Jun 21, 2022·edited Jun 21, 2022Liked by David Farrier
Ok. Simple. If you want your child to go to a school that will bring it up to be a bigot, then you pick up the bill. Let us, in a secular country, stop funding these religious schools. Most religions have access to plenty of funds of their own, anyway!
Famous Christian Theologian and Narnia author, C.S Lewis wrote that "Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive" in one of his nerdy hard to comprehend books.
There is a common concept that much evil is done with good intentions (which is sometimes misused to defend/explain psychopaths, dictators, mass murderers).
God of the Machine author and sacred cow satirist Isabel Paterson wrote that, "Most of the harm in the world is done by good people, and not by accident, lapse, or omission. It is the result of their deliberate actions, long persevered in, which they hold to be motivated by high ideals toward virtuous ends".
They're both talking, I believe, about situations like this. Add in that newer concept of cognitive dissonance, and you've got this situation where "Christians" are blinded to their oppressive habits and can only interpret corrective actions towards them as persecution. It's the same thing that makes people with react defensively to the concept of white privilege, the same thing that makes dictators think they're acting for the greater good. It's born in ignorance and nourished in echo-chambers of like-minded agreement. People believe that they are good, and therefore all their actions are good. They've got no idea of nuance.
Unfortunately "we believe" and "we think" do not equate to "we are" when it comes to meeting mandated principles and requirements under law.
Pretending that the issues to be addressed are the schools preference for prioritizing enrollments from students of a Christian background and a couple of random complaints is quite an odd response too. The issue is line item 13 on the "parents sign here" form. The line you added after approval from the ministry of education for the other 12 things and the statement that contradicts the legal obligations of your school to not discriminate. If you want to write some sanctimonious dross, at least keep it on topic
Great stuff David. I wonder if you are understating the government funding to BC and other state integrated schools. Beside a quarterly payment, the big one is that the state pays (directly, not via the school) ALL TEACHER SALARIES including the principal and senior professional staff. Another area is that the state pays for school buses to take students past other state schools to schools of “special character”.
Thank you David. I love that you are on their wall as Head Boy. That the school ignores you (because you're ALSO a journalist) make a complete lie of their final paragraph in their letter. They seem to want to cherry-pick who they think is worthy of being replied to. Please keep this brilliant work up- for everyone's sakes. I know this must become emotionally and professionally draining. Your reading community of subscribers is with you.
Having spent the last 18 months in intense therapy learning what gaslighting is... yeah that letter is just a perfect example.
Therapy also helped me finally work out my values and how to live by them. For me, it's integrity and compassion, so when I look at a letter like that, I see what purports to be both... except as my narcissist ex taught me so well, actions shout louder than words.
I thought there was a bible passage on this and I just found it:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
How can that be in their bible and yet not be adhered to? And especially to vulnerable children?
I guess nobody at Bethlehem College has worked out that “Christian special character” might include - being open to being wrong when a whole bunch of people say you’ve hurt them.
To the parents and prospective parents…some food for thought
Can I start by saying that I am not a parent of a past or present student at Bethlehem College but I have seen a close family member go through the decision to send their children to a ‘special character’ integrated school.
In that case the decision on what school to send their children was made on a number of factors including; proximity/access, child’s preference and where their friends were going, educational reputation, personal connections with staff, money, alumni… and Christian values.
I also get that by the time many parents get the documentation to sign, the decision has been made, people told, other options declined, uniforms bought…essentially it is too late. For this couple, (and many of their friends) Christian values is about education with a moral compass, giving the children the opportunity to establish their own values and doing so in a (hopefully) more caring environment. Having read the Bethlehem College statement of beliefs, I can appreciate that many parents thought ‘what a lot of gobbledegook’, started to glaze over and just signed it to get it done. In my example, one parent was way less ‘on-board’ than the other anyway and so the one that signed the documents was on their own.
What I’m getting at with this long introduction is that in my experience not all parents are as ‘hard-core’ in their Christian beliefs as the board is promulgating.
Actions like the ‘kill the gays’ fiasco was probably exactly what they were hoping to keep their children away from.
