Thanks for talking about this. I live in Scotland where the far right tested trans folks as a wedge issue they can use and unfortunately it took off very well. I'm non-binary transmasc but I'm too scared to be out beyond my close friends and online pals. It hurts my soul, but I just don't feel safe. I can't access trans healthcare anyway so it feels pointless. Trans people are a breath away from having all of our rights taken away with amendments put forward to the equality act which currently keeps us safe
The US is absolutely in the throes of creeping trans genocide and it's heartbreaking and angering and so horrific to witness from the outside, I cannot imagine how awful it must be to be living it
Sorry that was a big outpouring but there's not really many places where people can talk about this stuff and not get waves of harassment, like your twitter mentions that weekend
Can I just say it's wonderful to have you here, in amongst a bunch of people that support you. Know that.
The way this has crept in SO FAST is just staggering. I mean it's been burbling away for awhile, but the way in which it's picked up mainstream speed (in amongst cries of "woke") is just mind-blowing to me. The way it was imported from the UK to NZ even - just from a personal perspective it really threw me.
Horrific, terrifying, and I am so, so sorry you have to feel this way as you try to live your authentic life - a life in which you are causing zero fucking problems for anyone.
Thank you. It's been bubbling away for a good decade here, creeping and creeping. I've been writing to my MP and MSP about trans issues here since at least 2016, but I feel like the intense radicalisation during COVID with Q and antivaxxers really laid the groundwork for the explosion in legislative attacks. Make us the big boogeyman and it's much easier to get a lot of other horrible things to fly under the radar.
We had a leadership contest here this year and the transphobic, homophobic candidate barely lost by 48% compared to 52% for the winner. That really was a scary election.
The thing that I hold on to is the people who *are* supportive and who *are* fighting, and the younger folks who are just being incredibly outspoken and taking action. It's amazing to see, even if it's awful it's needed in the first place.
Yeah wedge issue is exactly what it is. Certain concentrations of political power benefit from intergroup tension of whatever kind and there has certainly been a gaming of that here in NZ, affecting trans people and indigenous people especially, building up as we get closer to the election. It's a dirty political strategy.
Sorry to hear about how it has affected you, Rowan, and all the best to you and yours.
It sucks that you can't live as your authentic self because of other people’s stupidity. It must be painful and I really hope it changes for you. Kia kaha x
Thanks for this comment Rowan. I'm really glad the Webworm comments section is a small bastion of sense online, and I'm sorry so much of the rest of society seems obsessively devoted to stopping you being your authentic self. We live in a spectacularly stupid time
I am so sorry you are experiencing this Rowan. I am feeling frightened for my trans friends these days. I think they will be coming for gay people next and all the work changing attitudes/ protection laws of the last 30 years will be out the window. Will woman's rights be next? Will the handmaid's tale become reality?
It's a scary thing to witness.
Sending you support for your right to safely exist and be a member of society with the same protection as everyone else.
They absolutely will be coming for the rest of the LGBs soon, which makes the anti-trans LGs that exist even more infuriating. They won't stop until anything but cis heterosexuality is allowed. It feels like those of us speaking out about how this will not stop with trans people are being gaslit by the rest of the world.
I feel lucky because it's relatively easy for me to mask and I'm indifferent to my body. I started saying (to very, very few people) in my early teens that I felt like a gay man (stereotypically gay because it was a long time ago) in a very female body. I didn't feel like a girl, but I didn't feel like a boy either so that was the best I could come up with; I didn't know anything outside of gay vs straight (I'm also gray ace and bi, so I was just confused about it all for a loooong time). Finally learning that man or woman were not my only options and sorting out that I'm non-binary was great. Until I realized that I can't be completely out about any of it. It can be really soul crushing. I know that so many people who like me as a "straight woman" would think there's something horribly wrong with me if they knew my actual identity and orientation. The exterior doesn't line up with the interior at all. Add asexuality into the mix and I'm just broken, right? I don't think that about myself, but I'm certain that's what a lot of people in my life would think. Most of them, really. It's painful to consider the social ramifications. Thankfully, my close friends and family know most of that and dgaf (or are themselves trans/nb/LGBTQIA and we've been on parts of this self-discovery journey together...like calls to like, I guess).
Fuck, after writing way more than I intended to, I am feeling the mental and emotional weight of hiding significant parts of myself in most of the spaces I inhabit. And again, under the trans umbrella, I think I've got it *really* easy. It's maybe not great for my mental health, but my physical safety isn't an issue and my gender identity doesn't present any healthcare access challenges. I'm thankful for your comment, Rowan, and I'm so, so sorry that you're dealing with the added burdens of not feeling safe and not having access to trans healthcare. 💕
I'm so sorry that you don't have many spaces to be out. Are there any ways we can support you here, beyond being a space where the transphobes get booted off? Yesterday a new friend sent me a voice clip of them pretending to have a conversation with someone about me, using my name and pronouns, and it make me ridiculously happy listening to it. Another friend recently used the term "sprinkles of euphoria" and now I just want to figure out what brings this to me and others and make more of these moments.
Honestly, it's just nice to have a space with my name and pronouns being used! 💖 It's great to know it's such a great community here. I hope you find your sprinkles of euphoria! They're such wonderful things when they happen 😊
Saw your comment in the latest Webworm feedback and wanted to come back and share some love across the world from one Rowan to another 💕 I hope the time comes soon when you are safe to be who you want to be.
"If you want to host a summit for every misogynist in the country at short notice, tweet something nice about trans people. Upon hitting send, every man who spent the last six years posting sexist memes of Jacinda Ardern will materialise in your mentions blathering about how you’re a woman hater."
Yeah, I have made a few 'hi, this is transphobia' comments on say...Buzzfeed articles or whatnot and am immediately flooded with replies by misogynists.
One of the many irrationalities in anti Trans discource is the conflation of so called single sex spaces ie public toilets, with places for conversations between women about women's lived experiences. The only time I've heard those conversations happen in public toilets is very drunk and very late at night.
And any time I've talked with a trans or non binary person about my life as a Cis woman, we've shared far more empathy and common experience than I do with Cis men.
Anyway Natalie Wynn's new contrapoints video critiquing the witch trials of j k Rowling breaks the so called debate down exceptionally clearly. One part, with reference to Andrea dworkins book 'Right wing women' unpacks how for anti Trans women, Trans people are the safe outsiders to attack, because to acknowledge that the greater threat to womens safety is most likely their Cis het husbands, boyfriends, fathers or bosses is unbearable.
The toilet thing. It goes on and on. I posted about this newsletter on Instagram and Facebook (I do like to spread newsletters like this one around, as they are important) - and the knee jerk comments (from men) of WHAT ABOUT THE TOILETS?!!
It's like - what toilets? What abuse? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS HAPPENING?!
Scaremongering that has gotten in like brainworms. Like the kids identifying as cats at school - utter rubbish: https://www.webworm.co/p/butterfly
Yup, I recall pretty much similar arguments in 1986, opposing repeal of all anti homosexual laws. Instead of trans women in "women's safe spaces" (if such a Wonderland exists anywhere) it was gay men in "youth/children's safe spaces".
Same arguments recycled, just the cross-hairs have moved to a new target.
The toilet thing is nuts. As an 8 yr old girl, I used a toilet labeled men’s once because I was busting to pee and my ‘friend’ was being mean and not coming out of the women’s toilet. (They were the single room bathroom styled toilets) Afterwards, she laughed and said she would tell on me to my dad. All dad said was well done for not wetting your pants! Toilets are places we usually are all quite desperate to get to when we need them.
Toilets! Honestly! Proud of our ops team at work for putting a sign between the women’s and men’s bathrooms ‘Use whichever bathroom you feel comfortable in, everyone’s welcome here.’
I would love to know where this whole idea that women’s public toilets are suddenly a hothouse of sexual violence arose from. It’s such a complete nonsense and this weird mythology has sprung up around them.
And yes, Dworkin hits the nail on the head. Every single women (cis or trans) and non-binary person I know can share a story about being threatened or abused by a cis man.
