I went to BC in the early 2000’s. I too was questioning my sexuality. I had feelings of same sex attraction to women and I lived in absolute fear that I was a lesbian and all encompassing self loathing. At times I was suicidal.
I distinctly remember absolutely abhorrent homophobic lectures by teachers disguised as biblical teachings. I asked if we are all sinners and equal in the eyes of the lord why such vitriol towards gay people? Why is the school against gay people taking leadership positions in the church? The response was that gay people were worse than sinners - amoral and disgusting.
I remember one form teacher proudly stating that his pharmacist wife refused to sell the morning after pill, because it was amoral and equating it to abortion. Sex Ed was essentially shaming young women about their bodies and their sexuality.
During the time I was at BC the decriminalisation of prostitution was going through parliament. My form teacher regularly used to lecture us about how horrific he thought the bill was, blind to any harm prevention to sex workers.
I was raised in a religious home by a mother who respected queer people, women and sex workers. My mother had gay friends who used to visit regularly. After much thought, I came to the conclusion that Jesus would have also been inclusive and respectful of queer people etc.. This led me to questioning the school’s approach. I was regularly given detentions for asking these questions as I was seen as being disrespectful or disruptive. It was eventually suggested by the school that I complete my schooling elsewhere and I left BC for a fantastic public school which helped heal the damage BC created. I am no longer religious but do respect inclusive christians.
God I wish I'd been at school the same time as you, and we could have talked!
2000 was my final year.
The self loathing is bonkers. And it makes the messaging from this school so far ("We're innocent! Silly criticisms! We do good!") all the more frustrating - as they just don't get it.
Zero empathy.
Zero compassion.
Just Bible Beating Bullshit.
Your mom sounds great. All while your school gave your detentions for being... human.
Your mother sounds like mine who, despite being sucked into most of the fundamentalist BS of the cult we grew up in, was so accepting of LGBTQI+. We once had Tim Barnett, the gay MP for Christchurch Central and his partner Ramone (whom I worked with for a time up in Wellington) over for a meal. I saw nothing bad, evil or disgusting about them. Instead I remember that they were such a lovely couple. In this they were like my mates Dave and Dave who brought such joy into my life.
Brilliant work , David! I can remember back in the mid seventies where Pentecostal churches were teaching “judgment begins at the house of the Lord.” Now it seems they don’t adhere to that at all. Christian churches seem beyond reproach, any criticism of them is interpreted as “persecution “ or “church bashing” , believers are told not to criticize leadership “do not touch the Lord’s anointed”, and integrated schools often funded by the tax payer have become cesspools of homophobia and bullying. Thank you David for helping to clean things up. My father in law was on the homosexual law reform committee in the early 70s. I respect him now so much for that. But although all along I was gay, I was in denial because of teaching in the church and I firmly believed my father in law was “destined for hell.” He instead helped paved the way for a huge mindset change in our nation and saved a lot of lives.
Such giant kudos to your father in law. That must have been so tough for him back then - the angst he must have gotten.
And yeah, the shame runs deep. They really insert it deep into the brain.
Much respect to both of you - and I hope one day these Evangelical / Pentecostal / Hardcore Baptist types can step back and have empathy about *individuals* - minorities - rather than raging on about their warped interpretation of the Bible.
Jun 16, 2022·edited Jun 16, 2022Liked by David Farrier
As I read this a couple of thoughts come to mind. The first is of a lovely young tran boy that I’ve been supporting . He was referred to my service with major depression and constant suicidal ideation. But with good support life is so much better. While he still struggles from time to time he now has the tool box of coping skills to he cal now call on. during my last contact he was so excited to beginning hormonal treatment. If he was constantly told he was abnormal or sick I wonder whether the outcome would have been as good. I suspect not. I also wonder if, going back 30+ years when I was still in the fundamentalist cult how I would have reacted.
I also thought about the different traditions surrounding marriage in the Bible. The “traditional marriage” espoused by Bethlehem college between one man and one woman was not the only accepted form. King David and Solomon had multiple wives, plus concubines. Concubines did not have the same status as a wife, but there were a number of regulations outlining and protecting their status and rights. Encyclopaedia for example describes this arrangement:
The first mention of concubine I could find is in Gen 22:20-24 with respect to Abraham’s brother:
20 And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor; 21 Huz his firstborn, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram, 22 and Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel. 23 And Bethuel begat Rebekah: these eight Milcah did bear to Nahor, Abraham’s brother. 24 And his concubine, whose name was Reumah, she bare also Tebah, and Gaham, and Thahash, and Maachah.