I can imagine that quite a few Bethlehem College parents are now in the position of realising that the values and inclusion they thought they were getting (and paying for) are far from caring…or even honest.
You love your child(ren) and you want the best for them. But you also know that EVEN IF your child is heterosexual with no specific gender issues, there is likely to be a time during their schooling when they clash with one or other school policy and you are called in, or go in, to support your child. The communication that David has published has given you a strong clue into how you will be treated. It is patronising, passive-aggressive and has no problem with quoting scripture at you or blatantly lying. This is the leadership you are paying for, and these are the values that are seeping through the school.
I know it is a huge call to move your child once they are mid-schooling, but if you could reach out to other parents and supportive staff then maybe with numbers, you can get some meaningful change in the leadership, documentation and style of the school.
Perhaps taking a stand like that is closer to the leadership and role modelling you were hoping to expose your child to?
I think this is a good development. They've drawn a line in the sand, but not understood the water level is rising. It doesn't bode well for the school management.
So they will embrace openly and lovingly in conversation with any ex students who are hurt, but they won’t talk to you at all. They also won’t talk to you as an NZ journalist because they’re only speaking to NZ journalists. And they’re all about love and kindness and treating thy neighbor as they’d treat themselves, but they’re refusing to stop driving certain kids to suicide attempts even when legally forced to do so. Ok got it.
No surprise here. In the Worldview of Bethlehem there is no place for anyone of the LGBQTI (I hate acronyms so I will in future refer to the rainbow community) inside the church. To keep informed of the world of fundamentalism I am subscribed to the Christian Post, a mouthpiece of the Southern Baptists. The number one issues appear to be 1) Transgender, 2) Gays and Lesbians 3) So called grooming by gays and lesbians to convert children to be gay or lesbian, 4) Critical Race Theory which argues there is systemic bias in the legal institutions against people of colour. All of these are tied together under the banner of "Wokism".
Nothing is mentioned about the poor, the marginalized, the stranger, the orphan and widow. That is nothing about the people Jesus was concerned about or in the book of James who said pure religion is to visit the widows and orphans in their distress. But then I think I would be considered by the leaders of Bethlehem or the SBC to be a CINO (Christian in Name Only) for I consider these to be more important than issues about the Rainbow Community.
They are in breach of their funding agreement, so turn the money tap off. That should bring them to heel so they at least pay lip service. But it won't fundamentally change anything because these people hate "the gays" or anyone different - including, apparently, their ex-Head Boy. Shut it down. Shut them all down. "Special Character" my arse.
If you are actively discriminating against an individual or group because of your "Christian Beliefs," then you are doing this wrong. This is insane; it is NOT what Jesus would do. Question: if the government pays the teachers and staff directly, couldn't it just stop if BC continues with this discrimination? #Churchtoo
Hi David. I am a Pentecostal pastor from Melbourne, Australia, and have been interested in your writings about Arise Church. I also enjoyed your recent interview with Pete and Jared on The Bible for Normal People podcast.
I am just as horrified as you are about systemic abuse within churches. It's been happening for years, and it needs to be exposed.
I agree with your statement, "They claim they are under spiritual attack, centring themselves as the victim." It's a popular narrative amongst some conservative Christians who view themselves as conspirators on this planet. I know because I was just like that when I converted to Christianity in my late teens/early 20s. The book of Revelation was read accompanied by the daily newspaper. The antichrist was about to be revealed, the great tribulation would start when the planets aligned (March 1982), and Jesus would return in 1988. Nothing happened that time or since, and I eventually realised this narrative was utterly wrong and is not an accurate understanding of the Bible.
I was amazed to watch some evangelical and pentecostal Christians again go down the conspiratorial rabbit hole through the pandemic. I realised nothing had changed for people who hold to this view of the Bible. It appears they had learned nothing from history.
The other popular narrative is, "Yeah, sure people have been hurt but look at all the good things we do." Souls are saved etc. I believe it is essential that Christian leaders are careful not to minimise the hurt and abuse experienced by others on our watch. Neither must we play the victim. The Christian virtues of truth, honesty, and justice must shine through.
