115 Comments

Thanks for sharing your Sadness Joshua, it's something so many of us share. There are no easy "answers", but what you're doing is really important.

It might feel like a despair rant, but one of the most powerful things we can do to begin making change is helping to give people language for these incredibly complex but powerful feelings and explore where they might come from.

By narrating this stuff, you're helping us all give voice to something that's difficult to articulate, and feel less alone. From there we can begin to work out what we might do about it together. The decline of collectives have left us as a mass of disconnected individuals who struggle to organise ourselves into a force powerful enough to demand change. Telling powerful stories, even if they are grim, is important work.

Also, I couldn't help picture you as Tommy Lee Jones in "No Country for Old Men" as you wrote this 😆

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I need to watch that movie! Not sure why I haven’t yet

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

Maybe don't do that today 😬

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Update: I watched the movie and loved it, but sadly cannot picture Tommy Lee Jones’ character saying anything longer than about a paragraph

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😆 Maybe you’re the thinking man’s TLJ!

It’s brilliant eh. I found myself rewatching “Burn after reading” the other night - another nihilistic classic.

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And thanks for the update!

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I’m a climate scientist. And I’ve come to realize that it is its very own version of hell, with a very specific form of torture. Climate change is a cancer that has metastasized to every corner of the planet. But instead of complicated treatments that vary from person to person with varying degrees of success, we know exactly how to treat climate change. The difference though is that oncologists don’t have to deal with people thinking cancer is a left-wing conspiracy theory and that it even exists in the first place. So instead of a reasoned discussion of various routes to the decarbonization of the planet, I’m still trying to figure out how to get people to understand that it’s not a conspiracy theory.

I’ve done quite a lot of public outreach over the years, distilling the science down to its most basic components so that anyone can understand it. It used to be easier. But since Trump’s rise I have found that we’ve entered an era where people are so unwilling to consider a different perspective. They are adverse to any information that challenges their world view. This is, of course, not unique to climate science.

It is incredibly depressing to be a climate scientist and it is only getting worse. I used to post monthly updates of rising global temperatures on social media. Engagement diminished with each subsequent month. Even folks who understand the science just don’t have the capacity to care when so much else is going on. But from my perspective, without addressing it directly, and ferociously, suffering will only continue. There will come a time when it is too late. I hope we do something before then.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I’m “Sad” I hide inside endless hours of watching shows on my large television, my main solace my dogs hanging with me while I do, till they get bored and annoyed at my inactivity. I’m 61, my Dad lived to 75, his last 5-8 years were a quagmire of un-wellness, that’s my fate too. I’m looking at that and it makes me Sad and Scared. I feel helpless to change myself but desperately need to. My life is not devoid of joy but it is devoid of motivation to seek, create more personal ‘joy’. Recently, I’ve been questioning my meaning, I never managed the child thing, the fruitful career, I’ve realized that I’m alone a lot and not exploiting my opportunities, when presented, to be around other people. I grew up on books, films, tv shows, comics populated with hero’s, hero myths but my greatest hero was and is my late Sister, she was an actual hero in her representation of those less able to help themselves. Cancer took her, it would have been her 60th birthday a few days ago. We both came from parents who were ‘heroes’ both were active in working for the human right for dignity and security, they, like my Sister gave over the majority of their lives battling for others. I avoid, as much as possible, buying from companies with poor environmental or anti-humanitarian ideologies. I pick up plastic on the beach. I tell people of the horror that is the Koch brothers and their ilk but my ‘agency’ is weak against their disgusting massive wealth. When Musk&Co wake up to the fact that sanctuary on Mars, the Moon is a fiction, and the planet that they share with us, we all breathing the same air, suffering the coming heat cannot support them (for all their money), will they be Sad too? - probably not, they’re malignant psychopaths

Apologies if this seems a bit ramble-y … my main thought is for the horror that some of my younger friends and their babies face across a very uncertain future

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Max - thanks for being here. From the bits I know of you from Webworm, you seem like a fucking kind, good, smart, feeling soul. I'm just glad you're here in the comments hangin' out. I wish more people tried like you do. No one picks up plastic anymore. You do. Today, you've encouraged me to do the same. God knows I see enough of it strewn along the paths I walk here.

