128 Comments

Great piece! It's brought up a strange memory - while living in Perth WA many years ago, I had a friend who was obsessed with the puzzles/competitions/stories in That's Life (she was in her 20s at the time). She actually ended up winning a car from them as a result....which she soon crashed spectacularly, and was featured in the mag for the accident! That's Life I guess! 😅

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I almost can't believe this. Um - is there ANY chance you could contact her still? Facebook maybe? This is incredible and I want to follow it up. If there is any chance - email me please Lucy! davidfarrier@protonmail.com.

Mind is spinning.

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Yep it's crazy right! I will try to get hold of her & let you know David!

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These covers make me think what it must be like to have nasty voices in your head.

Blah blah normal conversation (SHE WANTS TO BURN YOU ALIVE) blah blah (AND THE DOG)

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I was in one of these magazines once - Lucky Break.

I got married on the day of the Christchurch earthquake, and our driver said he knew a journalist who might be interested. They interviewed me over the phone, then wrote the whole article in first person as if I'd written it myself. They stuck to my story somewhat faithfully, but they added some made up quotes and chose what they wanted to emphasize. It was weird reading the events of my own life but retold in someone else's voice.

That said, it was a positive experience over all. I knew what I was getting into and they paid me $2k for the story. I found the whole thing pretty funny tbh.

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Absolutely stunning. Er - I may follow this up, if you're OK with me using this or want to expand on it a little (or do you have a copy?!) feel free to drop me a line - davidfarrier@protonmail.com. All optional of course!

PS happy wedding, gosh

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I think we could do a ‘that’s life’ cover generator, and use plots from Hannibal, to great comic effect.

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GRANS CAR NEARLY CUT HER IN HALF as GIANT BOOB takes two week cruise to MAJORCA.

Not too Hannibally but it’s a start

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My friends lungs were removed by the Chesapeake Ripper. That's Life!

Man uses intestines of my neighbor to make cello strings. That's Life!

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and here is a delicious recipe for your husbands brains!

(serve with fava beans and a nice chianti)

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Ok this thread is my fave on Webworm so far!

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Dang it I can’t add pictures to the comments! I have a blank slate That’s Life cover ready to go...

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I brushed my hair and was BURNT ALIVE!

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"Man eats own leg after plane crash, hops 500 miles to hospital."

"Win a new leg on our puzzle page"

"When they said they had to cut my husband from the wreckage of our car I didn't realise they were going to cut MY car!".

But that's life I guess.

;-)

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I was added to a corpse totem pole... BY MY FATHER

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I fell into a diabetic coma and became a MUSHROOM FARM

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This story is already way too long but there's one extra thing I should've included. I wondered how they pump out this many stories of death, misery and woe every week. The world is a bad place but there can't be that many people being burned alive or stuffed in the freezer, and even less that are willing to talk about the experience. So how do they put this magazine together?

One trick might be mentioned in the story (repurposing stories from other parts of the world and fudging the location). I've also heard that editors and writers might trawl Givealittle pages to find content. But the key reason why they're able to get so many stories is that the people who appear in the magazine get paid a fee. So if you ever find yourself getting axed and turned into cat food by a rabid real estate agent or something, it's not all bad: you might be able to ring up That's Life! and tell your tale for a tidy cash payment.

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I think there’s a misogynistic subliminal message in the lovely bright cheery colours and photos on the covers of That’s Life. Can it be a message mostly to women?... no matter how crazy, sick, diabolically evil life gets, pick your self up, dust yourself off, put your make up on, put your self together, be young, look pretty, keep smiling, show your pearly white teeth, don’t show anyone how bad it is or how it feels and carry on. It’s your job to manage and please. That’s life. 🤷‍♂️

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I wonder if there's also a fear aspect to it as well. The darkest interpretation would be that it's stoking terror of the outside world as a tool of subjugation by stopping women from wanting to take risks or go out. Another would be that it's just stoking fear of the other. But probably the most likely thing is that it's just tapping into people's deepest anxieties as a selling tool

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Or subverting the misogyny... Like, this magazine looks hella respectable but inside get your rocks off to gory as shit 🤣

I'm sure it's not but I have a compulsive tendency to try to see the silver lining and best in everyone 😬

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FIFTY OF MY COWORKERS STABBED ME TO DEATH! Would be my favourite recently read death if converted to a suitable reality mag headline (which is, of course, one Julius Caesar on the Ides of March). Those mags would have had a field day in Roman times.

Maybe they could have then followed up with a helpful self evaluation style quiz “Am I popular at work and what to do if you think your co-workers are plotting to assassinate you!” All in a cheery fashion of course.

I used to buy advertising space in the UK print market in the early 2000’s and this type of magazine was brilliant for us. The rates were relatively cheap but the audiences they gave you were massive. Always an easy way to bump up your campaign reach figures - and they usually had some good entertainment budgets too!

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I guess advertising keeps them flying. Never knew they were so popular, but I guess it does explain why they are everywhere and there are so many iterations. Amazing.

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I really hate to say this because it's one of the things that drives me nuts about my mother's side of the family... That's Life! sounds like the magazine version of sitting down for a Kirby family dinner.

The folks on that side of my family have that offensively stereotypically Irish obsession with people dying. It's mostly an older generation thing but sometimes I see fainter traces of it in my older cousins and even myself.

