this idea of any negativity - and accusations - being explained away as "the work of the devil". Those are such powerful ideas that keep things buried and denied.
I feel like if these mega churches were honest and legitimately condemned abuse this wouldn’t happen so frequently (I hope) and that more people may be inclined to turn toward the church. Being dismissive of victims does the complete opposite. I don’t know how or if that will ever change.
I feel completely heartbroken for Jake, his brother, and their friend. I hope they can find comfort knowing that this is not their fault, comfort in the fact they took a stand against this, and I hope they have a loving support system around them. ❤️
Work of the devil.
Bro, so familiar. Along with "spiritual warfare", "righteous anger" and being "Under attack"... no, you're just being called out on shitty behavior.
I'm so sorry this happened to you and for your father's response - I got the same response from my father. People overlook that even Jesus doesn't outright forgive people - he first requires our repentance. Neither should Christians be obliged to forgive an abuser where they have not FULLY repented. What does repentance look like here? While private apologies are important, I think repentance includes accepting the full consequences of the offending and doing whatever you can to bring restitution (Exodus 22, Numbers 5:7, James 5:16, Matthew 5:23-24). Submitting to the law would be part of this, in my view, and victims reporting the abuse would simply be facilitating the process. Wishing you peace and healing x
I am at peace with it all, and I hope you are too. ❤️ I had a bad ass grandmother who helped me process this more than she ever knew.
I just get really worked up when I hear about it happening to others. I hate so much that it’s a shameful/taboo thing to discuss. Like mentioned above, purity culture has a lot to do with that. You feel shame as you feel that you “allowed” it to happen, without realizing that it’s the perpetrator who is fully responsible.
I just hope that being outspoken about it, that I can help others find comfort in that they are not alone and to help them not feeling any shame/guilt.
Also, I am sorry you had a similar response from your dad. Our dad’s are supposed to protect us. It can be hard to digest when we feel like that hasn’t happened. Sending love. ❤️
It takes a lot of strength and courage to speak out, so thank you to Jake and the other victims. And thanks David for providing a space for it.
This emphasis on "purity" is so toxic and unrealistic. It's literally unattainable. The real human experience is messy, and churches like this don't like to deal with messy. Why have uncomfortable conversations about your own flaws and imperfections when you can just pretend they don't exist? And purity is so much easier to sell to people.
Yeah - purity culture is, er, fucked. Utterly impossible. Fighting against our biological and emotional makeup. You are set up to fail, and then the guilt and control come in.
And shit gets swept under the carpet.
And the guilt from those years of being submerged in purity culture can fuck you up for a long time...
And when every bad though or action can be externalized as Satanic influence, there can't really be any change or accountability. You don't put structures in olace to prevent this from happening again. The only solution is "pray harder".
I think the purity argument is used because it is unrealistic, so that the failures are used as excuses for the individual to redouble their efforts to be insulated within the indoctrination structure and to isolate them further from any outside influences where they might question the teachings they're being given.
Totally - and the guilt also kicks in, which is a great control mechanism for those in leadership.
OMG yes. For me it was double edged. Got me of the hook for being secretly gay. If we're all meant to be pure then I don't stand out for not hooking up with girls... but then you feel doubly condemned, because you didn't just sin, you sin-sinned...
It's hard to fully loose this layer of shame.
At the risk of sounding cynical I’m going to throw out my fairly unnuanced take: I think pretty much all of these churches exist entirely to exploit people. At the leadership level they’re about exploiting people for wealth and influence, and that is their foundational raison d’être.
Then, like rats drawn to a big pile of refuse, the ranks swell with manipulators and exploiters of a simpler kind, taking advantage of the fact that this institution has done the heavy lifting of drilling a vulnerable congregation in the virtuousness of obedience and subjugation. Those second-tier shitheads, like the one described above, know that they will be facilitated in victimizing others by the very nature of the church.
I appreciate Jake’s strength in sharing his story. We know that the default position of these institutions is to close ranks, which makes it even more important to shine a light on them.
Not cynical at all, Patrick. Thanks for being here.
Well said 👏
That was intense. It’s truly disgusting how people like Josh hide under the banner of a church and that the church covers this up. It felt disgusting reading this purely for the fact that no one saw a 20 year old hanging out with a 13 year old as an issue. This just hurts that people like this are out there taking advantage of others sexually using the facade of faith and just completely deceiving so many in the process to fulfill their sick and twisted desires. Thank you for sharing this and getting the word out about this.
That's the thing - and part of why I wanted to share this: The whole "youth leader" thing is just such an imbedded thing in some of these churches, with little oversight. And of course all the leaders are sexually pure people, so what could happen, right?
It’s a sad reality in some of these churches. It breaks my heart knowing this happens.
Omg yes, did no one look at this and go "hmmmm"? No alarm bells at all? I had a friend group as a teenager, where a bunch of us "kids" hanged out with an older young adult. He was super cool and had a job, so he could afford the latest consoles, games, anime. He had his own flat next to his parents house. We were 14-16 years and he was at least 19 or 20.
