As a disabled person who literally cannot leave the country, due to both lack of funds and the fact that other countries generally don’t let disabled people move to them, I have literally no choice but to make the best of it—an impossible take, but one on which my life depends. I have been impressed so far by the people who are most in danger as a result of this outcome talking about their resolution to be there for each other. The kindness from the people who are hurting the most is, dare I say it, inspiring (barf, gag).
What I don’t care for is the blame flying around and the constant admonitions to be nice to the people who voted for this because they’re people too, okay? Leftists always get the blame when things go poorly for Democrats despite the fact leftists pretty fucking reliably turn out in spite of the scorn from the right—something that works against us, because it means Dems don’t bother to reach out to us, instead preferring to constantly reach right and shift the Overton window further and further towards, well, where we’re at. As for being so very considerate of the feefees of the people celebrating their victory right now, they’re adults. It’s been eight years. They know what they’re doing. Their fears of imaginary bogeymen who just happen to be trans and brown are valid, apparently, but the anger from the people they constantly dehumanize isn’t. Personally I’m only interested in extending my limited resources to making sure people at risk are okay, and I have nothing left for any who, at best, choose to remain ignorant and self-centered. I’m simply not interested in excuses; if your version of “safety” involves dehumanizing actual people who are different from you, you are doing a bad thing! That’s bad!! I don’t care if someone lied to you to get you there! You’re an adult!!
Anyway. I think anyone who feels despair right now is perfectly valid. It’s scary. People are going to die. It’s going to be a miserable time for a long time. As a millennial, I know we’ve always been dealt a bad hand. As the first generation to grow up under Reaganomics, we’re the ones whose futures were mortgaged for short-term excess. We’re the first generation to end up poorer than our parents. Younger generations aren’t faring any better, especially those who had parts of their childhood stolen by an atrociously-handled global pandemic. And this doesn’t just go for us in the US—as Foreign Man in a Foreign Land said, “when America sneezes, we die.” It’s bad, it’s grim, and even if it’s not as bad as a worst-case scenario, it’s still going to be really really bad. I don’t have a way to conclude this essay! Everything sucks!!! Just keep looking out for each other. If you feel despair, stay connected. If you’re managing for the moment, hold up others who are sinking. That’s all.
Sorry you're stuck there, Chelle. And I'm very sorry America just joined the other countries headed to a bad place. ...
But, David, why would you suggest people come to NZ, for escape??! There's none to be found here. Not since an equally bat-shit (self-indulgent) majority here voted for right-wing, would-be despots. A year into this term, NZ is in a very bad place - and 50% of the country still avoids the truth of it. Those in need are bearing the brunt of bad policies that have turned back progress, and it's only going to get worse since America voted Trump.
FYI: Yesterday, under cover of eyes turned to America, ACT party [one of the government's coalition partners] introduced a Bill to Parliament seeking to change and destroy our founding Treaty [of Waitangi]. It wasn't due until next week - in case anyone thinks there wasn't anything sneaky about this - and protests were planned. Our weak PM, who could stop it from proceeding next week, won't be in the country, leaving one of the Bill's backers in charge. Go figure! [Mr Avoidance will be off glad-handing some other poor unknowing sod.]
So...don't think you're going to escape madness, cruelty and the rich getting richer by flying to Aotearoa New Zealand. But do come for a holiday, soon. It is a beautiful place ...and you'd better come here before this government allows miners to dig it up on fast-track permissions. ...
My heart goes out to the 49% of Americans who do have one. The misogynists leading the other 51%, I ill-wish you, along with our lot.
well said....we have our own versions of tRump at the wheel......this ain't no happy paradise for many of us. Excellent words Annie and I tautoko all of them.
Thank you for bringing up this point about disabled Americans. Most people do not realize how utterly trapped we are. Appropriately, the stress from that very thought made me crash the hardest I ever have; couldn't move for like 4 days after the election. 🙃
Whenever I've had a really tough time and one of my pollyanna-leaning friends wants to rush me through it, I remind them that they know me well enough to know I'll eventually be ok, but I MUST wallow for a minute. This election was a big deal to a lot of people and it's been SO incredibly personal - knowing that people I'm in some kind of relationship with have chosen a man who so blatantly disregards the humanity of so many people to lead our country. It's depressing as fuck to know my sister, who was born in Mexico without a birth certificate because she wasn't born in a hospital, voted for a guy who'd deport her in a hot second. Who thinks our niece is less than because she was born male. Who depended on public assistance a great deal of her life, but now wants nobody else to have it. *throws hands up in despair*
I think Americans are so bad at sitting in sadness. New Zealanders, too, for that matter. This idea of OK GET UP AND GO AND FIGHT NOW is just exhausting. Let us just be exhausted for a lil' bit!
Agreed. I'm an American that's been told my whole life to "get up and keep working, no one cares about you." So when I woke up the next morning it was really difficult for me to sit in that shit but I had to. I cut off all social media and news sources and drank for several days. My pity party is over and I'm back to paying attention but I so agree with give us a moment to wallow in the shit and the fact that we have to listen to his ramblings and look at his punchable face. Thank you for coming to my bullshit whiny talk.