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Sep 21Liked by David Farrier

Thanks David, I love the community you’ve built here, such a great bunch of people. It’s been rejuvenating to read the responses to my post, I can feel the caring and the love. It means a great deal to me and to all of us ❤️

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I pick up plastic everyday on my walks. I don’t want it to end up in the stomachs of birds and fish. Lots of locals who walk Eastern Beach do the same.

Plastic packaging is ubiquitous. I remember the ‘60s when it wasn’t.

“The Silent Spring”was written then, warning us to stop polluting the planet with chemicals that kill micro organisms in soil and consequently destroy plant and animal life cycles. Globally Species keep dying out. Yet in ‘100% pure’ New Zealand the Auckland Council still sprays verges with chemicals which should have been made illegal 60 years ago!

We were warned to protect our fragile environment more than half a century prior to today.

Bizarrely, the transitory man made money system holds more power than the urgent need to save the planet that sustains us.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I'm 69. No children and no family and indeed I'm really pleased that I made the decision not to bring children into a world where humans were already so disconnected from reality. Also a loner. Existentially totally pessimistic, but personally happy. I suggest you get those dogs on a lead and get outside. Get involved with Predator Free - it really does give you a real boost when you see the birds coming back. Join Mossy.Earth, or Planet Wild and see what actual real changes some people are making for the good. Learn about re-wilding. If we can't be heroes, let's support those who are. Come up to Russell and we'll meet up and have a pint in the sunshine. There is no meaning to life. Life IS the meaning, but there's still a lot of joy to be found in the world.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

Max - sending you a big hug! You sound like a kind person, and your actions are meaningful. I think you deserve to have Happy as well. This exercise might help: on a piece of paper, draw 5 columns for physical, mental, spiritual, social, and environmental wellness. Then write down all the activities that you do, or want to do that fulfil each column (some might go across a couple of the columns!)

Then pick 1 or 2 of the easier ones you can do, that you aren’t doing but want to do, and schedule them into your week. Rinse and repeat! 61 is still young, you have so much more time to do what makes you feel happy or fulfilled and I’m sure your sister would want that for you 🤗

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Max, I hear you. I stare sadly at the tv news re situation in Gaza and now Lebanon. I avoid buying from unethical companies & mutter to myself when picking up rubbish on the street/beach .Get outside with your dogs more often ...less technology & more fresh air is good for the soul 🙂

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I have a friend who takes a bag with her whenever she goes out; picks up the rubbish that she sees. In that simple act, she's giving to others.

It seems like a darn good habit to have - I'm off out soon, and will take a bag!!

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As a teenager in the 1980s I worked in an environmental shop, we sold underground zines that we self published to raise awareness about the climate and badges(so many fucking badges), also about no nukes. 30 years later... I'm in my mid 50s, tired, burnout, but I have a different type of rage against the machine that comes with age growing in me, meaning I quite like the idea of blowing some shit up because nothing else has dam well worked...

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I'd love to hear more about the kinds of communities that formed around that environmental shop back in the 80's. Were there elements of friendship/community/collective care/solidarity that lived on?

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It was the Nelson Environmental Centre. A food Co-op was born from there as well as many other community orgs. Also connected was the anti-vivor section society which I also worked for. Left in the early 1990s and as never been back I have no idea what it's all like now.

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How about smashing shit up? There's a recycling business in my town that encourages you taking a sledge hammer to old appliances, before they're stripped of the electronics etc.. and sent to metal recovery or ironically, landfill.

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I desperately want to see smash places set up EVERYWHERE!!!!

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I sometimes have the thought that a molotov cocktail through someone's letterbox might make me feel better 😎

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Sep 20·edited Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I'm an environmental scientist. This shit hits, so, so hard.

It can feel difficult (though not always impossible) to make people care. Even the most well meaning people can become overwhelmed and think none of it matters. I've screamed into pillows because it all feels so overwhelming and pointless.