In this the issue of concubinage is mentioned without comment, because it was an accepted an normal practice. In all I found 37 passages referring to concubines. The only one that was in anyway negative about this practice was I Kings 11:1-4:
11 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites; 2 of the nations concerning which the Lord said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. 3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. 4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.
And here it was not that Solomon had many wives and concubines but that he “turned his heart away after other gods”.
The conclusion then is that from a Biblical standpoint Bethlehem's statement of beliefs is incorrect. It should read that Marriage is between a man and his female wife/wives and concubine/concubines (or something to that effect).
Maybe I should write to them and point out their error.
I agree with stopping funding, or at very least ensuring this is used to lever out the most egregious parts of these mission statements - but I'm also seeing potentially scary outcomes either way.
Regardless of whether they refuse and 'de-integrate' (if even possible) or if they accede and remove point 13, I am sure it leads directly to a "poor persecuted Christians not allowed to teach morals and faith" angle both to rark up supporters among other evangelicals, and also in further awful stuff being fed to current students :.(
The messaging from BC is incredibly tone deaf so far, and very much coming from that Evangelical place of "We are doing God's work, we are fine, nothing could possibly be wrong here".
This is from a letter they sent to parents about criticisms:
"Out initial reactions to [...] allegations is they contain a lot of "ist" and "ia" words without much solid detail".
This is so dismissive and gross. When you read the comments from former students (some in my last piece) I just can't imagine typing this to parents.
And also:
"We are happy to comply with any official investigation - though we would like to see evidence one is needed."
Could you be more dismissive and smarmy? It's so gross.
The universal sinfulness, guilt, judgement, and condemnation is all pretty fucking gross too! Now I’m not religious but to my mind isn’t the whole point of Christianity to be more like Jesus? If that is the case, then all that really needs to be said is love everyone, wash the feet of the poor, and flip some tables when shit ain’t right 🥴
Damn straight, there is some table flipping sorely needed in these holier than thou outfits, they are the modern day Pharisees, who have reinterpreted (and misunderstood) God's word so badly that they serve only themselves and not God. They have totally lost touch with God's original intent for people to use their power of free will to choose to love *without conditions*.
Integrated schools in general grind my gears a bit but this is beyond ordinary diocesan school fuckery. Just popping in a 'no gay sex' clause without checking!
To be honest the rest is weird too, signing up for some of your critical years of intellectual development with a commitment to all sorts of theological rubbish, unity of the trinity, everlasting life, the special apocalyptic significance of the state of Israel etc. How's it possible to have a fixed position on any of those things as a child?
Yeah - I think if I ever had kids I'd just try and give them a wide bunch of views and just make sure they know we are all born into vastly different places / scenarios / cultures with wonderfully different views on life - and that's OK! Just to be kind - and to call out those that are not, perhaps.
And if they find their way to a belief system on their own accord, with fully formed brains - great!
Like - you don't teach a 5 year old how to drive a car. You let their brains form first. Probably a terrible example but you get my drift!
I do have kids and that’s the way. My youngest is into respect for Papatuanuku in a big way, because that’s the language about looking after the world at her school, but she’s also exposed to a collection of other stories. She’s got the Jesus basics from one of her teachers who turned out to be a major evangelical and quit over vaccines, she’s got two agnostic sciencey parents. She’ll find her own way.
It's helping me deal with some old stuff, I think. Being able to look at it objectively - via reporting - is probably better than any therapy I've had (the therapy is good, too).
One of the things that hit me from JC’s Gloriavale story was the incredibly articulate caring advocate woman with a box of emails she’d written to agencies (including MoE) (related to Gvale- but covering similar issues) I don’t believe no recipients in that stack of emails cared about children…sometimes we need to give the agency the right ammunition to act. Specific issues like David found are great, backed up with a bit of media spotlight. All organisations and agencies have ‘hot buttons’ that get action.
You had it here first! (thanks for the cheeky link). Love that these schools are like "It's not our intent to hurt!" whilst ignoring all the people hurt.