It’s very telling to me that many of the loudest and most intransigent anti-trans voices come from cis men who claim to be so protective of women’s rights yet you never ever hear them talking about how to dismantle rape culture.
On Twitter I've had plonkers asking me, "Frank, what is a woman?"
My response is simple: "You want *ME* to define *YOU*? (If asked by a female-identified username). And what will you do with MY definition? And what will you do if you don't like it?"
Asking cis het men to define women - it feels like the last fifty years of feminist emancipation is swept away with that one, very-loaded, question.
I usually add that that the only sexuality I have a right to comment on (or define), is my own. That's it. No one elses.
I found it particularly weird in the aftermath of the Kellie-Jay visit to Auckland ,how many cis men decided they should still be front and centre in the narrative, telling me and other women what misogyny looked like and how women's voices were at risk of being shut down. Would have really liked if they had just shut their own voices down for a while and listened. By the way, many, many women's voices were very loud and clear that day in support of the trans community and against the hate.
Your last point - yes indeed! There were many of us, of all ages.
As the Poser was being escorted out, an older couple - she with a pink hat on, he with a pink ribbon on his - smilingly said to me "Mission accomplished!"
But ooh heck! If all I knew about it was what commenters said it was, I'd be thinking it was a nasty, violent riot with trans people bashing innocent cis women wanting to talk about their issues.
Yup! I've never been abused, assaulted or harassed by a transgender person but I certainly have been by cisgender men 🙃 I've never been afraid for my life in a public bathroom but I have been in my own home 🙃
I'm so glad you mentioned her guesting on the podcast! She mentions how bathrooms have always been open to male attackers, there's not an attendant at the door checking your genitals before you enter! Just such nonsense from these anti trans attention seeking farts.
Well, Ms Parker *DID* suggest something along those lines...
"One of Britain’s most well-known voices in the “gender-critical movement”, Posie Parker, has suggested armed men should use women’s public bathrooms to “protect” them.
[....]
In a since-deleted YouTube video, Parker floated the idea of men using women’s bathrooms – but more specifically, men with, er, guns. Posie Parker implores armed men to ‘start using women’s toilets’ to ‘protect’ them"
This is exactly why women need to think about the long game when deciding to be gender critical. Besides the fact it's god awful to treat trans people like cannon fodder, in the long run women's rights lose out too. Who will be judged not feminine enough to use the bathroom, what kind of retribution do women receive from these "guards" of women's rights? Hannah Gadsby's book "12 Steps to Nanette" includes an awful story of what happened to her when some men first thought she was a man flirting with their girlfriend and upon realising she was a woman then decided she was gay and beat the crap out of her in public. We all lose out.
If that's the same stage performance Nanette gave, I watched it... It was very, very powerful. I don't mind confessing that it impacted on me. It was gut wrenching.
She did tell that story in Nanette. It was very harrowing and it was a life changing to take in. I definitely recommend the book. It's more of an autobiography and gives you a better understanding of life from her perspective. I was especially impacted by the trauma she felt from the public debate in Tasmania about legalising homosexuality. She wrote elsewhere "For many, the debate was theatre. For me, it made me hate myself so deeply I have never been able to develop an aptitude for relationships" "In the mid-90s I was the age when I should have been learning how to be vulnerable, how to handle a broken heart, how to deal with rejection and how to deal with all the other great silly things about young love which help pave the way to the more substantial adult version, but instead I learned how to close myself off and rot quietly in self-hatred."
So it's this in my mind when I hear and read the hate towards the trans community. It's the same thing and there are vulnerable wee people soaking this in and they shouldn't have to.
Oh wow, way to be worried about literally the opposite thing one should be worried about in all issues of the world Ms Parker. Honestly, I'm all for nuance and critical reasoning and debate but can we just agree that some people are insufferable attention seekers and ignore their ass?
"And any time I've talked with a trans or non binary person about my life as a Cis woman, we've shared far more empathy and common experience than I do with Cis men. "
Interesting you write that, Meliors.
When I first heard about TERFs (I had little experience with this issue and wow, I was on a steep learning curve!), I couldn't get my head around it. I must admit to having been utterly naive and blurting out, "But trans women would be the perfect allies to the feminist movement - they *understand* what discrimination mixed with male privilege is all about!?"
I was promptly 'schooled' and eyes opened to then dark underworld (now very much on the surface) of transphobia.
16 odd years ago, I met the love of my life. We were engaged within 15 days and married a couple of years later. 5 years ago we had a conversation while doing our workday lunchtime walk. That day, which was pink shirt day btw, she told me that she is a transgender woman. My response was "cool, we'd better go clothes shopping then!" In what was possibly the fastest transition in history, she socially transitioned within 72 hours of that conversation 🤣
I didn't care then and still don't now; I love her with all of my being. She's now 60 and I'm 55. We're just 2 old biddies wanting to live our lives. The only 'grooming' we do is on our little toy poodle Dougal FFS. She is absolutely no danger to anyone at all and just wants to be able to live her life in the way that she wants, without hurting a single other person. How is that so fucking terrible?
The rhetoric that is now in place is so bloody scary; seeing the insanity shipped verbatim from UK/US is mind blowing. The only conclusion to their trajectory IS genocide. I despair at the likes of Plonkit, AOB et al; do they see where their words are leading? Do they care?
Gosh you rule, Suzanne. And your partner. Thanks for writing this simple and beautiful story, with some added poodle lolz. You're great. So nice to have you here.
This is a wonderful story of love, Thank you for sharing! I think I'll leave the Internet here today and take these happy feels out into the world❤️ I hope you both have a lovely Sunday xx
Reality check radio? What utter bullshit. Although, if they mean reality check in the way of a coat check, then yeh, they left reality at the doorstep of the radio station. It's all horrific and it makes me so angry. I wish people would just fuck off out of other people's business, fuck off with projecting their own judgement onto other people, fuck off thinking they are better than other people and just generally fuck off with the notion of "other". It also terrifies me that the rise of fascism is what we are actually seeing, and our general apathy towards voting will allow it through the gates into political power.
This whole thing is such nonsense. I just find myself quoting that huffpo headline over and over again: I Don't Know How To Explain To You That You Should Care About Other People.
This all reminds me of my terrible experience this past Saturday. I'm a big horror movie fan and I usually go see any movie that comes out, regardless of supposed quality, with my father if he's free and Saturday I took him to see WHAT I THOUGHT was a new horror flick, Nefarious. Watch the trailer, it looks run of the mill psychological horror. And it was definitely scary, just not in the way I imagined. The premise is that a man on death row claims he's a demon and a psychiatrist has to evaluate him to prove he's not insane. The man says the psychiatrist will perform three murders before he leaves that day. Cool, I'm in. There WAS a weird trailer beforehand that was about people taking "our" guns and I was ready to complain after the film but I should have just left then. So, the first "murder" was that the psychiatrist's mom died via physician assisted suicide. I live in Oregon and someone I know was passing via that literally as I sat in the theater so that felt really bad but people can be weird about it so I let it pass. The second "murder" was that the psychiatrist's girlfriend was getting an abortion that day. And then he just started spouting untrue "facts" about abortions, "facts" I recognized from right wing Christian talking points. He then started going on about the liberal media and I turned to my dad and went "This movie is making me very uncomfortable and I would like to leave." So we did (my dad, in true dad fashion, was fine with leaving because 'it was very boring and I was falling asleep.') Googled it on the way home and it's by Christian filmmakers and we apparently walked out before the Glen Beck cameo. I'm still mad I spent money on this film and how the marketing felt like a trick. But that's how it all works, isn't it? They dress it up like it's normal, like it's a thing you know, and then they get under your skin.
I took my dad to see The Pope's Exorcist two days later to make up for it and Russell Crowe rode a Vespa from Rome to Castille so at least there was that.
Sorry for the ridiculously long comment. I'm so sorry about the strep. I had a horrible case back in 2010 and it is the worst. I hope you feel better soon!
"Up to this point, you wouldn’t have guessed “Nefarious” is a faith-based movie. Although it’s not a surprise, given the other films writers and directors Chuck Konzelman and Cary Solomon have made; their resume includes such films as “God’s Not Dead” and “Unplanned.”