The best things I've found to help are not to play green police. Like last week, when I overreacted to you implying a string would have strangled a bird (sorry!), that was not a good thing to do and could have pushed someone away. If I see someone throw a glass bottle in the trash I try to tell myself "not the time to speak", and maybe make a mental note for future work projects to include signage with pictures of glass bottles near recycling bins.

It also helps for people to know what large scale (though not complete) societal changes can help. Maybe they'll want to opt in, maybe not. If every women had easy access to birth control, populations would shrink. That's not to say any woman's choice to not use birth control and have "as many children as fate decides" a bad choice, and no one should be shamed but putting the idea in people heads can spread and lead to better patterns. A less controversial example would be letting people know that some farmers will rent out flocks of sheep to be used to cut grass. Some people live too far away or are too nervous too host the cute little grass cutters. They aren't wrong for not, I'd be happy if in talking about the idea someone opted. Just get conversations going and let people choose.

Additionally, don't let an idea slip by because "the wrong person" is saying it. There plenty of people who run sustainable homesteads and are also strongly religious. I can learn something from them if I can keep my mouth shut about what's smaller than a mustard seed. On the other end of the spectrum there are people who think "vaccines are too dangerous for my children" who lead very eco-friendly lifestyles. I wouldn't feel comfortable asking them to be on a panel offering opinions to the public, but I'd love to see how they've set their property up to supply them with produce for much of the year.

I know this all sucks badly. There is no magic bullet but there are plenty of good humans who want to help when presented with plans and ideas for how to best move forward.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I think a lot about how people will discard or ignores message if it’s not communicated to them in their preferred style, or without a ‘wow’ factor. So much bullshit is accepted from charismatic snake oil salespeople, but awkward experts? No way! And it’s their fault if they can’t convince us. Will we ever take responsibility for not doing our best to understand what we’re being told?

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

There are loads of people who don't follow snake oil experts. Marketing ideas is a huge part of societal change.

I want everyone to embrace environmentalism not just "the good people".

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

This is brilliant writing. I have never felt more understood (or understood these feelings better). There is so much opportunity here if we could build a shared story for us all about this.

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Thanks Mark, much appreciated and makes me feel less like I’m making the world a worse place by spreading frustration and hopelessness around!

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What makes it worse I think is that I’m 53, fairly successful in my work life and I KNOW it’s being done to me — and yet I don’t know how to respond.

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💯👍🏾

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

“Five Just Stop Oil activists receive

record sentences for planning to block

M25” is not Enid Blyton’s best book imo

(Sorry, I had to)

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Sep 20·edited Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

Well, I really hope Mr Musk and his buddies do get to Mars. We'd all be a lot better off without them.

Our lack of agency is nowhere near as terrifying, as our active participation in being brainwashed. Why did those juries convict those brave and innocent protestors, who will be spending more time in jail than the thugs attempting to set fire to refugee hostels? Because they felt outraged at being held up for an hour or so on the M25? Because they felt a man discussing a protest via a Zoom call was a threat to society?

You only have to watch how aggressive "normal" people become when someone, however gently, suggests that eating intensively-farmed animals, or driving an SUV to the shops 500 m away, or flying half way round the world on holiday, are all bad for the planet and therefore jeopardising the future of young people, to see that most of us make better cartoon villains - selfish, greedy and uncaring - than heroes. Listen to the self-justification that pours out. And yes, Big Oil, Big Ag, and Big Travel are all actively brainwashing us, but we don't have to be complicit. Silly, I know, but if we all stopped flying, air pollution would plummet. If we avoided driving where possible, if we ate a plant-based diet, if we each did lots of small things, sent the price of a cup of coffee to Extinction Rebellion, signed the bloody petitions and wrote a submission, instead of spending time on social media, we could make a difference. Above all, if we voted carefully! Anyone who voted ACT, New Zealand First or National voted against the planet. Anyone who votes Republican - anyone who votes right wing, is voting against the planet and indeed, although they are obviously too brainwashed to realise it, ultimately against their own interests, even if they do own lots of stuff or have heaps of money. Josh is correct. We have little enough agency, but most of us refuse to use what we have, and expect someone else to do it first. Whatever it is.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I think the second part of your comment answers your first question. Why did those juries convict the protesters? Because juries don't get to decide on Good or Bad. They decide whether a law or accumulation of laws has been broken. It goes back to the original premise of 'being a hero is mostly illegal'. It's the laws that need to change and that only has a shred of a chance of working if we vote the right way.

