154 Comments
Apr 28, 2023Liked by David Farrier

Ah yes. This is something I’ve seen quite a few times in many decades of being in I.T. and web development.

If I had a dollar for every Wordpress plug-in related hack I’ve had to clean up, I would have quite a few dollars in a bag with a large dollar sign printed on it 🤔

The ‘oh we didn’t know we had to install updates, I thought you did that!’ after the ‘we want it done cheap as possible, and the boss’s son is good with computers so he will look after it’ conversation, that gets conveniently forgotten when you send them the bill 👍

Then again this could be Big Butter trying to hack the poor olde vegans again. I like Big Butter, I cannot lie...

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I did get the sense the spokesperson didn’t believe me when I first told them. Also I’ve done a bit more digging and the company they used is... well... I’m not sure yet, but let’s say I’m not inspired by them.

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Apr 28, 2023Liked by David Farrier

The plot, much like a chocolate sauce that is totally not going to be used in a porno, thickens

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Yeah she seemed to think it was some kind of prank at first? Which I can't blame her for really because the situation is batshit. I hope they don't use that company again

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The SEO business is a minefield TBH, so many jackasses out there creaming it and taking advantage for small hard working NZers - imagine paying $500 a month for someone to trust you to look after your website only to find they’d used a template off another similar company and had all their SEOs on it. Not to mention links to their actual page - and they WERE supposed to be installing updates 😂

There are some very untrustworthy technical people out there for sure! If only there was a reputable source for the technophobes of hey! They is how much you should pay and what you’ll get for that ... 😞

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Urgh, the reused Wordpress template ‘web designers’. The worst!

The dark art SEO world is a minefield for sure. So many crooks out there, promising everything are delivering so little, and getting many sites banned or demoted from search engines with their nefarious practices 😬

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An old (in both senses of the word) boss got scammed out of like $3k from a call out of the blue offering to get the cafe on the front page of Google. They just took the money and ran but probably could’ve sucked the business into a more lucrative $500/mo scheme looking back!

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My PR collective has written about this. SEO IS A GRIFT. http://blog.absolutegeni.us/post/4

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Those dad jokes aren't what keep us married 😉

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What?! It’s my best feature!

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Apr 28, 2023Liked by David Farrier

Oh. my. god. that was brilliant start to finish. Genuine cry-laugh inducing. I love wibwum so much.

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author

Important to have a wee giggle during the weekend :)

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Howdy. Jackson here! This was a wild ride to go on. Thanks David for publishing. Was great to get a genuine scoop (of hydrogenated coconut oil) up on Webworm.

If anyone has questions I’ll be lurking.

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thank you for wibwum.

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No, thank you, your highness.

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Please provide a follow up if you get more info! This is hilarious!

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That covered the afternoon's messaging entertainment, thanks Jackson

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What was the best response you got?

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So far, "eww wash your hands!" 🤣

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I have so many questions

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The dude wanting to remain anonymous and booty bounce song side note were iconic 😆 I’ll have that song in my head all week!

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Congrats on your scoop, Jackson!

I'm really looking forward to any follow-ups as I am literally crying with laughter over your post, and some of these comments...

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Apr 28, 2023Liked by David Farrier

Thank you for some much-needed levity.

"Wibwum" sounds like the beginnings of an idea for a limited edition, Australia only T-shirt.

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I’d buy a “Wibwum” shirt so fast

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I’d get a WibWum tshirt as long as it had some link to sexy porno links

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Saaame

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Yasssssssss. The Webworm worm wearing one of those hats with dangly corks.

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I cannot IMAGINE coming in on a Monday to this information. Bless everyone involved. Hilarious.

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I’m imagining a Succession-esque crisis meeting, everyone around a board table, chocolate cherry crackles being passed around, “WHAT DO WE DO??” being yelled by people with despondent faces.

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It would be the last straw for me. Hang up the phone and submit resignation letter immediately after 😆

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All that talk of ‘fixing the back end’. didn’t help either...

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Chocolate crackles are my absolute fav so this was very enjoyable. Sidebar: it’s quite cool that we were using coconut oil for kids’ party treats in the 80s before coconut oil was trendy. Kremelta hipsters 😂

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I know!!!!!! Honestly thought it was lard until now, lard that made damn good rice crackles and rocky road

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Apr 28, 2023Liked by David Farrier

So, if the multiverse theory is true, then right now some Norwegian dude is looking up some screw-my-wife-please porn and getting redirected to a recipe for Cherry Ripe Chocolate Crackles using New Zealand vegan lard.

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“Vegan lard” omg that has just catapulted Kremelta from the 80’s into the now, thank you for that laugh 😂 it seems so cool now

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That would be so disappointing.

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Apr 28, 2023Liked by David Farrier

Thanks for the chuckle on a rainy Friday. I think I like the sound of “Norske leona porno paradise hotel pupper & screw my wife please lene paradise” best

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Why “pupper”? That one stuck with me. Please don’t bring sweet innocent dogs into this filth.

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I can only hope it’s the name of the illicit love hotel and no actual dogs are involved

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I love the publishing timelines David, that us Kiwis get to wake up to new stories like an online version of a morning newspaper on the doorstep ☺️

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Haha yes and this sure beats NZH hands down!! 🤣

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Apr 28, 2023Liked by David Farrier

Oh my god thankyou thankyou thankyou David & Jackson! They say laughter is the best medicine & you two have just given me a huge dose! Have tears rolling down my face as I was reading it out to hubby.

You couldn't even make this shit up but I assure you the next time I make chocolate crackles they will include tears of laughter ....& very strange looks from my adult daughters as to wtf Mum is near wetting herself when dishing them out.

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This comment has made my day. Thank you.

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Oh my. And I thought baking was so .... vanilla hehehe. I'm happily sharing these recipes with my mum. She'll get a kick out of this. Thank you for the laugh to start my weekend off!

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Oh my! I was just planning to get some Kremelta today as a lard alternative for my Coronation Quiche. I anticipate it will be on the top shelf.

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Back room, behind the red curtain.

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“Wibwum” nothing is funnier to me than phonetically spelling kiwi accents. I cackled my way though this piece. Ground breaking work. Jackson cracked me up. Phenomenal.

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Thank you. The everyday shit kiwis get in Australia every time we say “six” is intolerable.

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I’ll never forget my friend telling me about the pain she went through asking for a pen at a job in Aussie - the poor Aussies were so confusing trying to rush around finding a pin. And then her surprise when they produced it and she had to explain no.... oh gosh sorry ... “a pin with unk un ut”

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Lol reading it out to my Oz hubby I was like 'Do I actually say Wibwurm like that??' 😆

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Apr 28, 2023Liked by David Farrier

Oh this gave me a much needed laugh today! 😂

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author

I suggest sending some recipes to a friend.

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We need a thread of screenshots of people’s reactions when sent the links! I have a few gems hahaha

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I've been sending quite a few out lmao

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Apr 29, 2023Liked by David Farrier

This is magic!!

My fav quote:

‘Disappointingly, Chocolate Custard Profiteroles is just “Chocolate Custard Profiteroles’. 😂 😂

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