Really, I think we *all* need a small dead animal to tell us "Fuck You" every day just to remind ourselves that yes, things could be worse. Or possibly better, I don't know. Maybe I should write that into my will: taxidermy me from the rib cage up flipping the bird with both hands and mount me on a nice plaque with a "Fuck You" caption for my descendants to keep on the wall in perpetuity.
It is completely and totally absurd that they all rejected your shipment. There's nothing about that in any sort of prohibited aspect for any of the carriers as far as I know, and that it was busy being rejected by those employees is absurd. That's just people who can't be bothered to do their job, and you didn't push back to have them explain where in the policies it is prohibited. USPS even sends live day-old chicks through the mail, as a very specific service that can be requested. In fact, this taxidermy service (http://hardenstaxidermy.com/how-to-ship/) suggests any of the major three for shipping the ORIGINAL ANIMAL to them, frozen and pre-taxidermy processing. (Though they discourage USPS for losing too many items.) So if you can send it to them pre-processing, you can surely send it post-processing, when now it is just an "award plaque".
Well, the taxidermy example is sending in a deceased, frozen animal carcass, not a live animal. But if you would like to mail live animals, USPS has a very handy policy around that: https://pe.usps.com/text/pub52/pub52c5_008.htm, so you can walk in with a "Baby Alligator" up to 20 inches in length and it is shippable. Additionally, I see that document has "Exhibit 526.7 - Requirements for Mailing Dead Animals or Parts of Animals" of which yours would fall into Group B and seems completely in compliance with policy. While I hate bureaucracy and obstructionism, I love using their policies against people who try to tell me it's not allowed, and then force them to follow their own policy. I did have to concede with the TSA once to make my flight (though I believe I was in the right, under the then-current policy), and have won with the IRS and others.
The Annals of Improbable Research are the people who host the Ig Nobel prizes, which are quite interesting and often thought-provoking, after you finish giggling.
I’m languishing on my couch with my second bout of COVID today, so this was a nice pick me up. As much as a taxidermied squirrel can be considered a pick me up.
There’s something so satisfying about giving people the double bird. I should do it more often.
Ugh, I'm sorry. How was it versus the first time? I found the 2nd time kicked my ass even more. The good news (for me, anyway) there hasn't been a third (touch wood and all that stuff).
I should have just lied about what was in the box, I guess. Thing is, I wanted to make sure it was packed well and safe, so wanted to use their bubble wrap etc!
That's too funny Reminds me of a guy in UK making a living out of selling Taxidermy like rat pencil cases hilarous you can guess where he hides pencil sharpeners ;) ! I noted that you can't send Postage stamps via UPS - how odd! Mind you, what isn't in the US these days!
Sometimes, when I wonder if I am actually living in some fucked up acid dream and this isnt real life, this will be one of the storylines that supports my theory.
I cannot handle that any American would bat an eye at a taxidermy mount. Granted, I am a Southerner born and bred. Maybe I'm immune? Did we not all grow up seeing this stuff in people's houses?? 😂
There's a lot of regional variation. It's common in rural areas and places where hunting is big. I'm guessing it's more of a curiosity in Chicago, but Illinois has a statewide hunting culture.
I love everything about this story! The item itself, the fact that the guy who stuffed him uses road kill and is from Alabama (of course he’s from Alabama!), the interactions with the postal staff, and of course the reminder to us all to lighten up! 10/10 story telling 👏🏻
When I saw this on your IG, I thought, "he must have had it shipped to himself, no way will they let you fly with a dead animal, even domestic." So I'm very glad to have the full story because I was quite curious. Glad ya made it, little buddy!
I recently had a roe buck skull shipped to me in the UK, so I'm really intrigued why they wouldn't ship your little guy. What could possibly be the problem?
Very funny though, much needed laugh today.
Note - the skull is ethically sourced and processed by the forest witch 6 on insta. She finds roadkill and naturally deceased animals and processes their remains.
Note 2 - I have the new NIN song on repeat and its glorious.
As for the shipping issues... I just think I had very bad luck in two stores? I am gonna ask next time I go to my local here in LA, just to see if it was a Chicago thing...
The thought of you dragging this squirrel across the country is so damn funny! Thanks for the laugh. I needed it and I’m sure others do too!! 🐿️
I had him sitting next to me on the chair while eating sushi alone. Or was I alone? By that point it had just become 100% normal.
Really, I think we *all* need a small dead animal to tell us "Fuck You" every day just to remind ourselves that yes, things could be worse. Or possibly better, I don't know. Maybe I should write that into my will: taxidermy me from the rib cage up flipping the bird with both hands and mount me on a nice plaque with a "Fuck You" caption for my descendants to keep on the wall in perpetuity.
It honestly has helped me with some stuff over the last week. A very simply and funny reframe of things.
It is completely and totally absurd that they all rejected your shipment. There's nothing about that in any sort of prohibited aspect for any of the carriers as far as I know, and that it was busy being rejected by those employees is absurd. That's just people who can't be bothered to do their job, and you didn't push back to have them explain where in the policies it is prohibited. USPS even sends live day-old chicks through the mail, as a very specific service that can be requested. In fact, this taxidermy service (http://hardenstaxidermy.com/how-to-ship/) suggests any of the major three for shipping the ORIGINAL ANIMAL to them, frozen and pre-taxidermy processing. (Though they discourage USPS for losing too many items.) So if you can send it to them pre-processing, you can surely send it post-processing, when now it is just an "award plaque".