Which is fine, until their message becomes increasingly heavy-handed and the film begins to suffer accordingly, at least in cinematic terms. (How it works on a religious level will be up to you and your faith.)
But including Glenn Beck in your movie? That’s neither well nor good.
This is not someone you want in your movie, no matter what you believe.
Beck shows up at the end, playing himself, in an epilogue. He oozes sincerity and compassion.
As for the Pope's Exorcist - some camp Russell Crowe is all I need in my life right now. Genuinely can't wait. I love what that man throws himself into. Genuinely.
Usually I'm fairly good at sniffing those out but this one took me completely by surprise. Scary in a way it certainly did not intend.
You will love Pope's Exorcist. Set in the 80s for some reason, the first line in the movie is "That is a beautiful pig" in Italian, and Russell Crowe speaks in an Italian accent the whole film. Just great, cheesy fun.
I'm so glad I read this comment... I was also considering seeing Nefarious this weekend, it looked like an interesting concept for a horror film. But I will take a hard pass now
Arghhh, Molly! You missed Glen Beck! LOL. Mark yourself 'safe' from Glen Beck. Great comment - thanks for sharing. ps - if you ever want to see the piss taken from Glen Beck, check out Hal Sparks e.g., https://youtu.be/ACI-f3JLTUA. maybe you like.
I'm grateful to live in New Zealand. While the far right is scary in its transphobia, so far I'm fortunate that my experience of transphobia has largely been subtle not direct and violent. I feel for trans women who are the target of violence more often than trans men like myself are. I can slip into the background with the majority of people not realising I'm trans. Most people don't look past the beard. I felt sad when I saw a flyer for Reality Check Radio in my letterbox (conveniently ignoring the no advertising sign). Peter Williams and Paul Brennan are talented broadcasters. It's so sad they went down the rabbit hole.
I never saw the Peter Williams thing coming. So weird.
Also, as always, nice to have you here Eddie. I like that there are a bunch of comments of support here - nothing but support - and it feels like a sane land.
I live sort of rurally in NZ so a group of our mailboxes sit together at the junction of the road. When I opened ours to find that Reality Check Radioout flyer I promptly tore it up and then happily went about removing all my neighbours' ones and tearing them up too. I know tampering with post is illegal (probably just addressed mail I imagine) but bite me bitch. When will people realise that the only groups who send physical flyers these days are god botherers, conspiratorialists, the local handy man. Even Farmers has given up on mailers 😂
I use it as a book mark when I'm reading three recently-released books on consipiracism; "Fake Believe" by Dylan Reeve, "Fear" by Byron C Clark, and "Trust the Plan", by Will Sommer. (There's a fourth one I'm on the look-out for; "Histories of Hate", edited by Matthew Cunningham, Marinus La Rooij and Paul Spoonley.)
While I've delved a little through the first two, I'm focusing firstly on "Trust the Plan". It is chilling. Especially when conspiracy cultists move from their Alternative Reality cyberworld, into the Real World to harass innocent people. But it's a precursor to "Fear" and "Make Believe"... and far more gripping than any work of fiction I've ever read.
They're not silly using physical mail outs, it's good marketing - it gets past any algorithmic filtering/echo chamber. You have to physically pick it up - better than the junk folder of email.
This is a good point I hadn't thought of. You're right, if I were on social media, I doubt my algorithm would ever feed me Reality Check Radio ads. I wonder how many fence sitters this shit does convince though? I thought you sort of already need to have one foot in the rabbit hole to be dragged into it by such ads?
I think they are probably targeting those with a foot already down the rabbit hole due to algorithmic suggestion, with the physical handouts. Links to a couple of my favourite podcasts below if you like podcasts! Never underestimate what the cooked algorithm will achieve....
Thanks for this, Hayden hits the nail on the head. I was raging, absolutely raging, during the whole Posey Parker fiasco. The ludicrous statements made by the antitrans brigade claiming to want to protect women, to be working in women's best interests, made me yell at the television on several occasions. Where are these people when a teenage girl gets stalked and seriously sexually assaulted by a man who followed her to her home and chased her into a park? Where are these people when a man rapes and murders a woman with Down syndrome going for her daily walk? Where are these people when a mother is raped and murdered on her way home from work at the hospital? I was born in 1972 and spent my teenage years in the 80s in Auckland. I was sexually harrassed on numerous occasions in numerous settings - in cafes, on public transport, outside art galleries, just standing at a fucking pedestrian crossing - I was sexually assaulted twice, once aged 16 and again aged 18. Guess who the perpetrators were? Hint: not trans men, not trans women. I have only ever been attacked and made to feel unsafe by hetero cisgender men. I remember the days of Alfies nightclub in Auckland and the feeling of safety therein, with the drag queens on the door effectively seeing off any drunken harassers who might try to follow you inside. As a cisgender woman I can only say thank you to the whole rainbow community for always making me feel loved and cared for and safe and for giving me some of the best friendships of my life. To my transgender neice I just want to say, be your beautiful, authentic self and fuck the naysayers, they know nothing. Let them choke on their own ignorance and prejudice
I'm trans non-binary, AFAB, and my parents are anti trans. They won't talk to me now. And they refused to even engage with me on the topic, so I don't even understand where they're coming from. They are religious, but I'm not sure exactly what they've been listening to or watching to pick up this idea. It breaks my heart and leaves me fearful. I do fear that one day I'll walk into the women's public toilets which I've used all my life, and get challenged because I don't look feminine enough. It's a scary future for those of us who just want to be our authentic selves.
Jae - I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I hope you find this wormy spot a safe space, and I hope that reading the comments here you find yourself in good company.
Oh Jae, that must be so hard. I hope that something helps your parents to see things differently, and that you have other people in your family/chosen family/friendily standing by you.
Thanks for this. One of the main issues I have with the terfs is their hypocrisy. I am a former sex worker, which means I grew up with Queens (trans sex workers), all working to get money to be able to transition. The Queens would all talk about the married cis men clients. These men would say things like what a good Christian they are (I used to tease some of my clients about that). I believe that it will be these same men who were clients of Queens who will do all the ranting and raging about terf stuff.
'Now mainly preoccupied with making sure all the doodles and vaginas are in their preferred locations ahead of the apocalypse.'
Best line. It really is bizarre that post pandemic, heading for extinction level event with climate change or the possibility of nuclear war, all they want is to check ya vag is in the right place before we all die anyway.
How will they police it if trans women can't use a public toilet? Will they have the gestapo waiting outside the toilet asking people to lift their skirts or drop their pants to check genital status? Where does it end? Will they not let me in if I haven't tidied up down there for a while? Will there be a 'clean' area and a 'dirty' area where women who haven't been 'ruined' by childbirth are separated from the rest of us?
The bizarre thing is that some butch women, who have experienced these exact hassles directed to them in the past, are now hassling trans women based on the same myths. Val Little was on Quilted Bananas talking about this a while back, I think it might have been this episode: https://accessmedia.nz/Player.aspx?eid=f8e4f4b8-5010-4a50-b6d5-be75002a78d9
David, I'm so sorry you have Strep, I hope those antibiotics are doing a proper job of fixing you up.
I have been watching the trans-phobia rachet up th last few years, and it's becoming ridiculous. I don't know why some people can't just let others be who they are. Even in our own family (my nephew is trans) people can't get their heads around it. I say "there's nothing to get your head around! it's not your life, just be happy they are happy" but it's like banging your head against a brick wall, because they believe it's fundamentally wrong. Haters always look to cast blame on parents, on 'misguided' society, on not being able to 'council your own children' (but they really mean conversion therapy) on wokeness, like being kind and accepting to and of each other is a bad thing. I was beguinning to think the world was going to move foward, but if course that won't happen until we get dragged backwards again through all of the shit. I really hope we can move past this. Big love to all my Trans webworm fam out there, I hope you are safe❤️
My brother is trans and although our friends/family support him and are no threat, there have been so many discussions around it and comments where they feel like it’s a phase or they don’t understand it - and I have to keep pushing a “live and let live” attitude & letting them know that they don’t even have to understand! Instead of being judgemental, maybe just love and support him and his journey, and feel grateful they aren’t in a position where they have to go through it it all themselves!!