I think humans in general are bad at sitting in sadness. Widowhood taught me a lot about that - I was expected to kinda get over it and move on way before my mind was ready. I'm so much better now, but I still have some really bad days, and there is no one I feel comfortable sharing it with because people get very UNcomfortable about it.
Jess, I'm also a widow, it's been 1.5 years and I totally understand how you feel. The rest of my small circle moved on very quickly and I've taken longer than they expected, so I've learned to just not show it, and to keep myself very busy with work so I don't have to interact with them. It's very sad when the people you thought would be there for you just aren't, and some disappeared entirely. My condolences to you and just know there are other people who know what it's like. This election has hit a very tender spot for a lot of us by pointing out that most people suck, they don't care, and they no longer can be bothered to even pretend to be civilized.
Being rushed through a shitty time sucks. I have a Pollyanna-ish friend like this, too. She’s a compartmentaliser and she copes by not thinking about things and I’m more of a feel shit, whinge, and wallow for bit type 😅 I feel like it helps me move through it faster, but I get that it feels overwhelming and scary for others especially if they feel like if they engage with those feelings they might never go away. It’s hard to reconcile how people have voted against their own best interests, isn’t it?! I’m in NZ, but I’ve been disappointed to see the number of people I know who support Trump and our own current government, who do not and would not look kindly on them.
Two things that have made my day and my mood better today- the picture of David, don’t quite know why, maybe misery loves company? And this quote from Hayden “his lifespan probably roughly coincides with the length of a presidential term anyway”. Big deep sigh and I’m going to take my dog for a walk.
His brain is already 90% jelly. Watch the clip of him trying to open the door of a garbage truck. But I'm less sure than Hayden is about the unelectibility (sp?) of Vance. They are in a position now where, if they play it right, elections won't matter. Will they give it a year or so to gently boil the frog? Or attempt to beat the German 'break the constitution any-percent' speedrun record of 3 months?
I doubt Trump gives two shits one way or the other, he's only in it to stay out of jail and maybe score some more sweet bribe money. All that other Project 2025 stuff is probably deeply uninteresting to him, lacking as it does any mention of hamberders. On the other hand they can probably put anything in front of him and he'll sign it as long as they *do* bring him a tray of 'berders for lunch afterward.
Yes, I fear with you, Simon. But maybe I'll be spared seeing the outcome, being of an age with the orange man (although a lot healthier and, I think, still retaining some wits?!).
You hit the nail in the head Simon...winning the election was Trumps keep out of jail card. He's 78 & clearly suffering from some form of mental impairment... maybe he'll have a heart attack soon from all those berders...
That is my impression of his openness to manipulation. Especially now he's cosied up to that well known man-of-the-people, Elon Musk.
I just hope that all the people who, last time, kept going "what he meant to say was actually..." stop doing that, stop making excuses for him, stop giving him an inch and hoping that'll appease him enough to leave them alone, and just say "No. That's a dumb/illegal idea and we're not doing that."
I happened to see something recently that included Biden in 2019 and when looking at that it's quite clear to see how much has changed in his physical and mental capacity between then and now. So then I went and found some Trump stuff from 2016 and while it's harder because there wasn't the same intellectual vigor in the initial content it definitely feels like a lot of the same. I'm betting we're going to see decline in the near future, and that it will likely be dismissed and minimized by the surrounding circle exactly as what we just experienced for the last several years.
I find it fascinating to hear the words 'intellectual vigor' and 'Trump' together in a sentence whose topic is not how those concepts don't go together.
I loved how a spokesperson attempted to explain Trump's rambling old man talk (tangential speech, it's called) as some kind of deliberate oratory strategy:
"“President Trump is the greatest orator in political history and his patented ‘weave’ is a brilliant method to convey important stories and explain policies,” spokesman Steven Cheung said. “The media is too stupid and ignorant to understand or comprehend what is happening in the country and, therefore, is unable to accurately report on President Trump’s “President Trump is the greatest orator in political history and his patented ‘weave’ is a brilliant method to convey important stories and explain policies,” spokesman Steven Cheung said. “The media is too stupid and ignorant to understand or comprehend what is happening in the country and, therefore, is unable to accurately report on President Trump’s achievements while in office and the pro-America agenda he will implement in his second term.” while in office and the pro-America agenda he will implement in his second term.”
In a world where I agree with you on so many things, when you said on the Election episode of Flightless Bird that you thought Trump would win, I wanted you to be wrong. I wanted to say, no, David. Logical, rational people who want Law and Order wouldn’t elect a convicted criminal (ignoring his love of Putin and the long list of other atrocities). But you weren’t. This time, like many other times, you were right. And I’m sad in a way I can’t quite put my finger on. I’m a white childless dog woman in my late forties who works from home. A lot of the ticket items have no direct effect on my life. But, I look around and see how they affect others- which I think is the point. I care deeply about the bigger picture. And right now it feels like willful ignorance at best (racism, fascism, misogyny are DEFINITELY in the mix) has won this week. And it’s heartbreaking.
So I’m sad right now. But I see great humans (Luke from your quilt episode as just one example) not giving up, staying in the fight, and refusing to accept that one election has ruined this country. I won’t let hate change my love and concern for other people.