Ok. Simple. If you want your child to go to a school that will bring it up to be a bigot, then you pick up the bill. Let us, in a secular country, stop funding these religious schools. Most religions have access to plenty of funds of their own, anyway!
Famous Christian Theologian and Narnia author, C.S Lewis wrote that "Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive" in one of his nerdy hard to comprehend books.
There is a common concept that much evil is done with good intentions (which is sometimes misused to defend/explain psychopaths, dictators, mass murderers).
God of the Machine author and sacred cow satirist Isabel Paterson wrote that, "Most of the harm in the world is done by good people, and not by accident, lapse, or omission. It is the result of their deliberate actions, long persevered in, which they hold to be motivated by high ideals toward virtuous ends".
They're both talking, I believe, about situations like this. Add in that newer concept of cognitive dissonance, and you've got this situation where "Christians" are blinded to their oppressive habits and can only interpret corrective actions towards them as persecution. It's the same thing that makes people with react defensively to the concept of white privilege, the same thing that makes dictators think they're acting for the greater good. It's born in ignorance and nourished in echo-chambers of like-minded agreement. People believe that they are good, and therefore all their actions are good. They've got no idea of nuance.
Unfortunately "we believe" and "we think" do not equate to "we are" when it comes to meeting mandated principles and requirements under law.
Pretending that the issues to be addressed are the schools preference for prioritizing enrollments from students of a Christian background and a couple of random complaints is quite an odd response too. The issue is line item 13 on the "parents sign here" form. The line you added after approval from the ministry of education for the other 12 things and the statement that contradicts the legal obligations of your school to not discriminate. If you want to write some sanctimonious dross, at least keep it on topic
Great stuff David. I wonder if you are understating the government funding to BC and other state integrated schools. Beside a quarterly payment, the big one is that the state pays (directly, not via the school) ALL TEACHER SALARIES including the principal and senior professional staff. Another area is that the state pays for school buses to take students past other state schools to schools of “special character”.
Thank you David. I love that you are on their wall as Head Boy. That the school ignores you (because you're ALSO a journalist) make a complete lie of their final paragraph in their letter. They seem to want to cherry-pick who they think is worthy of being replied to. Please keep this brilliant work up- for everyone's sakes. I know this must become emotionally and professionally draining. Your reading community of subscribers is with you.
I'm so glad your name is on their wall, David.
Having spent the last 18 months in intense therapy learning what gaslighting is... yeah that letter is just a perfect example.
Therapy also helped me finally work out my values and how to live by them. For me, it's integrity and compassion, so when I look at a letter like that, I see what purports to be both... except as my narcissist ex taught me so well, actions shout louder than words.
I thought there was a bible passage on this and I just found it:
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
How can that be in their bible and yet not be adhered to? And especially to vulnerable children?
I guess nobody at Bethlehem College has worked out that “Christian special character” might include - being open to being wrong when a whole bunch of people say you’ve hurt them.
To the parents and prospective parents…some food for thought
Can I start by saying that I am not a parent of a past or present student at Bethlehem College but I have seen a close family member go through the decision to send their children to a ‘special character’ integrated school.
In that case the decision on what school to send their children was made on a number of factors including; proximity/access, child’s preference and where their friends were going, educational reputation, personal connections with staff, money, alumni… and Christian values.
I also get that by the time many parents get the documentation to sign, the decision has been made, people told, other options declined, uniforms bought…essentially it is too late. For this couple, (and many of their friends) Christian values is about education with a moral compass, giving the children the opportunity to establish their own values and doing so in a (hopefully) more caring environment. Having read the Bethlehem College statement of beliefs, I can appreciate that many parents thought ‘what a lot of gobbledegook’, started to glaze over and just signed it to get it done. In my example, one parent was way less ‘on-board’ than the other anyway and so the one that signed the documents was on their own.
What I’m getting at with this long introduction is that in my experience not all parents are as ‘hard-core’ in their Christian beliefs as the board is promulgating.
Actions like the ‘kill the gays’ fiasco was probably exactly what they were hoping to keep their children away from.
I can imagine that quite a few Bethlehem College parents are now in the position of realising that the values and inclusion they thought they were getting (and paying for) are far from caring…or even honest.