He is the happiest he’s ever been since coming out as trans and has so much more confidence and a much fuller life now, so I know he’s on the right track!!
I wish people everywhere could just get on board and see that we all have our own lives to live, we don’t all have to walk the exact same path - there are so many different and beautiful ways to be a healthy happy human!
100% agree with everything you said😊 we have a loving family too, but religious bias has alot to do with it for a few elders (who do put a brave face on dispute their personal beliefs) The young ones are all well ahead of the elders in love and understanding however. If the future is reflected in them then we will all be just fine (if we survive the Ai😜) Great to hear about your brother... my nephew is so happy now too😁😎
One of the narratives I've been hearing from the anti-vaxx, anti-trans mob (what IS the collective noun for them btw?) is around the 'pure body' theory. They believe by not having been vaccinated, they've become a special class of what they call 'pure bloods'. The whole reason for the lunacy surrounding Baby Will and his need for a life-saving blood transfusion... but only if that blood came from an anti-vaxxer's veins.
Now the focus is on being a 'pure' or 'real' woman. Trans men don't seem to feature as much as trans women in their world, and nor do intersex people. Go figure. And it goes further. They believe the purpose of The Great Reset is to turn human beings into machines and they can this Trans Humanism. It started with the chips we had inserted into us via the Covid vaccination, next is changing our gender and the final stage is to have machines surgically transplanted into us. And all of it is funded by Big Pharma, left-wing governments and reptilian overlords.
But the thing that disturbs this feminist the most is that awful ideology of the pure or perfect woman. It denies the reality of the diversity of all women, non-binary, and intersex folks. It sets a standard by which women must adhere to in order to be defined as a woman. It's body shaming, patriarchal bullshit at best and eugenics at its worst.
I wonder where this will land and I feel so deeply for trans and non-binary communities who just want to live a quiet life.
I'm just glad to know I'm on the right (left?) side of history in this and I so appreciate this platform and your work, David to know there are many of us.
I feel like a lot of the erasure of trans men and our non-binary and otherwise gender-divergent siblings in the brainwork community is because so much of what you set out stems from internalised misogyny - no woman can ever live up to their perfect ideal, so women “escaping” into masculinity (or “levelling up” to becoming a man) is really hard to challenge - if men have all the advantages because they’re the superior gender, why would you *not* want to ‘swap teams’? If femininity is something rarified and sacred, but also inherently lesser, then the only reasons for abandoning your position and stepping down into womanhood are nefarious ones.
I mean, it would have been so much easier for the reptilian overlords to just deal with humanity a couple-of-hundred-thousand years ago, before we had invented guns and mass communication and x-ray machines and shit. I feel like I could pretty much head back in time and become ruler of all civilisation with a pocket calculator and a can of fly spray... Feels like the elites really missed a trick there.
I firmly believe that there is a high level management of these discourses going on by people with access to serious concentrations of political power. There is a lot to be gained and lost in an election year and the centre-right and right here in NZ have form.
An equal and opposite conspiracy orientation, if you like.
Yes there’s dirty politics going on. The RW parties that have no answers to current issues are stoking culture wars to cover how useless they are. They don’t care who suffers as a result
For sure. And I think the tendrils of influence and loose networks by which these narratives are being propounded are carefully assembled and curated, and further reaching than most imagine.
I do wonder if there is a link here to shifting power structures (ha which is perhaps David & Hayden’s point).
The anti-vax crew describe feeling let down by their government (who they felt did not protect them, ie their right to choose medical treatment) and also by private multinational companies (ie that their products should at least do no harm).
(NB: that’s me surmising a little of what they’ve said, genuinely not trying to get into a debate here.)
At the same time, groups with conservative morals are now living in a society with a vastly different worldview, and one that doesn’t automatically convey them with any moral power (like how NZ/Western society had in, say, the 1950s).
Both of those things mean you’ve got people who feel way more separated from the rest of society, at a political, moral and social level.
I see people pointing at ‘evidence’ of how large groups people are supposedly being manipulated. I think this gives the ‘pointers’ feelings of referent power.
Tautoko earlier comments about these people being manipulated. I feel like fires are being stoked -- and a lot of othering going on. Which is generally very unhelpful.
How about we’re all just nice to each other? Including in public restrooms?
Yeah cheers for sharing your thoughts. I think this line is especially important:
"I see people pointing at ‘evidence’ of how large groups people are supposedly being manipulated. I think this gives the ‘pointers’ feelings of referent power."
It is an important reminder to make sure one's analysis has as little in the way of self-serving elements as one is able to reflexively iron out.
I think, though, that there is enough evidence to say with confidence that large groups of people are being manipulated. This is not a new thing. From 'torches of freedom' to Cambridge Analytica: this is the nature of ideology. Power consolidates itself by distributing knowledge. The only real argument is who is doing it at any given point and what the goals are.
Completely agree that othering is unhelpful, in all its forms. There is a really difficult line to be walked between rejection of harmful discourses and the avoidance of undermining the identities that they come to form a part of. Olive branches are not easy to craft here.
Nothing makes my day worse than reading a Webworm guest post on a vital issue that’s intelligent, funny and timely. I wince at every well-made point, and laugh at the jokes through gritted teeth.
This is my colleague’s sister - massively into conspiracy theories during covid lockdown and now suddenly abandoning all of that to focus with a similar intensity on genitals.
In the words of my colleague: “She’s really fucking gullible”.
Thanks for talking about this. I live in Scotland where the far right tested trans folks as a wedge issue they can use and unfortunately it took off very well. I'm non-binary transmasc but I'm too scared to be out beyond my close friends and online pals. It hurts my soul, but I just don't feel safe. I can't access trans healthcare anyway so it feels pointless. Trans people are a breath away from having all of our rights taken away with amendments put forward to the equality act which currently keeps us safe
The US is absolutely in the throes of creeping trans genocide and it's heartbreaking and angering and so horrific to witness from the outside, I cannot imagine how awful it must be to be living it
Sorry that was a big outpouring but there's not really many places where people can talk about this stuff and not get waves of harassment, like your twitter mentions that weekend
Can I just say it's wonderful to have you here, in amongst a bunch of people that support you. Know that.
The way this has crept in SO FAST is just staggering. I mean it's been burbling away for awhile, but the way in which it's picked up mainstream speed (in amongst cries of "woke") is just mind-blowing to me. The way it was imported from the UK to NZ even - just from a personal perspective it really threw me.
Horrific, terrifying, and I am so, so sorry you have to feel this way as you try to live your authentic life - a life in which you are causing zero fucking problems for anyone.
Thank you. It's been bubbling away for a good decade here, creeping and creeping. I've been writing to my MP and MSP about trans issues here since at least 2016, but I feel like the intense radicalisation during COVID with Q and antivaxxers really laid the groundwork for the explosion in legislative attacks. Make us the big boogeyman and it's much easier to get a lot of other horrible things to fly under the radar.
We had a leadership contest here this year and the transphobic, homophobic candidate barely lost by 48% compared to 52% for the winner. That really was a scary election.
The thing that I hold on to is the people who *are* supportive and who *are* fighting, and the younger folks who are just being incredibly outspoken and taking action. It's amazing to see, even if it's awful it's needed in the first place.
Yeah wedge issue is exactly what it is. Certain concentrations of political power benefit from intergroup tension of whatever kind and there has certainly been a gaming of that here in NZ, affecting trans people and indigenous people especially, building up as we get closer to the election. It's a dirty political strategy.
Sorry to hear about how it has affected you, Rowan, and all the best to you and yours.