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Yeah, I tend to agree. The jury is following a set of rules laid out by the judge. The justice served is part of a pre-existing system. The jury, doing their best job as dictated by the law, gives them little choice to do the right thing.

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Judges do not like this at all, but jurors can return a not guilty verdict if they disagree with the law. E.g., protestors definitely broke the law, but the jurors believe the law itself to be unjust. It's called jury nullification; I don't know how prevalent it is outside of the US. Jurors typically do not know that they can do this, and mentioning jury nullification during selection is a surefire way to be dismissed.

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Beautifully written, Josh. There is a collective feeling of heaviness at this time.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

Ahhhhh, the Sad. I call it the “death prism” that I view everything through. I empathise with this so, so deeply, Josh & David. I even wrote a series of blogs for Medium a couple of years ago, about being “a world expert at failing to save the world.” It helped me deal with the burnout and c-PTSD of going all out on non-violent direct action with Extinction Rebellion, and getting shafted by some of my fellow eco warriors.

Even the most dedicated among us are just human, and the risks and stress of skirting on the edge of legality are so great. I had the cops show up at my house regularly, as the spokesperson. I don’t wanna know what reams of data they collected on me, or if there’s a folder labeled “eco terrorist” somewhere. It was scary as hell, but I really believed direct action was the last shot at saving all I loved. The most dedicated of us, an angel of a human being called Marcus, ended up getting thrown in jail in the UK for over two years for unfurling a Stop Oil banner on a bridge. He’s now facing deportation away from his young family. I’m glad that all I got as consequence for trying to be the hero (Buffy always was my idol) was burnout & trauma. I decided I couldn’t be a failed world saviour anymore, because my world saviour complex would kill me - I’m sure Paul will have some choice insights about that specific affliction.

Like Kit, I’m also an environmental scientist. I did my PhD on human impacts on coral reefs 20 years ago, and am beyond glad to have moved from studying the symptoms to working on the cause (human overconsumption, especially in energy). If I was still a coral reef ecologist now, I don’t think I’d still be alive. I watch my old professors in Australia cry and scream into the void, as another coal mine gets consented despite their greatest natural wonder, the GBR, being on the verge of dying completely. I never wake up and not think about the vast finiteness of EXTINCTION. I always think in ecosystems, and still work on researching and solving social & environmental injustice, which gives me some strength and stops the Sad from becoming suicidal depression - the Dead.

The best thing I did - fully acknowledging the insane privilege to be able to do so, thanks to a single mother who scrimped and saved every cent so I could leave her to go to the other end of the world and became a scientist (failing to save the world), and the sheer luck of being born early enough to get a mortgage with a 5% down payment - was to sell my dream shack on the beach in my favourite city, Wellington, and buy a lot of fertile land at the end of the world. And now I grow, and plant, and nurture, and practice regenerative and carbon farming, and look at the beneficial soil microbes and insects we’re attracting, and learn to become more self-sufficient, and build a safe-ish haven for other failed eco and justice warriors when they can’t go on anymore. It’s not a solution, but it’s the closest to Happy I get to neutralise the Sad. As long as I keep myself away from the news (which I never do for long enough). Big hugs to all the other failed world saviours and those who always feel the Sad. You’re not alone.

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Hey doc, feeling all this. It’s a lot eh? I’m taking heart from you and others in this thread who find this sort of agonised venting helpful - it’s not my aim to make people feel helpless, quite the opposite, but sometimes I feel it’s necessary to say that shit’s a bit fucked, and to try to understand why

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Sep 21Liked by David Farrier

💯 I find it really helpful to try to put words and thoughts around that massive emotion of the Sad. That’s why I wrote those articles, even though they were deeply personal. They helped me put some structure around the feeling, which somehow made it more manageable. For all the bad things some humans do with this gift, the ability to express emotions in words that can inspire, uplift or at least console others who strain from the weight of them, is one of our great achievements. Even if it’s just to share, and do a sanity check, and maybe look at the issue in a slightly different angle. So thank you for sharing and making us think and share. Xxx