He "acted" or seemed to be very immature. He got super excited and hyped about games. I don't recall him being physical with the other guys or girls though. He just seemed to have a younger heart or personality. But now I wonder if that was an act, and his intention was something more sinister. I won't ever know....
People can be arseholes. What Jake, his brother and the third guy did in standing up to this abuse was brave and no doubt saved others suffering at the hands of the sleazy sicko. Having this happen to you changes you in ways that are unimaginable, taking back your power is restorative
The church not only did not give a proper apology. They show no indication of implementing systems and procedures to prevent this happening again. There is no mention of discouraging one on ones and allowing such so-called leaders in bed themselves and families.
I believe churches need outside supervision to audit their activities to make sure that children are properly protected kindergartens and schools get checked over to make sure that they have proper systems and procedures to protect children. We need outside oversight on all churches as these people hide in plain sight.
Yes - I agree. We need to hold these places accountable as they have proved time and time again that their internal methods fail nearly every time. They are set up to fail.
I saw the headline and thought "oh nice, a story about making time for hanging out with friends one on one". Dammit, David!
Oop, yeah, definitely not that sorry!
I did the same when I saw the headline. I was really hoping we were going to have a story from David about reconnecting with an old friend and something interesting that happened. I was just talking about that exact situation with a friend I saw for lunch today, and how even though it is harder and more time consuming I preferred to schedule a lot of different lunch events to have the individual time to talk with each person rather than fewer in a larger group setting where I wouldn't have the same depth of intellectual discourse with each individual.
An intense read but really well constructed as always David.
Would be great to see your next movie about all these churches !
Thanks, Dean. Jake was really good to work with on this, as I figured out timelines and context. The biggest part of something like this is figuring out what to leave out. And giving enough context so those readers outside of the church system understand what the hell is going on!
Unfortunately I think you could give very little detail and we could still work it out 😥
I’d be interested to know what programmes/rehabilitation Josh was made to do, if any. Community service isn’t a deterrent. Turns out prison isn’t either. The reoffending rate is horrendous. Not much use “punishing” the offenders (not that community service is really a fair consequence for sexual abuse) if no effort is made to correct their behaviour for the future.
These brainwash-churches have to be stopped.
Right like while incarcerated are they being allowed to seek therapy? That should be mandatory, especially if they are re-entering society.
Personally, I think anyone convicted of a crime like this shouldn’t be let out. It can escalate to worse situations that involve both sexual assault and murder.
Therapy is the solution. Psychiatric help, talk therapy, rehabilitation. Community service has no relevance to the perpetrator's actions, and frankly, doing community service isn't even exactly a punishment. Helping out your community and local non-profits can be great. But it certainly won't offer any necessary tools to this perpetrator. We really need to restructure the system to catch up with where we've advanced to as a society re: our understanding of human psyche
👍💯 My thoughts exactly 🤔 How long before it would escalate to full fledged rape as Josh got older & the power dynamic got stronger between himself & his much younger victims ⁉️ AND he was getting away with it for years 🤢
I remember going to CityLife a few times with a mate back in the 2000s. I didn't like the vibe then, so stuck to c3, until that lost it's allure.
Thanks for sharing this story. I love that there is a place here for us former church kids to be heard and supported. Thanks Jake, thanks David.
I'm going to add to this, I know when I was that age, I would have loved an older male mentor/friend who showed an interest in me, which would have made me a prime victim (if not for the fact I'd already been down this road as a kid, so hyper aware).
You read so many of these experiences where the pattern of behavior is these predictors seeing someone in need of attention and exploiting it, thus fucking up that persons ability to trust anyone who tries to get close in the future, as I know all to well.
Hopefully Jake and those associated with this case, are getting the support they need. All I can say is it's taken me until this year to be in a position to be able to afford it, and I know how helpful it's been, so I really hope it's there for them.
🫂 You've hit on one of the worst aspects - the lack of being able to trust anyone going forward 🥹 If you can't trust someone apparently eminently trustworthy, then 🤷
It's heartbreaking that yet another cohort of young people have been emotionally and sexually abused in a church setting. How many more victims have to suffer before these toxic cultures are taken down? It seems like they just cover up by saying “It’s just one bad apple but now they are gone everything’s cool.” How can standing by while children’s lives are scarred ever be cool?
Good on ya, Jake for sharing your story and with the view to protecting others from this predator. All the best to and your brother, oh and the 3rd person too, all of you brave enough to go through the scrutiny of court hearings.
Beautifully handled with your usual decency and care, David.
Thanks, Peter. Jake was a scholar to work with, and the other two are aware and happy how this came out. So all three: legends.
Thank you for telling these stories, it gives me hope.
I figure if we keep telling them, things *may* slowly change (they are, slowly - with every doc about Hillsong and article about wonky churches) and at the very least a current victim or friend of a victim gets an insight into what's actually going on, and it starts a process.
This is really brave of you Jake (you're in here somewhere I'm guessing!). It takes a lot to go through the process of reporting sexual assault - cognitively, emotionally, probably financially, for you and your family and the other young victim. So I really wanted to let you know I think you're really brave. Those FB messages make me want to vomit in my mouth, what a cockroach of a human - employed by a cockroach of an institution.