134 Comments

“Brian Wolfe has confidence like the sun has heat.” And Daniel Smith has a way with words.

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"dangerously devoid of all dopamine".. he absolutely does!

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Thanks team! Wait until you read how this story ends!

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You are a real tease, Dan. I like that people here can receive your story in peace and tranquility as opposed to being interrupted 1000 times by drunk revelers!

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the fed/ex courier trick is a good one, can't wait to get the story complete , fraud and rental scams like this would contribute to homelessness no question, I would have wanted to see the agreement/receipt between the pomerian dog guy and Pamphiel ... just a thought

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Can't wait!

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I yelped quite a few times reading Dan's story. Like, actual "yelp" noises escaped my lips.

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Fantastic...welcome Daniel. Especially loved the line about thick fingered boomer scrolling.

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Thanks Chris! No shame on the boomer scrolling, it is also how I roll!

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Add me to the club.

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That is absolutely the most MASSACHUSETTS MAN story I have heard in my whole life. Everyone in Mass knows a guy who knows a guy just like Bryan. They get things DONE in the most hilarious way possible. I mean that's just how we roll here 😅. Once you set your mind to something, that's it, consider it fucking done 🤣. I had to go look him up once I finished reading this to make sure I heard his accent in my head correctly and I guessed right 🤣. I cannot wait for the stunning conclusion of this story. Daniel, welcome to Webworm, this is spectacular!

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I really need to visit. I need some Bryan's in my life.

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David, I just came all the way back here to say that this weeks Flightless absolutely confirms the importance of Massachusetts to America 😉.

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I mean if youre gonna visit for Flightless, we have a whole theme song ❤️❤️. https://youtu.be/YU0q1ztAemw

I have so many sights to show you here!

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Thanks for the welcome Jo! It's great to be here :)

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Brilliant! I read every single line from Wolfe in a thick Boston accent.

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Glad I wasn’t alone.

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This is amazing. I want to see this movie.

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Good stuff and looking forward to the next bit. But, you did make a mistake in trusting a vegan You never trust a vegan. They're currently trying to con us all into believing Beyond meat taste like the real thing. They are trying to take over the world, one seiten at a time.

But the beyond neat is pretty taste. Damn those vegans.

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I was signed up to direct a documentary on the fake meat industry. I got off the project, for a variety of reasons (not my cup of tea) but man - once you start reading the PR those places put out, it's the same promises in a 5 year loop. Very silicon valley Musk vibes.

Look - I am all for figuring out ways not to kill animals, but the way the fake meat industry operates left me with some scepticism!

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Fake meats are both fascinating and repulsive - on the one hand it's extraordinary what food scientists have been able to create with a few extractions and tweaks. On the other it's repulsive that these companies receive multiple rounds of multi-million dollar investments. I don't know much about the companies that make them but if fake meat gurus have even a whiff of tech bro muskiness it's enough to turn me away. Vegetable stands and farmer's markets are more my style anyway. Glad you got off the fake meat project. And super glad you brought Daniel's writing to webworm. Anxiously waiting to hear how this story ends.

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That's pretty interesting. Being in the culinary field, we as an industry experience the waves of diets, fads and newer allergies like gluten that people say affect or change your life. There is usually a company or 2 that pop up and push their products on us. Maybe it's a different kind of thing from what you uncovered, though I would be interested to hear or see what you found. When you did that FB on rehabs, it was insane what you uncovered.

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Smiling - as I am trying to take over my office one vegan lemon cupcake at a time. My office mates would agree they are tasty. Not sold on the Beyond meat though. I make my own mince (that's ground beef or hamburger meat to the americans) with mushrooms and walnuts.

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Im not sold on the beyond stuff solely for all the additives in it. It taste ok though.

And you vegans and your littlw tricks to get us eating vegan food. How can we say no to cupcakes? And you hit us with that " Can you believe these are vegan? " Such contempt from us omnivores!

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Just wanted to say this was a great read, and I'm listening to his song - lovely voice.

PS the horse looks like my horse so I had to listen but I'm glad I did <3

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Aw thank you for the kind words! The horse is called 'Dee', he is a movie horse that was also in Power of the Dog, Mulan, and Lord of the Rings. But he is semi-retired now!

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He is a beautiful beast, Dan.

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Wonderful! After a long day dealing with less than enjoyable things it was sooo good to open up the Webworm & find this riveting story! Glad you wrote it down at the time Daniel, and serendipitously met our David when he was unexpectedly in Aotearoa-NZ at a birthday party he wouldn't have been at if he hadn't hurt his back & had to come home from the USA where he would normally have been ... Meant to be eh? Looking forward to the conclusion, and perhaps future offerings (fingers crossed)

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I feel really lucky to have met Dan. I like it when life lines nice things up like this - a nice thing that gave you a good read after what sounded like maybe a shitty day! Happy.

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Absolute crime they didn't publish this.

I. AM. ENTHRALLED.

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I agree, but secretly happy I got to send it out years later. Part 2 this week. I don't mean to be a tease, it just seemed like the perfect story to split in two, and I think emails can be TOO LONG, so wanted to give you a little break!

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Great writing, Daniel!

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Thank you!

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This is great Daniel, I'm hooked. I'm getting Better Call Saul vibes from this PI haha. Can't wait for the finale next week!!

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Oh my lords, he really is. More Breaking Bad era Saul than the tortured vibes from Better Call Saul perhaps? My heart breaks just thinking of that show!

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I can't wait for the next part! Great way to wake me up for work on a Friday morning.

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It's a goodie!

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Oh boy, I'm hooked - reel, line and sinker. I seriously want to meet Brian. And I'm going to see if I can slip the word "knucklehead" into some conversations over the next week.

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And of course...double knucklehead!

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Heater hogging on a brisk August morning, glued to my phone reading this was a recipe for arriving to work LATE. The extra thrill to learn Daniel is a country musician just made my Friday.

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This is such a nice compliment and makes me very happy Dan let me share his story! And thanks to people like you subscribing, I could pay him for his writing which also makes me very happy.

THANK YOU!

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Haha true, was late to my home office because I had to sit by the fire and finish reading it.

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Hunter S Thompson vibes!

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A hectic road trip of sorts! I can visualise it all in my mind, which I think is a sign that Dan is a really good storyteller / writer!

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I am on the edge of my seat. As someone who spent four months in what I am 95% was an illegal sublet but I was also in a foreign country with a soon expiring visa, I am waiting for the vicarious justice!

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How did that work out for you? Happily, or in chaos?!

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It was a total mess, pretty much anything that could go wrong did, but I was also in my early twenties and could bounce back pretty easily, luckily.

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