One night, I kid you not, the words, "Hey do you remember that boy who burned to death outside the church because his altar boy robes caught fire and no one was able to put him out in time? What was his name again? He was in your grade, right?," were uttered over takeout with such an alarmingly casual air. Us younger folks at the table immediately stopped and all stared at each other wide-eyed, silently questioning, "I know they always talk about people who died but children burning to death can't possibly become the new norm for dinner table dialogue... Can it?"

Sounds like a perfect headline story for That's Life, doesn't it?

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Incredible. The Irish obsession with people dying. I am sure the Titan story was consumed with glee!

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Oh dear. I think I’ve just realised this is my side of the family too 😳

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Welcome to the family 😄

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My moms side of the family is the Irish side. Until reading this comment I didn’t realize this was a thing but it totally makes sense now. These conversations were pretty common with that side of the family and she’s obsessed with true crime

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I don't remember how or when I first realized it was an Irish thing but I was recently reading a book where the dad was described as a "typical" Irish dad and one of the quirks mentioned for what made him a typical Irish dad was that he made a habit of routinely reading obituaries and calling out "you'll never guess who just died" to his wife every time he came across a name he knew. When I read that part, it just made me feel like, "Well dang, that sure hit the nail on the head..." "You'll never guess who just died," could be the tagline for our family dinners you hear it so much.

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OH MY GOSH, LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST PLEASE: https://gimletmedia.com/shows/heavyweight/39hd5b5

"In 1525, the Archbishop of Glasgow placed a curse on the Elliott family. Now, 500 years later, one very unlucky branch of the Elliotts wants it lifted."

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Thank you for the recommendation. That was an absolute roller coaster!

At 3 minutes in, I was crying from laughing at how relatable this was. Then, just a few minutes further, I feel relieved to say it was so unrelatable in its extremes that it didn't feel real. The Kirbys might have a predilection for talking about misfortune but I'm happy to say we're relatively (maybe slightly above) average in terms of attracting it. The length and specificity of that curse was insane. It sort of reminded me of a book curse Sandy Toksvig once read out on QI but magnified a hundred-fold - and I thought that book curse was pretty thorough as it was.

My personality is very much at war with itself - I like to believe I'm mostly an extremely rational/scientific person but I acknowledge there are parts of my mentality that definitely aren't. This is one of those areas. While I wouldn't go so far as to say curses are real, I do believe positive and negative energies can have some level of real-world impact. That's honestly part of why I can't stand the way our family fixates on this stuff. The less rational part of me feels like the more you talk about doom and gloom type stuff, the more likely you are to attract more of it to you.

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Omg I had no idea this was Irish! My mum is the same. Always wants to tell us about the 35 year old son of friend of cousin who was perfectly healthy and died of the flu etc etc ad nauseum. Just yesterday she sent me a news link with the message “this is why I don’t like roller coasters!” so I could read all about the poor Swede who died. And yes her maternal side were all Irish.

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My great grandmother used to love talking about murders.

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I'm just super keen to read "My puss thinks he's a parrot"

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I'm glad someone else noticed it. I've been going on about this magazine for years to my friends. It unlocked a new fear for me when I was 16 that I could be pregnant and not know till it was happening.

I read easily 3-4 stories about it in my youth in Thats Life and I'll never get over it. Hidden in plain site the bloody thing

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I mean, if we're being honest, where do we keep the husband other than in the freezer?

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I have often wondered about those magazines, but wonder no more... my curiosity is sated.

I think the next webworm tee should have a ‘That’s Life’ headline emblazoned across it.

Did I hear you say why not have a readers competition to find the best ‘That’s Life’ death? What a great idea!

I’ll start.

Tragic Zoo Trip: Nan trampled to death by Galapagos Tortoise

Seriously though - Thank you Hayden, cool story

M

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I would buy a webworm That's Life shirt faster than I did the Hannibal one 😅😅😅

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THANK YOU for this ARTICLE. I found it very INTERESTING.

I went on a couple roller coasters yesterday, and there's a kind of high you feel afterward probably due to adrenaline. I guess some people have roller coasters and some people have GRAN BURNT ALIVE.

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It's a great format to type in.

Using it in all my emails going forward.

Reminds me a lot of how easy it is to write SAD! after something, in Trump fashion. It gets under you skin!

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My very nice, very normal (like really, actually normal) grandmother reads these, I think Paul Wilson is right, I can see that her family and peers would think it inappropriate, and not normal for a nice mother/grandmother lady to enjoy a bit of gore, but it's perfectly normal for her to buy a shiney magazine that also has crosswords in it. In my experience old ladies share the most gruesome stories with each other.... I think this has been going on forever in some way, women sharing gorey ass stories with each other

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Grandmas into gore. I love it.

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Thank you Hayden! On a Monday morning where I started off my work day frustrated, I immediately popped over to read this. Just what I needed :) "That's life!" is gonna be in my head now from this point on.

I feel like one of my Dad's childhood stories could be a "That's Life!" cover, it would be titled "My babysitter murdered 2 people and buried them in her garage" (Except that story is actually real)

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That's life!

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You need to submit that asap! Might win a car...

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When you're chewing on life's gristle

Don't grumble, give a whistle

And this'll help things turn out for the best....

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