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

Shit. I try not to let my thoughts go to this dark place but being an anxious ridden individual, this stuff does keep me up at night. I feel an immense amount of guilt having children. Don’t get me wrong, I love them with every fiber of my being and am so grateful to have these amazing humans in my life, but I also feel selfish that my desire to become a mom means that they are going to be burdened with a harsh future. The selfishness and greed of our species really came to full realization during the pandemic. When people cared more about going to bars and large gatherings over isolating and wearing masks. When science denialism really came to a head because it impeded individuals’ “freedom” instead of giving a fuck that people were dying. We were collectively in a real time crisis but couldn’t all come together for the greater good. Scientists have been warning us for years about climate change. I notice it increasingly season after season as our warm spells last and Midwest winters tame. I yearn for the winters of my childhood. I try and do my part to eliminate plastic waste. I recycle, use metal straws, bring tote bags to department stores, etc. Like Josh had mentioned, we do need more of us to take steps to make an impact but It’s hard not to feel so small. I feel like our personal efforts are in vain, when the most powerful in the world care more about their egos and lining their pockets versus building a sustainable, healthy, and hopeful future.

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Sadly, this is one of the Big Myths people have been sold. Recycling is good, yes, but it's well down on the list of things that will save the planet. The three biggest actions an individual can take, apart from being politically active, are: avoid carbon intensive travel, eat sustainably, buy less new stuff, especially plastic. To put it very simply: the less money you spend (as distinct from giving away to an environmental charity), the less damage you do.

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While in your view recycling is "well down on the list of things that will save the planet" IT MATTERS! Josh eloquently talked about individual actions combining to cause the "super hero" effect, and this is an example. One of the up-sides of recycling, is the education you incidentally get about which things are LEAST harmful if you can't seem to do without altogether - in my case this added awareness has led to a change to trying to avoid even buying things that NEED recycling (mainly because the time added to my life in having to ensure they are cleaned & uncontaminated is annoying!) and have come to realise that my recycling bin only needs to be emptied after several weeks, rather than 2 weekly. What a difference this would make if enough people did the same so that a) less rubbish collection needed & various forms of recycling/disposal and b) the manufacturers who MAKE this stuff won't survive if no-one (meaning supermarkets, retailers, as well as individuals) avoid their products. Your other suggestions are fine, but recycling gives individuals agency & builds a wider awareness in many cases.

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If we all boycotted Temu with all their shitty products we'd be doing the world a favour. Their ads that pop up EVERYWHERE so annoy me grrrr.

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I will never purchase from Temu or SHEIN for that matter.

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Yes, Shein is another no-no!

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thats a good list. thank you.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I just had an a-ha moment, thanks to Josh. For the last 10-15 years we've been guzzling the monomyth pretty steadily, and the villains were all super obvious. These kinds of stories are to teach that hard work pays off eventually - even if it's just the moral work of doing the right thing. And usually this has been enough to get kids on the right path (the hard-righters would be horrified to realize it was really Marvel et al. indoctrinating their children all along), but as of late, our real life villains are now mimicking our fantasy villains. How else can we explain the rise of fascism amongst the generation that was raised on villains like Delores Umbrage and The Red Skull? It's like they watched the same movies as I did and took all the wrong notes.

Perhaps adjusting Josh's theory is that these real-life villains found out about the lack of agency before the rest of us and saw that there was another path to gain agency. Of course, they ignored that they were always stopped eventually, as well as the gross number of victims required for a semblance of agency. And let's not forget how much mind-yoga it takes for a fascist police officer to think they're a real life Punisher, when in fact they're precisely the type of person the Punisher would immediately kill and never think about again.

I totally get Josh's premise, and I agree. I just don't know how to fix it without changing the monomyth. Or demolishing social media. Honestly it'd probably easier to change the monomyth at this point. But I would gladly burn social media to the ground if it meant less Delores Umbrages (useless insecure little fascists who are really the perfect tools of an opportunistic oppressor) in the world.