All this to say, thank you. Your thoughtful discussions on all the things keeps me grounded and hopeful that the do’ers will keep doing the good work.
Yeah, I didn't want to be right about Trump, or shove it down people's throats (lets live in bliss for a few more days was my approach!) - but it was just so clear to me he was going to win. Harris had us in the bubble of mania - but *such* a bubble. It sucks. Most of America just wants "change" and vote on emotions, right? And here we are. Horrible.
A recent Heather Cox Richardson post suggests that they wanted change to rescue a failing economy and stop a crime wave, neither of which were actually happening, but they were gaslighted into living in opposite-land.
Yes! You said that so much better than I could, it does feel like all those things have won. The ignorance is sad and even more depressing is the people who openly and proudly endorse social hierarchies have been given even more permission to drop the pretence now. It sucks.
I feel pretty strongly that Kamala was put in an impossible situation with Biden dropping out so late, and given the time, misinformation and odds stacked against her, ran an objectively strong campaign. Hindsight is 20/20, but I understand the logic of all the decisions she made. I don't want to be reductionist or over-simplify, but I get strong feelings of a black woman left holding the bag for the failures of her white counterparts.
There are a million points of blame that can be laid - the spineless Republicans who criticized Trump after 1/6, then started kissing the hand again, Biden and democratic leadership for making him the heir apparent to the 2024 candidacy when it was clear folks were unexcited about the prospect, the millions of democrats who voted in 2020 and inexplicably sat this year out, the media for normalizing Trump's insanity while holding Harris to an impossible standard, fuckers like Elon Musk for allowing disinformation to run rampant, single-issue voters who have now facilitated a worsening of the very genocide that WAS their single issue, and of course, the tens of millions of Americans who cast their votes for such a hate-filled campaign when evidence overwhelmingly pointed to the fact that it was based on policies that won't actually help anyone but the uber-rich. Plus, it's clear that democratic leadership is out of touch with the electorate and that polling is broken. Just an enormous clusterfuck all around. And I'm definitely feeling the despair. And the rage. And the disbelief. And the terror. The pic of David actually encapsulates my soul pretty well at the moment.
Actually, one of the things that makes me absolutely furious, is that anyone in the Democratic Party seriously thought that Kamala, not only a last-minute candidate, but a woman of colour, could win, in this toxic time? What were they thinking? She might have, if they'd taken that radical decision to its obvious conclusion, brought Bernie and other left wingers on board, condemned Israel and shouted for the environment, but they did their best to alienate those people, while presenting the 'centre' (many of whom are quietly racist), with someone they wouldn't vote for.
Yep, will say again "it's clear that democratic leadership is out of touch with the electorate." It felt like the whole strategy to success, and to overcoming the inherent racism and sexism that this country has embedded in its core was painting Trump as a bogeyman. And clearly enough of the country was not paying attention or straight up don't care about what a threat Trump is.
This just gave me the first genuine laughter I've had since Tuesday night. Thank you. Although now I'm laughing and crying because THIS IS FUCKING HORRIBLE. Anyone got marshmallows?
I did mean your photo....but I do see some similarities between the 2 and I second the motion to have you crying photoshopped onto the statue of liberty
Except the fingers. Absent evidence to the contrary I assume David has the standard number and shape of fingers on each hand. We only get a reasonable look at one hand from the photo.
Please thank Hayden as “Even if Peter Thiel doesn’t shoot Trump with a ray gun and install his favourite Silicon Valley replicant as God Emperor, we’re still in for at least four years of Robert F. Kennedy trying to replace vaccines with shots of linseed oil” gave me my first chuckle of today. Gallows humor is always appreciated. Though from reading the comments on yesterday’s post, I’m not sure I’m ready to jump ship to NZ either.
I’ve been telling people today I feel torn between fighting for the country I want to see and fleeing for some place “better.” But it would seem that fascism is on the rise in a lot of places, not just the US (we just happen to be trendsetters, yay!). Things are shitty, and I feel shitty. Thanks for the permission. 💜
RFK is going to wipe out so many Trumpers with his 'drink raw milk!' policy he's going to implement. It'll be like another pandemic. Good for the electorate?
I've surprised myself by how numb I've felt the past couple days. I was a wreck leading up to and especially on election day. But around 8pm, when it started to really become clear what America had done, it all just drained out of me. I think if it had been a narrower win, on either side, my anxiety would've kept pumping. But now I don't know what to do. I like to think of myself as a very empathetic person, but I can't muster up any feeling for Trump voters who willingly put themselves in harm's way.
I guess I'm not afraid of feeling sad for a while, but I'm worried this whole experience has made me a worse, more callous person.
I voted absentee but was dropping off the ballot in person, so I didn't vote until Monday afternoon. I had been generally fine, knew the probabilities and that it was quite likely he'd be elected, but seeing his name on the ballot again set me off. Immediately had a panic attack. Stayed in a state of anxiety most of Tuesday. I had to keep reminding myself that it always looks better for Republicans early on. The night wore on. I went to sleep, figuring I'd wake up to unwelcome news. Then it happened and I've felt kinda numb as well aside from some background noise of uncertainty.