Are you saying that next time I should fill in some forms, and take a *live* squirrel in next time?
(Genuinely curious if their reaction would be less or more horrified than the stuffed one)
Well, the taxidermy example is sending in a deceased, frozen animal carcass, not a live animal. But if you would like to mail live animals, USPS has a very handy policy around that: https://pe.usps.com/text/pub52/pub52c5_008.htm, so you can walk in with a "Baby Alligator" up to 20 inches in length and it is shippable. Additionally, I see that document has "Exhibit 526.7 - Requirements for Mailing Dead Animals or Parts of Animals" of which yours would fall into Group B and seems completely in compliance with policy. While I hate bureaucracy and obstructionism, I love using their policies against people who try to tell me it's not allowed, and then force them to follow their own policy. I did have to concede with the TSA once to make my flight (though I believe I was in the right, under the then-current policy), and have won with the IRS and others.
Now if you just want to have fun with "what can I mail?", then you're quite interested in this "Postal Experiments" research paper from the Annals of Improbable Research in July 2000: https://improbable.com/annals-of-improbable-research-july-august-2000-vol-6-number-4/ which apparently got a followup in 2011 from the National Association of Letter Carriers: https://www.nalc.org/news/the-postal-record/2011/april-2011/document/04-2011_strange.pdf
The Annals of Improbable Research are the people who host the Ig Nobel prizes, which are quite interesting and often thought-provoking, after you finish giggling.
I have always wanted a bat 🦇 that says something ironic and miserable, so seeing this is perfect. That was brilliant to read.
God bats are the coolest. Except of course they can carry rabies, unlike my squirrel friend.
I’m languishing on my couch with my second bout of COVID today, so this was a nice pick me up. As much as a taxidermied squirrel can be considered a pick me up.
There’s something so satisfying about giving people the double bird. I should do it more often.
Ugh, I'm sorry. How was it versus the first time? I found the 2nd time kicked my ass even more. The good news (for me, anyway) there hasn't been a third (touch wood and all that stuff).
Round two is actually much milder for me, actually. I thought it was just allergies at first.
Here's to neither of us getting it a third time!
Hope you are on the mend, Joe!
Gave one of my neighbours the double bird. They deserved it and it felt wonderful.
Duality of people.
Sometimes you are a deranged psycho, sometimes you a a welcome breath of comedy and fresh air. Then, sometimes you are somewhere in between.
That is a great yarn! Love it.
Not normally a fan of taxidermy, but I would probably consider little mate F U as an exception.
Yeah, so true. At UPS I was a psycho, at FedEx I seemed like the funniest and easiest thing in their day.
You should have just told them it was a stuffed animal. Technically correct, if a bit misleading... which is my entire personality, probably.
I should have just lied about what was in the box, I guess. Thing is, I wanted to make sure it was packed well and safe, so wanted to use their bubble wrap etc!
That's too funny Reminds me of a guy in UK making a living out of selling Taxidermy like rat pencil cases hilarous you can guess where he hides pencil sharpeners ;) ! I noted that you can't send Postage stamps via UPS - how odd! Mind you, what isn't in the US these days!
Someone else just pointed this out! I assume because it has a specific monetary value? Still really odd.
Sometimes, when I wonder if I am actually living in some fucked up acid dream and this isnt real life, this will be one of the storylines that supports my theory.
Very happy to give you some supporting material. I felt the same way, living it!
I cannot handle that any American would bat an eye at a taxidermy mount. Granted, I am a Southerner born and bred. Maybe I'm immune? Did we not all grow up seeing this stuff in people's houses?? 😂
I wonder if I just had very bad luck at these two specific places in Chicago...
I had to do a little research, of course.
There's a lot of regional variation. It's common in rural areas and places where hunting is big. I'm guessing it's more of a curiosity in Chicago, but Illinois has a statewide hunting culture.
"Wikipedia it" - the primary care provider of our generation
I love everything about this story! The item itself, the fact that the guy who stuffed him uses road kill and is from Alabama (of course he’s from Alabama!), the interactions with the postal staff, and of course the reminder to us all to lighten up! 10/10 story telling 👏🏻
When I saw this on your IG, I thought, "he must have had it shipped to himself, no way will they let you fly with a dead animal, even domestic." So I'm very glad to have the full story because I was quite curious. Glad ya made it, little buddy!
But why can't you ship postage stamps?
Sorry, what? You can't? I feel I am missing a joke here!
Yeah, they're on the list of prohibited items!
Weird. I saw that and wondered
too.
Classic Farrier...
I recently had a roe buck skull shipped to me in the UK, so I'm really intrigued why they wouldn't ship your little guy. What could possibly be the problem?
Very funny though, much needed laugh today.
Note - the skull is ethically sourced and processed by the forest witch 6 on insta. She finds roadkill and naturally deceased animals and processes their remains.
Note 2 - I have the new NIN song on repeat and its glorious.
What a great single - been blasting it LOUDLY (for anyone interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Sj-FmI5JfA)
As for the shipping issues... I just think I had very bad luck in two stores? I am gonna ask next time I go to my local here in LA, just to see if it was a Chicago thing...
I'm so excited for the whole Tron Ares soundtrack. Bummer that Jared is the film but Jeff Bridges more than compensates for that.
Please give us a little update when you ask about shipping taxidermy in LA.