Well, fuck. Now I'm Sad, too.

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I'd prefer to have no social media if it meant less idiots spreading idiocy too. It needs to be regulated... or gone. It can't continue in its current form.

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I left SM except here...............and it has made a difference. But I find this here on SubStack is Social Media too...........and like I found others like FB to be like shouting into the abyss..............here can be a tad like that too. The big question is how to get what the message to thems that need it........and how can we open the door, and how can we keep our doors open too. I have a feeling the answer is going to be more analogue than these digital spaces. This space is great for tribe, and tribal meets..........but as an example.....50% of America want to vote for a moron...............that is what bothers me........and what and how will they maybe see a slither of what we see and say...........nah...............Social Media is here to stay, as are the 50% who will vote against sanity and positivity.....a total conundrum. Maybe dynamite has merit.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

The problem Joshua is describing is as a result of neoliberalism with its mantra of 'self-actualisation' etc. Many of those born in the last four decades grew up when all the individualism and competitiveness and trickle down stuff was dominant. But some of us remember when there was a (more or less) functioning welfare state in many countries from the late 1940s to the 1980s, and when 'we' was more important than 'me'. As Michael Moore (US documentary maker and blogger) often says there are more of us than them and 'we' need to take back our power. George Monbiot spoke to the Australian Institute this week about the importance of participatory democracy and local community power. It is hard and depressing, but together 'we' can do something.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

All of this. 💔

I don't think we've come to terms yet with how powerful the stories of neoliberalism are in shaping our "assumptive worldview" (things we are led to believe are true "because they just are"). The twin of self-actualisation is "third order suffering" - of the internalisation of responsibility for fixing all the shit that happens to us all by ourselves.

Not only are we told we need to live for our own advancement, but we are also told we should expect no help if shit goes wrong.

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Community power. Powerful!

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I feel this in my bones. Not knowing where to begin, the weight of my impotence, feeling like I’m surrounded by people in my real life who are too busy or disengaged to care, and the knowledge that talking about the fuckedness of it all makes me a bit intense, a bit too much, bit of a downer, pessimistic and cynical. So many things say find community, make community, take action, get involved, but the how and the where is much more difficult to find. Feels like screaming into the void. As depressing as it is, I appreciate reading this and knowing there are others who feel it, too.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

I feel this sadness and powerlessness, and yes I try to do what I can in those small ways. Sign petitions, email MPs, avoid giving the worst companies my dollar. Personally I feel my most tangible action is being vegan. A win/win in it being good for the environment and animals.

Collective action can work. We need to keep getting more and more people taking these small actions. It will add up. And in the moments where it feels hopeless we can keep finding joy. The webworm chat has fast become a lovely spot for sharing joyful things.

This piece also put a book in my mind so I'll recommend The Last Murder at the End of the World by Stuart Turton. Dystopian, mystery, a little sci fi. I loved it.

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I feel you on this Lara. For me, becoming vegan has served as a powerful reminder that there are some horrific systems we can actually opt out of in this world, and it feels good to do so 🌿

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🙋🏽‍♀️💯Apart from becoming a vegan (I've dabbled in the past so now that it's easier? Perhaps!) agree re the small actions, but particularly agree about the Webworm Chat 😁👍🏾🫂 I try to make myself read the long-form posts first because of the amount of thought & work put in, but if I'm short of time? Straight to Chat 😁

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I just put your book recommendation on my to read list.

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Sep 20Liked by David Farrier

It's all about the power of the story, as Yuval Noah Harari would remind us. Who is telling that story and what are they trying to achieve?

That's why Musk was prepared to throw away so many squillions on Twitter - he gets to define what "absolute free speech" means (spoiler alert - absolute free speech does not include you telling him what a dick he is). That's why the reaction to the implosion of many of our media outlets from politicians is "meh." They can then do whatever they like and simply rearrange the facts to suit their narrative. Ask a Trump cultist who won the last election. That's how conspiracy theorists jump in, by inventing their own completely fantastic tale of a nefarious network of villains who have complete control over all future possibilities. It is a "truth" only they can see.

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You mean “cisgender” dick, eh? 😜

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