Early Wednesday morning, my mother came into the room while I was crying and asked what was the matter. She berated me for being so upset because "you can't do anything about it." (She voted for Harris but is not engaged with the world) No. I refuse not to feel this pain, not to wholly acknowledge how fucked this is. We'll push on, sure, but it's imperative that we feel the full weight of this so that we never get comfortable with it.
We can have a little despair, as a treat. I talked to my mom, a straight white boomer who loves to spout toxic positivity (who I love dearly despite that), last night and she urged me to watch Kamala's consession speech because it was "really uplifting", and said it would help me and my queer teen "feel better". I said "okay, yeah, maybe" and changed the subject. I have not watched the speech and don't know if I care to at all, at least not now. I'm too angry, and wallowing in that and a bit of despair feels good right now so I'm letting myself indulge a bit. Really looking forward to that scream in the woods when I go camping with my best friend this weekend, and a lot of commiseration and grieving. Maybe when I get back home I'll feel a little more like "getting back to work" but for now I just want to take care of myself and my kiddo and hold space for whatever emotions we're feeling come up. Thanks, David and Hayden, for acknowledging that feeling.
love when you hit send and immediately spot a typo in an app that doesn't allow editing (concession not consession lol) 😅 anyway, I also wanted to say this gave me a good laugh that I really needed: "Have a massive sook on me." My cat, who is a massive coward and crybaby who loves to yell at me constantly about everything from her food dish being empty to me not sitting somewhere she can sit on me (god love her), is named Sookie. I call her Sook, or "my sook" as nicknames. I did not realize "sook" was a word with any meaning, so imagine how loudly I cackled when I googled the definition and found it means "A crybaby, a complainer, a whinger; a shy or timid person, a wimp; a coward." 🤣
That is so cute. I didn’t realise “having a sook” was a kiwi/Aus thing. Enjoy camping and being in nature. It’s the only thing that gives me true solace and gratitude these days.
Just so you know, "sook" (pronounced the same as "soot") is usually used in a positive way. While the definition you found isn't wrong, it could given the impression that it's an insult.
I prefer AOCs 'well, yes we are kinda fucked but there's stuff we can do...' video on her instagram. Rip off the bandaid, we dont have time for anything less than the absolute brutal truth.
Thank you! I took 24hrs away from the internet but was very much looking forward to a Webworm notification.
My personal crying Statue of Liberty barf-inducer is the sea of one sentence Instagram images along the lines of “people would rather have a rapist in charge than a woman *sadface*” as if that’s all there is to it. I don’t vote based on the gender of candidates (but admit a percentage do). I vote based on what candidates stand for and in this case, it wasn’t much.
I hoped the Dems would’ve learned from shivving Bernie in the primaries for Clinton, but they’ve once again gone all in with misplaced optimism citizens will just be thrilled to vote for a woman, even when they’re offering a shit sandwich of watered down policies. People want real change and neither women were offering that, their gender wasn’t the primary hold up here so enough already.
God I needed this - especially after I just sat back down at my desk, at work, after crying in the bathroom. I work at a firm that’s flexible on WFH (still quietly looked down upon IMO) so yesterday when I let everyone know I’d be working from home, I thought most everyone would be as well. I was the only one. It’s hard to understand how some people CAN compartmentalize, whereas some of us with distorted brain chemicals can not. I literally couldn’t get out of bed, but I had to work. I felt sick, angry, exhausted, depressed etc - I needed to grieve. So grieve I did, in between slack messages and staring at floor plans all day. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one trying to spew love and optimism right now when 72 million people worship a demagogue.
I’ve had this comment box open on my browser for a while now because I both want community but also don’t want to think about this anymore. That’s a privilege, to be quite honest, as a Canadian who isn’t directly or immediately impacted by this election. But also, it feels like it’s a harbinger of what’s to come and that’s really scary.
There was this youtube clip a LONG time ago that a mom shared of her arguing with her toddler about whether her toddler was holding an onion or an apple. Her toddler steadfastly insisted that it was an apple even when her mom showed her why and how it was actually an onion. Finally, her mom encouraged her to taste the apple and then try and taste the onion and see what it tasted like to her. The little girl bit into it, mouth puckering, and still insisted it was an apple. This is how I feel when it comes to Trump supporters. How do we even begin to understand one another or find common ground or even have a conversation when we don’t even have the same basis of reality?
I tend to cry a lot more about things like this than other people I know and often feel silly or embarrassed, so it’s nice to have a bit of solidarity about allowing ourselves to be upset.
As a disabled person who literally cannot leave the country, due to both lack of funds and the fact that other countries generally don’t let disabled people move to them, I have literally no choice but to make the best of it—an impossible take, but one on which my life depends. I have been impressed so far by the people who are most in danger as a result of this outcome talking about their resolution to be there for each other. The kindness from the people who are hurting the most is, dare I say it, inspiring (barf, gag).