You love your child(ren) and you want the best for them. But you also know that EVEN IF your child is heterosexual with no specific gender issues, there is likely to be a time during their schooling when they clash with one or other school policy and you are called in, or go in, to support your child. The communication that David has published has given you a strong clue into how you will be treated. It is patronising, passive-aggressive and has no problem with quoting scripture at you or blatantly lying. This is the leadership you are paying for, and these are the values that are seeping through the school.
I know it is a huge call to move your child once they are mid-schooling, but if you could reach out to other parents and supportive staff then maybe with numbers, you can get some meaningful change in the leadership, documentation and style of the school.
Perhaps taking a stand like that is closer to the leadership and role modelling you were hoping to expose your child to?
I think this is a good development. They've drawn a line in the sand, but not understood the water level is rising. It doesn't bode well for the school management.
So they will embrace openly and lovingly in conversation with any ex students who are hurt, but they won’t talk to you at all. They also won’t talk to you as an NZ journalist because they’re only speaking to NZ journalists. And they’re all about love and kindness and treating thy neighbor as they’d treat themselves, but they’re refusing to stop driving certain kids to suicide attempts even when legally forced to do so. Ok got it.
No surprise here. In the Worldview of Bethlehem there is no place for anyone of the LGBQTI (I hate acronyms so I will in future refer to the rainbow community) inside the church. To keep informed of the world of fundamentalism I am subscribed to the Christian Post, a mouthpiece of the Southern Baptists. The number one issues appear to be 1) Transgender, 2) Gays and Lesbians 3) So called grooming by gays and lesbians to convert children to be gay or lesbian, 4) Critical Race Theory which argues there is systemic bias in the legal institutions against people of colour. All of these are tied together under the banner of "Wokism".
Nothing is mentioned about the poor, the marginalized, the stranger, the orphan and widow. That is nothing about the people Jesus was concerned about or in the book of James who said pure religion is to visit the widows and orphans in their distress. But then I think I would be considered by the leaders of Bethlehem or the SBC to be a CINO (Christian in Name Only) for I consider these to be more important than issues about the Rainbow Community.
Mainstream religion vs cults… it can be a very fine line
They are in breach of their funding agreement, so turn the money tap off. That should bring them to heel so they at least pay lip service. But it won't fundamentally change anything because these people hate "the gays" or anyone different - including, apparently, their ex-Head Boy. Shut it down. Shut them all down. "Special Character" my arse.
It doesn’t matter what they “believe”, they still have an obligation as outlined in their funding? The gaslighting is intense but so painfully obvious
If you are actively discriminating against an individual or group because of your "Christian Beliefs," then you are doing this wrong. This is insane; it is NOT what Jesus would do. Question: if the government pays the teachers and staff directly, couldn't it just stop if BC continues with this discrimination? #Churchtoo
Hi David. I am a Pentecostal pastor from Melbourne, Australia, and have been interested in your writings about Arise Church. I also enjoyed your recent interview with Pete and Jared on The Bible for Normal People podcast.
I am just as horrified as you are about systemic abuse within churches. It's been happening for years, and it needs to be exposed.
I agree with your statement, "They claim they are under spiritual attack, centring themselves as the victim." It's a popular narrative amongst some conservative Christians who view themselves as conspirators on this planet. I know because I was just like that when I converted to Christianity in my late teens/early 20s. The book of Revelation was read accompanied by the daily newspaper. The antichrist was about to be revealed, the great tribulation would start when the planets aligned (March 1982), and Jesus would return in 1988. Nothing happened that time or since, and I eventually realised this narrative was utterly wrong and is not an accurate understanding of the Bible.
I was amazed to watch some evangelical and pentecostal Christians again go down the conspiratorial rabbit hole through the pandemic. I realised nothing had changed for people who hold to this view of the Bible. It appears they had learned nothing from history.
The other popular narrative is, "Yeah, sure people have been hurt but look at all the good things we do." Souls are saved etc. I believe it is essential that Christian leaders are careful not to minimise the hurt and abuse experienced by others on our watch. Neither must we play the victim. The Christian virtues of truth, honesty, and justice must shine through.