Similar to the sneaky way so many public schools opt in all students to "Bible in schools" religious studies, although at least that has improved over the last few years.
as a progressive thinking Christian I was horrified when I learned some years ago that the "Bible in Schools" movement (or as my spell checker just put it, "Bile in Schools") had dug itself so deeply into "normal" school life in my own city, that all kids effectively had to be indoctrinated by this overly conservative evangelically inspired material, unless "excused by parents" from it (and I'd be unsurprised if there was schoolyard shaming of those kids who opt out), as it occurred on school property and during normal school hours. That is totally wrong, and school BOTs should never have accepted it. "Religious instruction" (indoctrination) should occur in the home and in church settings, as opposed to impartial Social Studies teaching about the different types of world cultures and religions, what they broadly believe in and differ over, and how (if) they intermingle religion, culture, and state. I think its introduction as an after-school activity which then wormed its way into a regular curriculum activity was pretty damned sneaky.
I'm pretty sure that many parents and even BOT members have no idea of the sorts of narrow dogma being preached to the kids, it's not just innocent reading of traditional kid-level bible stories.
I went to BC in the early 2000’s. I too was questioning my sexuality. I had feelings of same sex attraction to women and I lived in absolute fear that I was a lesbian and all encompassing self loathing. At times I was suicidal.
I distinctly remember absolutely abhorrent homophobic lectures by teachers disguised as biblical teachings. I asked if we are all sinners and equal in the eyes of the lord why such vitriol towards gay people? Why is the school against gay people taking leadership positions in the church? The response was that gay people were worse than sinners - amoral and disgusting.
I remember one form teacher proudly stating that his pharmacist wife refused to sell the morning after pill, because it was amoral and equating it to abortion. Sex Ed was essentially shaming young women about their bodies and their sexuality.
During the time I was at BC the decriminalisation of prostitution was going through parliament. My form teacher regularly used to lecture us about how horrific he thought the bill was, blind to any harm prevention to sex workers.
I was raised in a religious home by a mother who respected queer people, women and sex workers. My mother had gay friends who used to visit regularly. After much thought, I came to the conclusion that Jesus would have also been inclusive and respectful of queer people etc.. This led me to questioning the school’s approach. I was regularly given detentions for asking these questions as I was seen as being disrespectful or disruptive. It was eventually suggested by the school that I complete my schooling elsewhere and I left BC for a fantastic public school which helped heal the damage BC created. I am no longer religious but do respect inclusive christians.
God I wish I'd been at school the same time as you, and we could have talked!
2000 was my final year.
The self loathing is bonkers. And it makes the messaging from this school so far ("We're innocent! Silly criticisms! We do good!") all the more frustrating - as they just don't get it.
Zero empathy.
Zero compassion.
Just Bible Beating Bullshit.
Your mom sounds great. All while your school gave your detentions for being... human.
Fuck that.
Your mother sounds like mine who, despite being sucked into most of the fundamentalist BS of the cult we grew up in, was so accepting of LGBTQI+. We once had Tim Barnett, the gay MP for Christchurch Central and his partner Ramone (whom I worked with for a time up in Wellington) over for a meal. I saw nothing bad, evil or disgusting about them. Instead I remember that they were such a lovely couple. In this they were like my mates Dave and Dave who brought such joy into my life.
Brilliant work , David! I can remember back in the mid seventies where Pentecostal churches were teaching “judgment begins at the house of the Lord.” Now it seems they don’t adhere to that at all. Christian churches seem beyond reproach, any criticism of them is interpreted as “persecution “ or “church bashing” , believers are told not to criticize leadership “do not touch the Lord’s anointed”, and integrated schools often funded by the tax payer have become cesspools of homophobia and bullying. Thank you David for helping to clean things up. My father in law was on the homosexual law reform committee in the early 70s. I respect him now so much for that. But although all along I was gay, I was in denial because of teaching in the church and I firmly believed my father in law was “destined for hell.” He instead helped paved the way for a huge mindset change in our nation and saved a lot of lives.
Such giant kudos to your father in law. That must have been so tough for him back then - the angst he must have gotten.
And yeah, the shame runs deep. They really insert it deep into the brain.
Much respect to both of you - and I hope one day these Evangelical / Pentecostal / Hardcore Baptist types can step back and have empathy about *individuals* - minorities - rather than raging on about their warped interpretation of the Bible.