What I don’t care for is the blame flying around and the constant admonitions to be nice to the people who voted for this because they’re people too, okay? Leftists always get the blame when things go poorly for Democrats despite the fact leftists pretty fucking reliably turn out in spite of the scorn from the right—something that works against us, because it means Dems don’t bother to reach out to us, instead preferring to constantly reach right and shift the Overton window further and further towards, well, where we’re at. As for being so very considerate of the feefees of the people celebrating their victory right now, they’re adults. It’s been eight years. They know what they’re doing. Their fears of imaginary bogeymen who just happen to be trans and brown are valid, apparently, but the anger from the people they constantly dehumanize isn’t. Personally I’m only interested in extending my limited resources to making sure people at risk are okay, and I have nothing left for any who, at best, choose to remain ignorant and self-centered. I’m simply not interested in excuses; if your version of “safety” involves dehumanizing actual people who are different from you, you are doing a bad thing! That’s bad!! I don’t care if someone lied to you to get you there! You’re an adult!!
Anyway. I think anyone who feels despair right now is perfectly valid. It’s scary. People are going to die. It’s going to be a miserable time for a long time. As a millennial, I know we’ve always been dealt a bad hand. As the first generation to grow up under Reaganomics, we’re the ones whose futures were mortgaged for short-term excess. We’re the first generation to end up poorer than our parents. Younger generations aren’t faring any better, especially those who had parts of their childhood stolen by an atrociously-handled global pandemic. And this doesn’t just go for us in the US—as Foreign Man in a Foreign Land said, “when America sneezes, we die.” It’s bad, it’s grim, and even if it’s not as bad as a worst-case scenario, it’s still going to be really really bad. I don’t have a way to conclude this essay! Everything sucks!!! Just keep looking out for each other. If you feel despair, stay connected. If you’re managing for the moment, hold up others who are sinking. That’s all.
Sorry you're stuck there, Chelle. And I'm very sorry America just joined the other countries headed to a bad place. ...
But, David, why would you suggest people come to NZ, for escape??! There's none to be found here. Not since an equally bat-shit (self-indulgent) majority here voted for right-wing, would-be despots. A year into this term, NZ is in a very bad place - and 50% of the country still avoids the truth of it. Those in need are bearing the brunt of bad policies that have turned back progress, and it's only going to get worse since America voted Trump.
FYI: Yesterday, under cover of eyes turned to America, ACT party [one of the government's coalition partners] introduced a Bill to Parliament seeking to change and destroy our founding Treaty [of Waitangi]. It wasn't due until next week - in case anyone thinks there wasn't anything sneaky about this - and protests were planned. Our weak PM, who could stop it from proceeding next week, won't be in the country, leaving one of the Bill's backers in charge. Go figure! [Mr Avoidance will be off glad-handing some other poor unknowing sod.]
So...don't think you're going to escape madness, cruelty and the rich getting richer by flying to Aotearoa New Zealand. But do come for a holiday, soon. It is a beautiful place ...and you'd better come here before this government allows miners to dig it up on fast-track permissions. ...
My heart goes out to the 49% of Americans who do have one. The misogynists leading the other 51%, I ill-wish you, along with our lot.
well said....we have our own versions of tRump at the wheel......this ain't no happy paradise for many of us. Excellent words Annie and I tautoko all of them.
Thank you for bringing up this point about disabled Americans. Most people do not realize how utterly trapped we are. Appropriately, the stress from that very thought made me crash the hardest I ever have; couldn't move for like 4 days after the election. 🙃
Toxic positivity is ruining my well-earned sulk.
THIS!!!
I would wear that T shirt
My current favourite shirt says "Sorry I'm late, I didn't want to come". Perfect for Casual Fridays
Blatant self-promotion: https://www.webworm.store/merch/p/greater-horrors-t-shirt
Whenever I've had a really tough time and one of my pollyanna-leaning friends wants to rush me through it, I remind them that they know me well enough to know I'll eventually be ok, but I MUST wallow for a minute. This election was a big deal to a lot of people and it's been SO incredibly personal - knowing that people I'm in some kind of relationship with have chosen a man who so blatantly disregards the humanity of so many people to lead our country. It's depressing as fuck to know my sister, who was born in Mexico without a birth certificate because she wasn't born in a hospital, voted for a guy who'd deport her in a hot second. Who thinks our niece is less than because she was born male. Who depended on public assistance a great deal of her life, but now wants nobody else to have it. *throws hands up in despair*
I think Americans are so bad at sitting in sadness. New Zealanders, too, for that matter. This idea of OK GET UP AND GO AND FIGHT NOW is just exhausting. Let us just be exhausted for a lil' bit!
Agreed. I'm an American that's been told my whole life to "get up and keep working, no one cares about you." So when I woke up the next morning it was really difficult for me to sit in that shit but I had to. I cut off all social media and news sources and drank for several days. My pity party is over and I'm back to paying attention but I so agree with give us a moment to wallow in the shit and the fact that we have to listen to his ramblings and look at his punchable face. Thank you for coming to my bullshit whiny talk.
I think humans in general are bad at sitting in sadness. Widowhood taught me a lot about that - I was expected to kinda get over it and move on way before my mind was ready. I'm so much better now, but I still have some really bad days, and there is no one I feel comfortable sharing it with because people get very UNcomfortable about it.
Jess, I'm also a widow, it's been 1.5 years and I totally understand how you feel. The rest of my small circle moved on very quickly and I've taken longer than they expected, so I've learned to just not show it, and to keep myself very busy with work so I don't have to interact with them. It's very sad when the people you thought would be there for you just aren't, and some disappeared entirely. My condolences to you and just know there are other people who know what it's like. This election has hit a very tender spot for a lot of us by pointing out that most people suck, they don't care, and they no longer can be bothered to even pretend to be civilized.