It sucks that you can't live as your authentic self because of other people’s stupidity. It must be painful and I really hope it changes for you. Kia kaha x
Thanks for this comment Rowan. I'm really glad the Webworm comments section is a small bastion of sense online, and I'm sorry so much of the rest of society seems obsessively devoted to stopping you being your authentic self. We live in a spectacularly stupid time
Sending you all the good vibes in the world Rowan ❤️
I am so sorry you are experiencing this Rowan. I am feeling frightened for my trans friends these days. I think they will be coming for gay people next and all the work changing attitudes/ protection laws of the last 30 years will be out the window. Will woman's rights be next? Will the handmaid's tale become reality?
It's a scary thing to witness.
Sending you support for your right to safely exist and be a member of society with the same protection as everyone else.
They absolutely will be coming for the rest of the LGBs soon, which makes the anti-trans LGs that exist even more infuriating. They won't stop until anything but cis heterosexuality is allowed. It feels like those of us speaking out about how this will not stop with trans people are being gaslit by the rest of the world.
Don't get me started on that lot
I feel you so much, Rowan.
I feel lucky because it's relatively easy for me to mask and I'm indifferent to my body. I started saying (to very, very few people) in my early teens that I felt like a gay man (stereotypically gay because it was a long time ago) in a very female body. I didn't feel like a girl, but I didn't feel like a boy either so that was the best I could come up with; I didn't know anything outside of gay vs straight (I'm also gray ace and bi, so I was just confused about it all for a loooong time). Finally learning that man or woman were not my only options and sorting out that I'm non-binary was great. Until I realized that I can't be completely out about any of it. It can be really soul crushing. I know that so many people who like me as a "straight woman" would think there's something horribly wrong with me if they knew my actual identity and orientation. The exterior doesn't line up with the interior at all. Add asexuality into the mix and I'm just broken, right? I don't think that about myself, but I'm certain that's what a lot of people in my life would think. Most of them, really. It's painful to consider the social ramifications. Thankfully, my close friends and family know most of that and dgaf (or are themselves trans/nb/LGBTQIA and we've been on parts of this self-discovery journey together...like calls to like, I guess).
Fuck, after writing way more than I intended to, I am feeling the mental and emotional weight of hiding significant parts of myself in most of the spaces I inhabit. And again, under the trans umbrella, I think I've got it *really* easy. It's maybe not great for my mental health, but my physical safety isn't an issue and my gender identity doesn't present any healthcare access challenges. I'm thankful for your comment, Rowan, and I'm so, so sorry that you're dealing with the added burdens of not feeling safe and not having access to trans healthcare. 💕
I see you and I hear you Rowan. Thank you for sharing your truth & experience with us. I’m sending you lots of love from Aotearoa 💞
So much love to you <3
I'm so sorry that you don't have many spaces to be out. Are there any ways we can support you here, beyond being a space where the transphobes get booted off? Yesterday a new friend sent me a voice clip of them pretending to have a conversation with someone about me, using my name and pronouns, and it make me ridiculously happy listening to it. Another friend recently used the term "sprinkles of euphoria" and now I just want to figure out what brings this to me and others and make more of these moments.
Honestly, it's just nice to have a space with my name and pronouns being used! 💖 It's great to know it's such a great community here. I hope you find your sprinkles of euphoria! They're such wonderful things when they happen 😊
Rowan, sending so much love to you. Know that here, we see you and hear you, and we know your existence and experience to be real and valid x
Saw your comment in the latest Webworm feedback and wanted to come back and share some love across the world from one Rowan to another 💕 I hope the time comes soon when you are safe to be who you want to be.
"If you want to host a summit for every misogynist in the country at short notice, tweet something nice about trans people. Upon hitting send, every man who spent the last six years posting sexist memes of Jacinda Ardern will materialise in your mentions blathering about how you’re a woman hater."
omg too real.
That line hit hard.
It truly fucking did.
They can't quite let Jacinda go ay. They probably have Jacinda Voodoo dolls
I wouldn't put it past them, honestly.
It's so true! I did it recently, and that exact thing happened. I had to block some people.
Yeah, I have made a few 'hi, this is transphobia' comments on say...Buzzfeed articles or whatnot and am immediately flooded with replies by misogynists.
And, so very very sad!
Amen or whatnot.
One of the many irrationalities in anti Trans discource is the conflation of so called single sex spaces ie public toilets, with places for conversations between women about women's lived experiences. The only time I've heard those conversations happen in public toilets is very drunk and very late at night.
And any time I've talked with a trans or non binary person about my life as a Cis woman, we've shared far more empathy and common experience than I do with Cis men.
Anyway Natalie Wynn's new contrapoints video critiquing the witch trials of j k Rowling breaks the so called debate down exceptionally clearly. One part, with reference to Andrea dworkins book 'Right wing women' unpacks how for anti Trans women, Trans people are the safe outsiders to attack, because to acknowledge that the greater threat to womens safety is most likely their Cis het husbands, boyfriends, fathers or bosses is unbearable.
The toilet thing. It goes on and on. I posted about this newsletter on Instagram and Facebook (I do like to spread newsletters like this one around, as they are important) - and the knee jerk comments (from men) of WHAT ABOUT THE TOILETS?!!
It's like - what toilets? What abuse? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS HAPPENING?!
Scaremongering that has gotten in like brainworms. Like the kids identifying as cats at school - utter rubbish: https://www.webworm.co/p/butterfly
"The toilet thing"...
Yup, I recall pretty much similar arguments in 1986, opposing repeal of all anti homosexual laws. Instead of trans women in "women's safe spaces" (if such a Wonderland exists anywhere) it was gay men in "youth/children's safe spaces".
Same arguments recycled, just the cross-hairs have moved to a new target.
Toilets don't care what gender you are. Toilets are there to receive human waste. That's it.
Hiiii Frank! 👋
The toilet thing is nuts. As an 8 yr old girl, I used a toilet labeled men’s once because I was busting to pee and my ‘friend’ was being mean and not coming out of the women’s toilet. (They were the single room bathroom styled toilets) Afterwards, she laughed and said she would tell on me to my dad. All dad said was well done for not wetting your pants! Toilets are places we usually are all quite desperate to get to when we need them.
I have been known to hold my breath and use the (empty) men's if the women's has a queue and I'm busting.
Toilets! Honestly! Proud of our ops team at work for putting a sign between the women’s and men’s bathrooms ‘Use whichever bathroom you feel comfortable in, everyone’s welcome here.’
I would love to know where this whole idea that women’s public toilets are suddenly a hothouse of sexual violence arose from. It’s such a complete nonsense and this weird mythology has sprung up around them.
And yes, Dworkin hits the nail on the head. Every single women (cis or trans) and non-binary person I know can share a story about being threatened or abused by a cis man.
It’s very telling to me that many of the loudest and most intransigent anti-trans voices come from cis men who claim to be so protective of women’s rights yet you never ever hear them talking about how to dismantle rape culture.
It pisses me off. I am a cis woman in my 40s, I don't need straight men to tell me how to be safe.
Indeed, Rosie.
On Twitter I've had plonkers asking me, "Frank, what is a woman?"
My response is simple: "You want *ME* to define *YOU*? (If asked by a female-identified username). And what will you do with MY definition? And what will you do if you don't like it?"
Asking cis het men to define women - it feels like the last fifty years of feminist emancipation is swept away with that one, very-loaded, question.
I usually add that that the only sexuality I have a right to comment on (or define), is my own. That's it. No one elses.
(Ye gods, I hope this made sense...)
I found it particularly weird in the aftermath of the Kellie-Jay visit to Auckland ,how many cis men decided they should still be front and centre in the narrative, telling me and other women what misogyny looked like and how women's voices were at risk of being shut down. Would have really liked if they had just shut their own voices down for a while and listened. By the way, many, many women's voices were very loud and clear that day in support of the trans community and against the hate.
Sean Plunket diving into this was the least surprising element to me. Loud men, suddenly "standing up for women".
But he would, wouldn't he?
Anything SP says is coming from a hypocrite who needs to look no further than his own relatives and his own backyard. He’s a bully, period!
Your last point - yes indeed! There were many of us, of all ages.
As the Poser was being escorted out, an older couple - she with a pink hat on, he with a pink ribbon on his - smilingly said to me "Mission accomplished!"