As I read this a couple of thoughts come to mind. The first is of a lovely young tran boy that I’ve been supporting . He was referred to my service with major depression and constant suicidal ideation. But with good support life is so much better. While he still struggles from time to time he now has the tool box of coping skills to he cal now call on. during my last contact he was so excited to beginning hormonal treatment. If he was constantly told he was abnormal or sick I wonder whether the outcome would have been as good. I suspect not. I also wonder if, going back 30+ years when I was still in the fundamentalist cult how I would have reacted.
I also thought about the different traditions surrounding marriage in the Bible. The “traditional marriage” espoused by Bethlehem college between one man and one woman was not the only accepted form. King David and Solomon had multiple wives, plus concubines. Concubines did not have the same status as a wife, but there were a number of regulations outlining and protecting their status and rights. Encyclopaedia for example describes this arrangement:
“n Biblical usage, a concubine (Heb. pīlegeš ) is a true wife, although of secondary rank. Accepted without question as part of Israel's culture, the concubine regularly lived in the household and was recognized and provided for by Israelite custom.” (https://www.encyclopedia.com/religion/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/concubine-bible).
The first mention of concubine I could find is in Gen 22:20-24 with respect to Abraham’s brother:
20 And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor; 21 Huz his firstborn, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram, 22 and Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel. 23 And Bethuel begat Rebekah: these eight Milcah did bear to Nahor, Abraham’s brother. 24 And his concubine, whose name was Reumah, she bare also Tebah, and Gaham, and Thahash, and Maachah.
In this the issue of concubinage is mentioned without comment, because it was an accepted an normal practice. In all I found 37 passages referring to concubines. The only one that was in anyway negative about this practice was I Kings 11:1-4:
11 But king Solomon loved many strange women, together with the daughter of Pharaoh, women of the Moabites, Ammonites, Edomites, Zidonians, and Hittites; 2 of the nations concerning which the Lord said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love. 3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. 4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.
And here it was not that Solomon had many wives and concubines but that he “turned his heart away after other gods”.
The conclusion then is that from a Biblical standpoint Bethlehem's statement of beliefs is incorrect. It should read that Marriage is between a man and his female wife/wives and concubine/concubines (or something to that effect).
Maybe I should write to them and point out their error.
I think you should write to them - just be ready to be ignored, or get a dismissive, pass-agg response!
Thanks for all of this.
The podcast I mentioned in my last newsletter talks on this a lot, too -
Episode 24: “LGBTQI & overturning exclusion”: https://intheshift.podbean.com/e/24-in-the-flesh-lgbtqi/
Sounds like you will know all this but I appreciated the context and thoughts.
It sucks that we’re no longer shocked and surprised when this absolutely cooked tomfuckery happens.
In my opinion they shouldn't receive any funding even if they take that point out. It's obviously what they believe and preach.
Money is the one factor they'd actually respond to, no doubt.
I agree with stopping funding, or at very least ensuring this is used to lever out the most egregious parts of these mission statements - but I'm also seeing potentially scary outcomes either way.
Regardless of whether they refuse and 'de-integrate' (if even possible) or if they accede and remove point 13, I am sure it leads directly to a "poor persecuted Christians not allowed to teach morals and faith" angle both to rark up supporters among other evangelicals, and also in further awful stuff being fed to current students :.(
The messaging from BC is incredibly tone deaf so far, and very much coming from that Evangelical place of "We are doing God's work, we are fine, nothing could possibly be wrong here".
This is from a letter they sent to parents about criticisms:
"Out initial reactions to [...] allegations is they contain a lot of "ist" and "ia" words without much solid detail".
This is so dismissive and gross. When you read the comments from former students (some in my last piece) I just can't imagine typing this to parents.
And also:
"We are happy to comply with any official investigation - though we would like to see evidence one is needed."
Could you be more dismissive and smarmy? It's so gross.
Christ-like my ass.
Those sneaky bastards!!
The universal sinfulness, guilt, judgement, and condemnation is all pretty fucking gross too! Now I’m not religious but to my mind isn’t the whole point of Christianity to be more like Jesus? If that is the case, then all that really needs to be said is love everyone, wash the feet of the poor, and flip some tables when shit ain’t right 🥴
Imagine if these places actually read the Bible? And kinda went "Hey, what was Jesus into?"