Being rushed through a shitty time sucks. I have a Pollyanna-ish friend like this, too. She’s a compartmentaliser and she copes by not thinking about things and I’m more of a feel shit, whinge, and wallow for bit type 😅 I feel like it helps me move through it faster, but I get that it feels overwhelming and scary for others especially if they feel like if they engage with those feelings they might never go away. It’s hard to reconcile how people have voted against their own best interests, isn’t it?! I’m in NZ, but I’ve been disappointed to see the number of people I know who support Trump and our own current government, who do not and would not look kindly on them.
Wallowing is good! Wallowing is important!
Two things that have made my day and my mood better today- the picture of David, don’t quite know why, maybe misery loves company? And this quote from Hayden “his lifespan probably roughly coincides with the length of a presidential term anyway”. Big deep sigh and I’m going to take my dog for a walk.
His brain is already 90% jelly. Watch the clip of him trying to open the door of a garbage truck. But I'm less sure than Hayden is about the unelectibility (sp?) of Vance. They are in a position now where, if they play it right, elections won't matter. Will they give it a year or so to gently boil the frog? Or attempt to beat the German 'break the constitution any-percent' speedrun record of 3 months?
I doubt Trump gives two shits one way or the other, he's only in it to stay out of jail and maybe score some more sweet bribe money. All that other Project 2025 stuff is probably deeply uninteresting to him, lacking as it does any mention of hamberders. On the other hand they can probably put anything in front of him and he'll sign it as long as they *do* bring him a tray of 'berders for lunch afterward.
Yes, I fear with you, Simon. But maybe I'll be spared seeing the outcome, being of an age with the orange man (although a lot healthier and, I think, still retaining some wits?!).
You hit the nail in the head Simon...winning the election was Trumps keep out of jail card. He's 78 & clearly suffering from some form of mental impairment... maybe he'll have a heart attack soon from all those berders...
That is my impression of his openness to manipulation. Especially now he's cosied up to that well known man-of-the-people, Elon Musk.
I just hope that all the people who, last time, kept going "what he meant to say was actually..." stop doing that, stop making excuses for him, stop giving him an inch and hoping that'll appease him enough to leave them alone, and just say "No. That's a dumb/illegal idea and we're not doing that."
I am glad you enjoyed my misery. That photo makes me laugh SO much - just the state of it all. And a reminder that times does tend to do some healing.
I happened to see something recently that included Biden in 2019 and when looking at that it's quite clear to see how much has changed in his physical and mental capacity between then and now. So then I went and found some Trump stuff from 2016 and while it's harder because there wasn't the same intellectual vigor in the initial content it definitely feels like a lot of the same. I'm betting we're going to see decline in the near future, and that it will likely be dismissed and minimized by the surrounding circle exactly as what we just experienced for the last several years.
I find it fascinating to hear the words 'intellectual vigor' and 'Trump' together in a sentence whose topic is not how those concepts don't go together.
I loved how a spokesperson attempted to explain Trump's rambling old man talk (tangential speech, it's called) as some kind of deliberate oratory strategy:
"“President Trump is the greatest orator in political history and his patented ‘weave’ is a brilliant method to convey important stories and explain policies,” spokesman Steven Cheung said. “The media is too stupid and ignorant to understand or comprehend what is happening in the country and, therefore, is unable to accurately report on President Trump’s “President Trump is the greatest orator in political history and his patented ‘weave’ is a brilliant method to convey important stories and explain policies,” spokesman Steven Cheung said. “The media is too stupid and ignorant to understand or comprehend what is happening in the country and, therefore, is unable to accurately report on President Trump’s achievements while in office and the pro-America agenda he will implement in his second term.” while in office and the pro-America agenda he will implement in his second term.”
In a world where I agree with you on so many things, when you said on the Election episode of Flightless Bird that you thought Trump would win, I wanted you to be wrong. I wanted to say, no, David. Logical, rational people who want Law and Order wouldn’t elect a convicted criminal (ignoring his love of Putin and the long list of other atrocities). But you weren’t. This time, like many other times, you were right. And I’m sad in a way I can’t quite put my finger on. I’m a white childless dog woman in my late forties who works from home. A lot of the ticket items have no direct effect on my life. But, I look around and see how they affect others- which I think is the point. I care deeply about the bigger picture. And right now it feels like willful ignorance at best (racism, fascism, misogyny are DEFINITELY in the mix) has won this week. And it’s heartbreaking.
So I’m sad right now. But I see great humans (Luke from your quilt episode as just one example) not giving up, staying in the fight, and refusing to accept that one election has ruined this country. I won’t let hate change my love and concern for other people.
All this to say, thank you. Your thoughtful discussions on all the things keeps me grounded and hopeful that the do’ers will keep doing the good work.
Thanks, childless dog-woman :P
Yeah, I didn't want to be right about Trump, or shove it down people's throats (lets live in bliss for a few more days was my approach!) - but it was just so clear to me he was going to win. Harris had us in the bubble of mania - but *such* a bubble. It sucks. Most of America just wants "change" and vote on emotions, right? And here we are. Horrible.