But ooh heck! If all I knew about it was what commenters said it was, I'd be thinking it was a nasty, violent riot with trans people bashing innocent cis women wanting to talk about their issues.
Yes if they truly cared about women’s safety they’d be taking a good hard look at the behaviour of CIS MEN but no that’s just normal biology
Yup! I've never been abused, assaulted or harassed by a transgender person but I certainly have been by cisgender men 🙃 I've never been afraid for my life in a public bathroom but I have been in my own home 🙃
I'm so glad you mentioned her guesting on the podcast! She mentions how bathrooms have always been open to male attackers, there's not an attendant at the door checking your genitals before you enter! Just such nonsense from these anti trans attention seeking farts.
Well, Ms Parker *DID* suggest something along those lines...
"One of Britain’s most well-known voices in the “gender-critical movement”, Posie Parker, has suggested armed men should use women’s public bathrooms to “protect” them.
[....]
In a since-deleted YouTube video, Parker floated the idea of men using women’s bathrooms – but more specifically, men with, er, guns. Posie Parker implores armed men to ‘start using women’s toilets’ to ‘protect’ them"
Ref: https://www.thepinknews.com/2021/01/30/gender-critical-feminist-posie-parker-men-guns-womens-toilets-twitter/
Yeah... like, cos no armed cis male has *EVER* attacked a woman... *facepalm*
This is exactly why women need to think about the long game when deciding to be gender critical. Besides the fact it's god awful to treat trans people like cannon fodder, in the long run women's rights lose out too. Who will be judged not feminine enough to use the bathroom, what kind of retribution do women receive from these "guards" of women's rights? Hannah Gadsby's book "12 Steps to Nanette" includes an awful story of what happened to her when some men first thought she was a man flirting with their girlfriend and upon realising she was a woman then decided she was gay and beat the crap out of her in public. We all lose out.
Sad. Very very sad
If that's the same stage performance Nanette gave, I watched it... It was very, very powerful. I don't mind confessing that it impacted on me. It was gut wrenching.
She did tell that story in Nanette. It was very harrowing and it was a life changing to take in. I definitely recommend the book. It's more of an autobiography and gives you a better understanding of life from her perspective. I was especially impacted by the trauma she felt from the public debate in Tasmania about legalising homosexuality. She wrote elsewhere "For many, the debate was theatre. For me, it made me hate myself so deeply I have never been able to develop an aptitude for relationships" "In the mid-90s I was the age when I should have been learning how to be vulnerable, how to handle a broken heart, how to deal with rejection and how to deal with all the other great silly things about young love which help pave the way to the more substantial adult version, but instead I learned how to close myself off and rot quietly in self-hatred."
So it's this in my mind when I hear and read the hate towards the trans community. It's the same thing and there are vulnerable wee people soaking this in and they shouldn't have to.
You can read more about Gadsby's comments here. https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2016/aug/25/hannah-gadsby-marriage-equality-plebiscite-will-ruin-and-end-some-young-lives
Oh wow, way to be worried about literally the opposite thing one should be worried about in all issues of the world Ms Parker. Honestly, I'm all for nuance and critical reasoning and debate but can we just agree that some people are insufferable attention seekers and ignore their ass?
This is beyond fucked up! 😭
This is ludicrous.
"And any time I've talked with a trans or non binary person about my life as a Cis woman, we've shared far more empathy and common experience than I do with Cis men. "
Interesting you write that, Meliors.
When I first heard about TERFs (I had little experience with this issue and wow, I was on a steep learning curve!), I couldn't get my head around it. I must admit to having been utterly naive and blurting out, "But trans women would be the perfect allies to the feminist movement - they *understand* what discrimination mixed with male privilege is all about!?"
I was promptly 'schooled' and eyes opened to then dark underworld (now very much on the surface) of transphobia.
16 odd years ago, I met the love of my life. We were engaged within 15 days and married a couple of years later. 5 years ago we had a conversation while doing our workday lunchtime walk. That day, which was pink shirt day btw, she told me that she is a transgender woman. My response was "cool, we'd better go clothes shopping then!" In what was possibly the fastest transition in history, she socially transitioned within 72 hours of that conversation 🤣
I didn't care then and still don't now; I love her with all of my being. She's now 60 and I'm 55. We're just 2 old biddies wanting to live our lives. The only 'grooming' we do is on our little toy poodle Dougal FFS. She is absolutely no danger to anyone at all and just wants to be able to live her life in the way that she wants, without hurting a single other person. How is that so fucking terrible?
The rhetoric that is now in place is so bloody scary; seeing the insanity shipped verbatim from UK/US is mind blowing. The only conclusion to their trajectory IS genocide. I despair at the likes of Plonkit, AOB et al; do they see where their words are leading? Do they care?
Gosh you rule, Suzanne. And your partner. Thanks for writing this simple and beautiful story, with some added poodle lolz. You're great. So nice to have you here.
Yes Suzanne, you rock ! That’s true love and “Christians” could learn a whole lot from you.
I love your story and now I have tears - all the best to you both!
This is a wonderful story of love, Thank you for sharing! I think I'll leave the Internet here today and take these happy feels out into the world❤️ I hope you both have a lovely Sunday xx
Me too. Me too!
Thank you! I hope the same for you ❤️
This story...it's raining in my room all of a sudden? Is someone cutting onions?!
This is truly beautiful. Wishing you and your wife all the happiness in the world <3
I was reading that thinking what a beautiful and inspiring story, when I realised that I used to work with your wife!
A classic “small Wellington” moment. 😀
Yeah, she's a small town alright! 😄
She says hi 👋
You are amazing Suzanne 💚💚
Reality check radio? What utter bullshit. Although, if they mean reality check in the way of a coat check, then yeh, they left reality at the doorstep of the radio station. It's all horrific and it makes me so angry. I wish people would just fuck off out of other people's business, fuck off with projecting their own judgement onto other people, fuck off thinking they are better than other people and just generally fuck off with the notion of "other". It also terrifies me that the rise of fascism is what we are actually seeing, and our general apathy towards voting will allow it through the gates into political power.
This whole thing is such nonsense. I just find myself quoting that huffpo headline over and over again: I Don't Know How To Explain To You That You Should Care About Other People.
This all reminds me of my terrible experience this past Saturday. I'm a big horror movie fan and I usually go see any movie that comes out, regardless of supposed quality, with my father if he's free and Saturday I took him to see WHAT I THOUGHT was a new horror flick, Nefarious. Watch the trailer, it looks run of the mill psychological horror. And it was definitely scary, just not in the way I imagined. The premise is that a man on death row claims he's a demon and a psychiatrist has to evaluate him to prove he's not insane. The man says the psychiatrist will perform three murders before he leaves that day. Cool, I'm in. There WAS a weird trailer beforehand that was about people taking "our" guns and I was ready to complain after the film but I should have just left then. So, the first "murder" was that the psychiatrist's mom died via physician assisted suicide. I live in Oregon and someone I know was passing via that literally as I sat in the theater so that felt really bad but people can be weird about it so I let it pass. The second "murder" was that the psychiatrist's girlfriend was getting an abortion that day. And then he just started spouting untrue "facts" about abortions, "facts" I recognized from right wing Christian talking points. He then started going on about the liberal media and I turned to my dad and went "This movie is making me very uncomfortable and I would like to leave." So we did (my dad, in true dad fashion, was fine with leaving because 'it was very boring and I was falling asleep.') Googled it on the way home and it's by Christian filmmakers and we apparently walked out before the Glen Beck cameo. I'm still mad I spent money on this film and how the marketing felt like a trick. But that's how it all works, isn't it? They dress it up like it's normal, like it's a thing you know, and then they get under your skin.
I took my dad to see The Pope's Exorcist two days later to make up for it and Russell Crowe rode a Vespa from Rome to Castille so at least there was that.
Sorry for the ridiculously long comment. I'm so sorry about the strep. I had a horrible case back in 2010 and it is the worst. I hope you feel better soon!
Thanks for this PSA. The sneaky Christian-film-disguised-as-something-else is a new phenomenon in America I am getting used to.
I did watch the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txwrLGAL7Sg
Horrific.