NO ACTUALLY SCREW THAT WE ARE JUST GOING TO TELL PEOPLE WHO ARE TERRIFIED THEY MIGHT BE GAY THAT THEY ARE COOKED AND BROKEN"
Totally normal stuff. Cool. Jesus would love it.
Damn straight, there is some table flipping sorely needed in these holier than thou outfits, they are the modern day Pharisees, who have reinterpreted (and misunderstood) God's word so badly that they serve only themselves and not God. They have totally lost touch with God's original intent for people to use their power of free will to choose to love *without conditions*.
Integrated schools in general grind my gears a bit but this is beyond ordinary diocesan school fuckery. Just popping in a 'no gay sex' clause without checking!
To be honest the rest is weird too, signing up for some of your critical years of intellectual development with a commitment to all sorts of theological rubbish, unity of the trinity, everlasting life, the special apocalyptic significance of the state of Israel etc. How's it possible to have a fixed position on any of those things as a child?
Yeah - I think if I ever had kids I'd just try and give them a wide bunch of views and just make sure they know we are all born into vastly different places / scenarios / cultures with wonderfully different views on life - and that's OK! Just to be kind - and to call out those that are not, perhaps.
And if they find their way to a belief system on their own accord, with fully formed brains - great!
Like - you don't teach a 5 year old how to drive a car. You let their brains form first. Probably a terrible example but you get my drift!
I do have kids and that’s the way. My youngest is into respect for Papatuanuku in a big way, because that’s the language about looking after the world at her school, but she’s also exposed to a collection of other stories. She’s got the Jesus basics from one of her teachers who turned out to be a major evangelical and quit over vaccines, she’s got two agnostic sciencey parents. She’ll find her own way.
You truly are the caped crusader of sniffing out religious bullshit. Brilliant
It's helping me deal with some old stuff, I think. Being able to look at it objectively - via reporting - is probably better than any therapy I've had (the therapy is good, too).
Excellent- you’re on a roll! As for the other 12 points, I wonder if you’d pass an English essay assignment if you submitted this mumbo jumbo.
A fail, I'd say.
Mumbo jumbo alright.
I'm so pleased that MoE is onto this already! It's seldom a good idea to piss them off.
They were quick on this. I was really glad.
One of the things that hit me from JC’s Gloriavale story was the incredibly articulate caring advocate woman with a box of emails she’d written to agencies (including MoE) (related to Gvale- but covering similar issues) I don’t believe no recipients in that stack of emails cared about children…sometimes we need to give the agency the right ammunition to act. Specific issues like David found are great, backed up with a bit of media spotlight. All organisations and agencies have ‘hot buttons’ that get action.
Oh my gosh, so sneaky. I hope they go to confession about it.
Nice work David!
They'll find a way to justify it. Can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. Or humans.
This made the Herald today: https://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/education/bethlehem-college-ministry-of-education-tells-christian-school-to-remove-marriage-line/T44T677WEIMAOL7FTBNAOKV4KI/
You had it here first! (thanks for the cheeky link). Love that these schools are like "It's not our intent to hurt!" whilst ignoring all the people hurt.
Similar to the sneaky way so many public schools opt in all students to "Bible in schools" religious studies, although at least that has improved over the last few years.
as a progressive thinking Christian I was horrified when I learned some years ago that the "Bible in Schools" movement (or as my spell checker just put it, "Bile in Schools") had dug itself so deeply into "normal" school life in my own city, that all kids effectively had to be indoctrinated by this overly conservative evangelically inspired material, unless "excused by parents" from it (and I'd be unsurprised if there was schoolyard shaming of those kids who opt out), as it occurred on school property and during normal school hours. That is totally wrong, and school BOTs should never have accepted it. "Religious instruction" (indoctrination) should occur in the home and in church settings, as opposed to impartial Social Studies teaching about the different types of world cultures and religions, what they broadly believe in and differ over, and how (if) they intermingle religion, culture, and state. I think its introduction as an after-school activity which then wormed its way into a regular curriculum activity was pretty damned sneaky.
I'm pretty sure that many parents and even BOT members have no idea of the sorts of narrow dogma being preached to the kids, it's not just innocent reading of traditional kid-level bible stories.
The devil is in the detail. Great work David
It really is. Always.
Colour me surprised! Love your work David!
Thanks Harper. Great name, btw. As someone with one of the most boring names known to humankind - kudos!
Ha, but we Davids fight giants! :-)