Hang in there.
A recent Heather Cox Richardson post suggests that they wanted change to rescue a failing economy and stop a crime wave, neither of which were actually happening, but they were gaslighted into living in opposite-land.
Yes! You said that so much better than I could, it does feel like all those things have won. The ignorance is sad and even more depressing is the people who openly and proudly endorse social hierarchies have been given even more permission to drop the pretence now. It sucks.
I feel pretty strongly that Kamala was put in an impossible situation with Biden dropping out so late, and given the time, misinformation and odds stacked against her, ran an objectively strong campaign. Hindsight is 20/20, but I understand the logic of all the decisions she made. I don't want to be reductionist or over-simplify, but I get strong feelings of a black woman left holding the bag for the failures of her white counterparts.
There are a million points of blame that can be laid - the spineless Republicans who criticized Trump after 1/6, then started kissing the hand again, Biden and democratic leadership for making him the heir apparent to the 2024 candidacy when it was clear folks were unexcited about the prospect, the millions of democrats who voted in 2020 and inexplicably sat this year out, the media for normalizing Trump's insanity while holding Harris to an impossible standard, fuckers like Elon Musk for allowing disinformation to run rampant, single-issue voters who have now facilitated a worsening of the very genocide that WAS their single issue, and of course, the tens of millions of Americans who cast their votes for such a hate-filled campaign when evidence overwhelmingly pointed to the fact that it was based on policies that won't actually help anyone but the uber-rich. Plus, it's clear that democratic leadership is out of touch with the electorate and that polling is broken. Just an enormous clusterfuck all around. And I'm definitely feeling the despair. And the rage. And the disbelief. And the terror. The pic of David actually encapsulates my soul pretty well at the moment.
For those of you trying to strike a balance between feeling dread and trying to not be consumed entirely by it, this article was super helpful for me: https://wagingnonviolence.org/2024/11/10-things-to-do-if-trump-wins/
Actually, one of the things that makes me absolutely furious, is that anyone in the Democratic Party seriously thought that Kamala, not only a last-minute candidate, but a woman of colour, could win, in this toxic time? What were they thinking? She might have, if they'd taken that radical decision to its obvious conclusion, brought Bernie and other left wingers on board, condemned Israel and shouted for the environment, but they did their best to alienate those people, while presenting the 'centre' (many of whom are quietly racist), with someone they wouldn't vote for.
Yep, will say again "it's clear that democratic leadership is out of touch with the electorate." It felt like the whole strategy to success, and to overcoming the inherent racism and sexism that this country has embedded in its core was painting Trump as a bogeyman. And clearly enough of the country was not paying attention or straight up don't care about what a threat Trump is.
To be fair, if I was looking for an image to sum up my own mental state right now then that photo would be it.
Me, or the Statue of Liberty?!
We need someone to photoshop your crying face on to the Statue of Liberty's crying face.
This just gave me the first genuine laughter I've had since Tuesday night. Thank you. Although now I'm laughing and crying because THIS IS FUCKING HORRIBLE. Anyone got marshmallows?
I don't understand people who don't like marshmallows. Makes no sense to me.
Yeeeesssssssssss
I did mean your photo....but I do see some similarities between the 2 and I second the motion to have you crying photoshopped onto the statue of liberty
Except the fingers. Absent evidence to the contrary I assume David has the standard number and shape of fingers on each hand. We only get a reasonable look at one hand from the photo.
Why does AI consistently give people an extra finger?!
It is giving everybody the finger
Please thank Hayden as “Even if Peter Thiel doesn’t shoot Trump with a ray gun and install his favourite Silicon Valley replicant as God Emperor, we’re still in for at least four years of Robert F. Kennedy trying to replace vaccines with shots of linseed oil” gave me my first chuckle of today. Gallows humor is always appreciated. Though from reading the comments on yesterday’s post, I’m not sure I’m ready to jump ship to NZ either.
I’ve been telling people today I feel torn between fighting for the country I want to see and fleeing for some place “better.” But it would seem that fascism is on the rise in a lot of places, not just the US (we just happen to be trendsetters, yay!). Things are shitty, and I feel shitty. Thanks for the permission. 💜
💯 that sentence gave me a very well needed giggle!!
Well done Hayden!
RFK is going to wipe out so many Trumpers with his 'drink raw milk!' policy he's going to implement. It'll be like another pandemic. Good for the electorate?
Sadly, yes, Alannah. See my reply comment to Chelle, ref coming to NZ. 'Better' is no longer to be found here :{
I've surprised myself by how numb I've felt the past couple days. I was a wreck leading up to and especially on election day. But around 8pm, when it started to really become clear what America had done, it all just drained out of me. I think if it had been a narrower win, on either side, my anxiety would've kept pumping. But now I don't know what to do. I like to think of myself as a very empathetic person, but I can't muster up any feeling for Trump voters who willingly put themselves in harm's way.
I guess I'm not afraid of feeling sad for a while, but I'm worried this whole experience has made me a worse, more callous person.
Each day the emotions kinda hit and change in different ways too, right?