"Up to this point, you wouldn’t have guessed “Nefarious” is a faith-based movie. Although it’s not a surprise, given the other films writers and directors Chuck Konzelman and Cary Solomon have made; their resume includes such films as “God’s Not Dead” and “Unplanned.”
Which is fine, until their message becomes increasingly heavy-handed and the film begins to suffer accordingly, at least in cinematic terms. (How it works on a religious level will be up to you and your faith.)
But including Glenn Beck in your movie? That’s neither well nor good.
This is not someone you want in your movie, no matter what you believe.
Beck shows up at the end, playing himself, in an epilogue. He oozes sincerity and compassion.
Ugh."
-https://www.azcentral.com/story/entertainment/movies/billgoodykoontz/2023/04/13/review-nefarious-movie/70068979007/
As for the Pope's Exorcist - some camp Russell Crowe is all I need in my life right now. Genuinely can't wait. I love what that man throws himself into. Genuinely.
Usually I'm fairly good at sniffing those out but this one took me completely by surprise. Scary in a way it certainly did not intend.
You will love Pope's Exorcist. Set in the 80s for some reason, the first line in the movie is "That is a beautiful pig" in Italian, and Russell Crowe speaks in an Italian accent the whole film. Just great, cheesy fun.
OH!!! I’d heard a rumour about a Christian horror movie but had no idea what the title was. Thanks for telling us!!!
I'm so glad I read this comment... I was also considering seeing Nefarious this weekend, it looked like an interesting concept for a horror film. But I will take a hard pass now
I FEEL SAVED BY THIS TOO
I have been trying to warn everyone!
Love this, doing gods’ work by warning people about Christian fundamentalist nonsense and poor-quality filmmaking. 🥰
Likewise!!
Curious about the third "murder." Did it involve Women's toilets?
Also, Leni Reifenstahl made movies too. In a similar vein.
I ASSUME it was about the death penalty, due to the movie's setting but honestly, I wouldn't doubt it being some anti-trans nonsense.
Arghhh, Molly! You missed Glen Beck! LOL. Mark yourself 'safe' from Glen Beck. Great comment - thanks for sharing. ps - if you ever want to see the piss taken from Glen Beck, check out Hal Sparks e.g., https://youtu.be/ACI-f3JLTUA. maybe you like.
I'm grateful to live in New Zealand. While the far right is scary in its transphobia, so far I'm fortunate that my experience of transphobia has largely been subtle not direct and violent. I feel for trans women who are the target of violence more often than trans men like myself are. I can slip into the background with the majority of people not realising I'm trans. Most people don't look past the beard. I felt sad when I saw a flyer for Reality Check Radio in my letterbox (conveniently ignoring the no advertising sign). Peter Williams and Paul Brennan are talented broadcasters. It's so sad they went down the rabbit hole.
I never saw the Peter Williams thing coming. So weird.
Also, as always, nice to have you here Eddie. I like that there are a bunch of comments of support here - nothing but support - and it feels like a sane land.
Yes, sanity is underrated these days! Thanks for providing such a forum.
I live sort of rurally in NZ so a group of our mailboxes sit together at the junction of the road. When I opened ours to find that Reality Check Radioout flyer I promptly tore it up and then happily went about removing all my neighbours' ones and tearing them up too. I know tampering with post is illegal (probably just addressed mail I imagine) but bite me bitch. When will people realise that the only groups who send physical flyers these days are god botherers, conspiratorialists, the local handy man. Even Farmers has given up on mailers 😂
I tore mine up into teeny tiny shreds and put the shreds in the dog's freshly used poo bag. It felt appropriate.
Yup, I got one as well.
I use it as a book mark when I'm reading three recently-released books on consipiracism; "Fake Believe" by Dylan Reeve, "Fear" by Byron C Clark, and "Trust the Plan", by Will Sommer. (There's a fourth one I'm on the look-out for; "Histories of Hate", edited by Matthew Cunningham, Marinus La Rooij and Paul Spoonley.)
While I've delved a little through the first two, I'm focusing firstly on "Trust the Plan". It is chilling. Especially when conspiracy cultists move from their Alternative Reality cyberworld, into the Real World to harass innocent people. But it's a precursor to "Fear" and "Make Believe"... and far more gripping than any work of fiction I've ever read.
Thanks for the titles!
It's not mail. It's advertising. I figure it's fair game. I too tore mine up.
They're not silly using physical mail outs, it's good marketing - it gets past any algorithmic filtering/echo chamber. You have to physically pick it up - better than the junk folder of email.
This is a good point I hadn't thought of. You're right, if I were on social media, I doubt my algorithm would ever feed me Reality Check Radio ads. I wonder how many fence sitters this shit does convince though? I thought you sort of already need to have one foot in the rabbit hole to be dragged into it by such ads?
https://open.spotify.com/show/6dqqC8nkBTC3ldRs7pP4qn?si=YDevqOvuRVOJAXoiVQj27g
I think they are probably targeting those with a foot already down the rabbit hole due to algorithmic suggestion, with the physical handouts. Links to a couple of my favourite podcasts below if you like podcasts! Never underestimate what the cooked algorithm will achieve....
https://open.spotify.com/show/6dqqC8nkBTC3ldRs7pP4qn?si=YDevqOvuRVOJAXoiVQj27g
Thanks for this, Hayden hits the nail on the head. I was raging, absolutely raging, during the whole Posey Parker fiasco. The ludicrous statements made by the antitrans brigade claiming to want to protect women, to be working in women's best interests, made me yell at the television on several occasions. Where are these people when a teenage girl gets stalked and seriously sexually assaulted by a man who followed her to her home and chased her into a park? Where are these people when a man rapes and murders a woman with Down syndrome going for her daily walk? Where are these people when a mother is raped and murdered on her way home from work at the hospital? I was born in 1972 and spent my teenage years in the 80s in Auckland. I was sexually harrassed on numerous occasions in numerous settings - in cafes, on public transport, outside art galleries, just standing at a fucking pedestrian crossing - I was sexually assaulted twice, once aged 16 and again aged 18. Guess who the perpetrators were? Hint: not trans men, not trans women. I have only ever been attacked and made to feel unsafe by hetero cisgender men. I remember the days of Alfies nightclub in Auckland and the feeling of safety therein, with the drag queens on the door effectively seeing off any drunken harassers who might try to follow you inside. As a cisgender woman I can only say thank you to the whole rainbow community for always making me feel loved and cared for and safe and for giving me some of the best friendships of my life. To my transgender neice I just want to say, be your beautiful, authentic self and fuck the naysayers, they know nothing. Let them choke on their own ignorance and prejudice
I'm trans non-binary, AFAB, and my parents are anti trans. They won't talk to me now. And they refused to even engage with me on the topic, so I don't even understand where they're coming from. They are religious, but I'm not sure exactly what they've been listening to or watching to pick up this idea. It breaks my heart and leaves me fearful. I do fear that one day I'll walk into the women's public toilets which I've used all my life, and get challenged because I don't look feminine enough. It's a scary future for those of us who just want to be our authentic selves.
Jae - I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I hope you find this wormy spot a safe space, and I hope that reading the comments here you find yourself in good company.
So, so much love your way.
Oh Jae, that must be so hard. I hope that something helps your parents to see things differently, and that you have other people in your family/chosen family/friendily standing by you.
I am so sorry you are going through this. You deserve all the good things. <3
Thanks for this. One of the main issues I have with the terfs is their hypocrisy. I am a former sex worker, which means I grew up with Queens (trans sex workers), all working to get money to be able to transition. The Queens would all talk about the married cis men clients. These men would say things like what a good Christian they are (I used to tease some of my clients about that). I believe that it will be these same men who were clients of Queens who will do all the ranting and raging about terf stuff.
It's very nice to have you here, Jazmine.
Oh my gosh thank you
Guaranteed. Interesting perspective, thanks Jazmine!
Oh my god, I bet you're right. They only want to police OTHER PEOPLE'S lives, not their own.
'Now mainly preoccupied with making sure all the doodles and vaginas are in their preferred locations ahead of the apocalypse.'
