The QAnon documentary: I watched it so you don't have to.

Flashy production doesn't cover up a truly terrible story.

This is a short post. A power-read.

It’s just something I wanted to get off my chest.

I made the mistake recently of watching Out of Shadows (I am not linking to it, it doesn’t deserve the clicks), the ‘documentary’ that goes out of its way to never mention QAnon — but is very much about QAnon.

For a quick catchup: QAnon is the batshit far-right conspiracy theory that says the deep state/Satan is planning to take down Donald Trump. The whole mess started back in 2017 when some idiot posted on 4Chan as “Q”, dropping cryptic messages that caught the imagination of idiots everywhere.

They read like this (and are taken as gospel by followers):

You’d think the whole thing would have died out, but when the actual President of the United States himself keeps retweeting QAnon accounts - the whole thing tends to stay alive. English professors even try to teach it in their class!

(If you want to know more about QAnon, the QAnon Anonymous podcast is a fun place to start).

Now most of the YouTube videos about the conspiracy are badly made nightmares.

But recently Out of Shadows popped up, and while it’s still a total mess, it has some semblance of being “a real thing”.

The ‘documentary’ website sums it up like this:

“The Out Of Shadows documentary lifts the mask on how the mainstream media & Hollywood manipulate & control the masses by spreading propaganda throughout their content. Our goal is to wake up the general public by shedding light on how we all have been lied to & brainwashed by a hidden enemy with a sinister agenda. This project is the result of two years of blood, sweat and tears by a team of woke professionals.”

I had to stifle a giggle at “woke professionals”, but everything about QAnon and the idiots who buy into it is quite funny. I mean just look at these plonkers:

The only thing that stops is being funny is when people try and shoot up a pizza joint in the name of Q.

Anyway, I watched the ‘documentary’, which begins in semi-sane territory, profiling an ex-Hollywood stuntman who gets a lower back injury and has to quit his job.

Injured at home, he does the healthy thing and starts watching YouTube videos and reading twitter. Things take a further turn for the worse when he meets a pelvic floor therapist who not only massages his pelvis, but starts praying for him on a regular basis. She also begins to tell him about the secret (see: evil) origins of Hollywood.

This is all recounted with a sober, straight-faced intensity.

The stuntman then undergoes some kind of transformation, looking back to his Hollywood days, suddenly understanding all the satanic underpinnings of Hollywood. It gets particularly batshit when the film Zoolander is analysed, as an example of Hollywood seeding the idea of “mind control” as being funny… and therefore attractive. Warming us up for the real thing.

Along the way, QAnon voices like Liz Crokin appear in the ‘documentary’. I suppose the idea is that for newbies watching, she will come across as a logical, authoritative voice (despite being neither of these things).

It all inevitably heads towards the kiddie porn dungeons that Q proponents believe are being run by Hilary Clinton (sometimes in the basements of pizza joints).

I suppose the overall takeaway is that Satan is planning a big coup of society. And that Trump knows this and is going to stand up to him. Trump v Satan!

But as I watched it — the filmmakers revelling in this new information they’d discovered — I thought to myself, “Oh for fucks sake, I’ve heard this all before!”

Except that documentary was called Hell’s Bells, and I saw it back when I was 16 at the private Christian school I attended.

Our teacher made us watch Hell’s Bells in music class (instead of, you know, teaching us about music), and it posited that most rock and pop music was run by Satan. Through lyrics and music videos, Satan would get into our brains and souls, eventually taking over the world.

It was exactly the same narrative as this QAnon stuff, but instead of Hollywood, it was music. And instead of secret messages in Zoolander, it was back-masking in AC/DC songs.

I suppose what I am saying is that all this bullshit is just other bullshit that’s been repackaged.

I was annoyed at it in music class back in 1998, and I’m annoyed at this stupid QAnon documentary now. And for some reason, the leader of the United States seems to be quite into it in 2020.

What the fuck!

My advice? Don’t give the Q people another click by watching their mindless, stupid film. If you’re going to waste your time on weird propaganda documentaries, make it Hell’s Bells.

It’s funnier.

Much love,

David.