I voted absentee but was dropping off the ballot in person, so I didn't vote until Monday afternoon. I had been generally fine, knew the probabilities and that it was quite likely he'd be elected, but seeing his name on the ballot again set me off. Immediately had a panic attack. Stayed in a state of anxiety most of Tuesday. I had to keep reminding myself that it always looks better for Republicans early on. The night wore on. I went to sleep, figuring I'd wake up to unwelcome news. Then it happened and I've felt kinda numb as well aside from some background noise of uncertainty.
Early Wednesday morning, my mother came into the room while I was crying and asked what was the matter. She berated me for being so upset because "you can't do anything about it." (She voted for Harris but is not engaged with the world) No. I refuse not to feel this pain, not to wholly acknowledge how fucked this is. We'll push on, sure, but it's imperative that we feel the full weight of this so that we never get comfortable with it.
Crying David is cute just saying.
A DISGUSTING MESS!
You’re our disgusting mess.
Plus it’s good to see a man cry.
We can have a little despair, as a treat. I talked to my mom, a straight white boomer who loves to spout toxic positivity (who I love dearly despite that), last night and she urged me to watch Kamala's consession speech because it was "really uplifting", and said it would help me and my queer teen "feel better". I said "okay, yeah, maybe" and changed the subject. I have not watched the speech and don't know if I care to at all, at least not now. I'm too angry, and wallowing in that and a bit of despair feels good right now so I'm letting myself indulge a bit. Really looking forward to that scream in the woods when I go camping with my best friend this weekend, and a lot of commiseration and grieving. Maybe when I get back home I'll feel a little more like "getting back to work" but for now I just want to take care of myself and my kiddo and hold space for whatever emotions we're feeling come up. Thanks, David and Hayden, for acknowledging that feeling.
love when you hit send and immediately spot a typo in an app that doesn't allow editing (concession not consession lol) 😅 anyway, I also wanted to say this gave me a good laugh that I really needed: "Have a massive sook on me." My cat, who is a massive coward and crybaby who loves to yell at me constantly about everything from her food dish being empty to me not sitting somewhere she can sit on me (god love her), is named Sookie. I call her Sook, or "my sook" as nicknames. I did not realize "sook" was a word with any meaning, so imagine how loudly I cackled when I googled the definition and found it means "A crybaby, a complainer, a whinger; a shy or timid person, a wimp; a coward." 🤣
That is so cute. I didn’t realise “having a sook” was a kiwi/Aus thing. Enjoy camping and being in nature. It’s the only thing that gives me true solace and gratitude these days.
Just so you know, "sook" (pronounced the same as "soot") is usually used in a positive way. While the definition you found isn't wrong, it could given the impression that it's an insult.
I prefer AOCs 'well, yes we are kinda fucked but there's stuff we can do...' video on her instagram. Rip off the bandaid, we dont have time for anything less than the absolute brutal truth.
Thank you! I took 24hrs away from the internet but was very much looking forward to a Webworm notification.
My personal crying Statue of Liberty barf-inducer is the sea of one sentence Instagram images along the lines of “people would rather have a rapist in charge than a woman *sadface*” as if that’s all there is to it. I don’t vote based on the gender of candidates (but admit a percentage do). I vote based on what candidates stand for and in this case, it wasn’t much.
I hoped the Dems would’ve learned from shivving Bernie in the primaries for Clinton, but they’ve once again gone all in with misplaced optimism citizens will just be thrilled to vote for a woman, even when they’re offering a shit sandwich of watered down policies. People want real change and neither women were offering that, their gender wasn’t the primary hold up here so enough already.
Thank you. I'm getting tired of the sexism. Turnout for dems was similar to pre 2020 turnout. It wasn't her gender.
God I needed this - especially after I just sat back down at my desk, at work, after crying in the bathroom. I work at a firm that’s flexible on WFH (still quietly looked down upon IMO) so yesterday when I let everyone know I’d be working from home, I thought most everyone would be as well. I was the only one. It’s hard to understand how some people CAN compartmentalize, whereas some of us with distorted brain chemicals can not. I literally couldn’t get out of bed, but I had to work. I felt sick, angry, exhausted, depressed etc - I needed to grieve. So grieve I did, in between slack messages and staring at floor plans all day. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one trying to spew love and optimism right now when 72 million people worship a demagogue.
I’ve had this comment box open on my browser for a while now because I both want community but also don’t want to think about this anymore. That’s a privilege, to be quite honest, as a Canadian who isn’t directly or immediately impacted by this election. But also, it feels like it’s a harbinger of what’s to come and that’s really scary.
There was this youtube clip a LONG time ago that a mom shared of her arguing with her toddler about whether her toddler was holding an onion or an apple. Her toddler steadfastly insisted that it was an apple even when her mom showed her why and how it was actually an onion. Finally, her mom encouraged her to taste the apple and then try and taste the onion and see what it tasted like to her. The little girl bit into it, mouth puckering, and still insisted it was an apple. This is how I feel when it comes to Trump supporters. How do we even begin to understand one another or find common ground or even have a conversation when we don’t even have the same basis of reality?
I tend to cry a lot more about things like this than other people I know and often feel silly or embarrassed, so it’s nice to have a bit of solidarity about allowing ourselves to be upset.
We are with you!