Best line. It really is bizarre that post pandemic, heading for extinction level event with climate change or the possibility of nuclear war, all they want is to check ya vag is in the right place before we all die anyway.
How will they police it if trans women can't use a public toilet? Will they have the gestapo waiting outside the toilet asking people to lift their skirts or drop their pants to check genital status? Where does it end? Will they not let me in if I haven't tidied up down there for a while? Will there be a 'clean' area and a 'dirty' area where women who haven't been 'ruined' by childbirth are separated from the rest of us?
Who's the pedophile now, fuckers?
I have heard stories of sis het women being hassled for not looking feminine enough, just horrid
The bizarre thing is that some butch women, who have experienced these exact hassles directed to them in the past, are now hassling trans women based on the same myths. Val Little was on Quilted Bananas talking about this a while back, I think it might have been this episode: https://accessmedia.nz/Player.aspx?eid=f8e4f4b8-5010-4a50-b6d5-be75002a78d9
But this has always been so - sometimes overtly by others and sometimes subversively to ourselves as we see the images that surround us.
David, I'm so sorry you have Strep, I hope those antibiotics are doing a proper job of fixing you up.
I have been watching the trans-phobia rachet up th last few years, and it's becoming ridiculous. I don't know why some people can't just let others be who they are. Even in our own family (my nephew is trans) people can't get their heads around it. I say "there's nothing to get your head around! it's not your life, just be happy they are happy" but it's like banging your head against a brick wall, because they believe it's fundamentally wrong. Haters always look to cast blame on parents, on 'misguided' society, on not being able to 'council your own children' (but they really mean conversion therapy) on wokeness, like being kind and accepting to and of each other is a bad thing. I was beguinning to think the world was going to move foward, but if course that won't happen until we get dragged backwards again through all of the shit. I really hope we can move past this. Big love to all my Trans webworm fam out there, I hope you are safe❤️
I love that this can be a safe place for trans readers. All these comments a reminder of that.
I feel for your nephew. Family should be accepting and when you don't get it there - ugh.
Much aroha your way, and your nephew's way.
Thanks David, Keep warm, get some chicken broth soup into you😊 xx
That’s exactly my response too!
My brother is trans and although our friends/family support him and are no threat, there have been so many discussions around it and comments where they feel like it’s a phase or they don’t understand it - and I have to keep pushing a “live and let live” attitude & letting them know that they don’t even have to understand! Instead of being judgemental, maybe just love and support him and his journey, and feel grateful they aren’t in a position where they have to go through it it all themselves!!
He is the happiest he’s ever been since coming out as trans and has so much more confidence and a much fuller life now, so I know he’s on the right track!!
I wish people everywhere could just get on board and see that we all have our own lives to live, we don’t all have to walk the exact same path - there are so many different and beautiful ways to be a healthy happy human!
100% agree with everything you said😊 we have a loving family too, but religious bias has alot to do with it for a few elders (who do put a brave face on dispute their personal beliefs) The young ones are all well ahead of the elders in love and understanding however. If the future is reflected in them then we will all be just fine (if we survive the Ai😜) Great to hear about your brother... my nephew is so happy now too😁😎
Yay, I’m so happy for your nephew!!!
I'm glad your nephew has you around. Thank you for speaking up in your family.
One of the narratives I've been hearing from the anti-vaxx, anti-trans mob (what IS the collective noun for them btw?) is around the 'pure body' theory. They believe by not having been vaccinated, they've become a special class of what they call 'pure bloods'. The whole reason for the lunacy surrounding Baby Will and his need for a life-saving blood transfusion... but only if that blood came from an anti-vaxxer's veins.
Now the focus is on being a 'pure' or 'real' woman. Trans men don't seem to feature as much as trans women in their world, and nor do intersex people. Go figure. And it goes further. They believe the purpose of The Great Reset is to turn human beings into machines and they can this Trans Humanism. It started with the chips we had inserted into us via the Covid vaccination, next is changing our gender and the final stage is to have machines surgically transplanted into us. And all of it is funded by Big Pharma, left-wing governments and reptilian overlords.
But the thing that disturbs this feminist the most is that awful ideology of the pure or perfect woman. It denies the reality of the diversity of all women, non-binary, and intersex folks. It sets a standard by which women must adhere to in order to be defined as a woman. It's body shaming, patriarchal bullshit at best and eugenics at its worst.
I wonder where this will land and I feel so deeply for trans and non-binary communities who just want to live a quiet life.
I'm just glad to know I'm on the right (left?) side of history in this and I so appreciate this platform and your work, David to know there are many of us.
Kia kaha
I feel like a lot of the erasure of trans men and our non-binary and otherwise gender-divergent siblings in the brainwork community is because so much of what you set out stems from internalised misogyny - no woman can ever live up to their perfect ideal, so women “escaping” into masculinity (or “levelling up” to becoming a man) is really hard to challenge - if men have all the advantages because they’re the superior gender, why would you *not* want to ‘swap teams’? If femininity is something rarified and sacred, but also inherently lesser, then the only reasons for abandoning your position and stepping down into womanhood are nefarious ones.
I mean, it would have been so much easier for the reptilian overlords to just deal with humanity a couple-of-hundred-thousand years ago, before we had invented guns and mass communication and x-ray machines and shit. I feel like I could pretty much head back in time and become ruler of all civilisation with a pocket calculator and a can of fly spray... Feels like the elites really missed a trick there.
I firmly believe that there is a high level management of these discourses going on by people with access to serious concentrations of political power. There is a lot to be gained and lost in an election year and the centre-right and right here in NZ have form.
An equal and opposite conspiracy orientation, if you like.
Yes there’s dirty politics going on. The RW parties that have no answers to current issues are stoking culture wars to cover how useless they are. They don’t care who suffers as a result
For sure. And I think the tendrils of influence and loose networks by which these narratives are being propounded are carefully assembled and curated, and further reaching than most imagine.
I do wonder if there is a link here to shifting power structures (ha which is perhaps David & Hayden’s point).
The anti-vax crew describe feeling let down by their government (who they felt did not protect them, ie their right to choose medical treatment) and also by private multinational companies (ie that their products should at least do no harm).
(NB: that’s me surmising a little of what they’ve said, genuinely not trying to get into a debate here.)
At the same time, groups with conservative morals are now living in a society with a vastly different worldview, and one that doesn’t automatically convey them with any moral power (like how NZ/Western society had in, say, the 1950s).
Both of those things mean you’ve got people who feel way more separated from the rest of society, at a political, moral and social level.
I see people pointing at ‘evidence’ of how large groups people are supposedly being manipulated. I think this gives the ‘pointers’ feelings of referent power.
Tautoko earlier comments about these people being manipulated. I feel like fires are being stoked -- and a lot of othering going on. Which is generally very unhelpful.
How about we’re all just nice to each other? Including in public restrooms?
🤷🏼♀️
Yeah cheers for sharing your thoughts. I think this line is especially important:
"I see people pointing at ‘evidence’ of how large groups people are supposedly being manipulated. I think this gives the ‘pointers’ feelings of referent power."
It is an important reminder to make sure one's analysis has as little in the way of self-serving elements as one is able to reflexively iron out.
I think, though, that there is enough evidence to say with confidence that large groups of people are being manipulated. This is not a new thing. From 'torches of freedom' to Cambridge Analytica: this is the nature of ideology. Power consolidates itself by distributing knowledge. The only real argument is who is doing it at any given point and what the goals are.
Completely agree that othering is unhelpful, in all its forms. There is a really difficult line to be walked between rejection of harmful discourses and the avoidance of undermining the identities that they come to form a part of. Olive branches are not easy to craft here.
Nothing makes my day worse than reading a Webworm guest post on a vital issue that’s intelligent, funny and timely. I wince at every well-made point, and laugh at the jokes through gritted teeth.
:P
Genuine guffaw.
This is my colleague’s sister - massively into conspiracy theories during covid lockdown and now suddenly abandoning all of that to focus with a similar intensity on genitals.
In the words of my colleague: “She’s really fucking gullible”.