Official Flightless Bird T-Shirts!

Designed by New Zealand bird enthusiast & artist Charlie Thomas

Hi,

It’s a big election in three days. Like me, you’re probably sick of hearing about it, but like it or not — what America does tends to trickle down everywhere else. America farts and we’re all under the sheet being hotboxed against our will.

I’ll do a fresh Webworm on election day purely so we can discuss things and stay sane together. See you there.

The whole process has been infuriating, including how lackluster the left’s felt on so many things. I’m excited Kamala Harris defends women’s rights. I’m dismayed that her party actively keeps arming and supporting Benjamin Netanyahu to kill more innocent Palestinians. Hayden’s Webworm piece about every single politician morphing into “mealy-mouthed shitweasels in the name of making them popular” hasn’t left my brain.

At the same time, I was struck by something my friend Dave Chen posted about voting in America. He started by saying, “People often feel the person they vote for needs to reflect all of their beliefs 100%”. Then he went on:

We live in a two party system that is “winner takes all”. That means there is one of two outcomes in this election, and whatever you do, you are helping one of those outcomes to happen. And that is a terrible, awful reality.

I wish we had a robust pluralistic system — but that’s not the reality we live in. The reality is that you should vote for who you want to negotiate with. Vote for the person that is more likely to create the vision of society that you want.

Dave then referenced a post by Mikal Lewis:

See, Life is the Kobayashi Maru [Ed’s note: this is a Star Trek thing, essentially meaning a no-win scenario] —no one gets out of it alive.
A vote for Lincoln freed the slaves, though he wasn’t for it.
A vote for Roosevelt ended genocide, though he wasn’t for intervention.
A vote for Obama brought gay marriage, though he wasn’t for it. The future is always on the ballot.

Someone else also weighed in:

Voting is like public transportation, not an Uber. You hop on with the candidate that’s going to take you closest to your desired destination, not straight to your doorstep.

With that all said, I fucking hope Kamala Harris wins.

I want Donald Trump to lose, and by a lot so we don’t have to spend months — sorry, years — relitigating the results.

I want Donald Trump to go away. He is a horrific narcissist who only thinks of himself. He is a sex pest. He is a cancer. He is a fascist. His supporters like Tucker Carlson openly talk about how they’ve been physically mauled by demons.

I want things to be slightly more sane for the next four years.

Kamala Harris and her party do not reflect all of my values — but she is the person I would prefer to negotiate with. She gets us closer to our desired destination than the other guy. Kobayashi Maru.

Okay — one of the things I do is make a podcast about my observations of American culture called Flightless Bird. If you like it, or you like birds, you might like the next bit.

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Flightless Bird T-Shirts!

Note: Due to high demand (yay!), you may not get an email confirmation of your order till tomorrow (Monday Nov 4 PT). But the order has been logged and will be sent!

I am very glad to announce the release of the first official Flightless Bird merch!

Back in September I reached out to friend of the show Charlie Thomas — a New Zealand bird enthusiast and artist — asking if they could design two tees that reflect the podcast.

After a few months of working through ideas, we’ve landed on these designs: “Kiwi Thrown Into The Deep End” and “Classic Flightless Birds”.

“Kiwi Thrown Into The Deep End” and “Classic Flightless Birds”

Both designs are available now in a variety of sizes — and currently come in white, gray and light blue.

They are $25 US each + shipping, and ship worldwide.

They’re printed on Gildan Soft Style tees.

My Flightless Bird co-host Rob Holysz and myself wearing one of the designs - in white and gray.

In case you stumbled here by accident, Flightless Bird is a weekly podcast created by me and co-host Rob Holysz.

It involves me, a New Zealander, attempting to understand various parts of American culture. It might see me in the Everglades with a gladesman — or at a Creed concert trying to understand the band’s comeback… as well as Christian Nationalism.

Some episodes are light and breezy, like the time I looked at the origins of slime in America — or why the country is obsessed with leaf blowers and shower curtains. Others take twists and turns like when I visited a porn set, and some just get really, really intense — because America is intense.

It’s out every Tuesday and you can listen wherever you get your podcasts.

In the Artist’s Words:

“Kiwi Thrown Into The Deep End” | Purchase Now

“The design for the second shirt actually came from a drawing I did a couple of years ago when I first started listening to Flightless Bird. A kiwi wearing a trucker cap emblazoned with the Stars and Stripes, a very sweet and almost naïve grin on its face. This, for me, felt like the first steps of a bird thrown into the deep end of life in the US” | Purchase “Kiwi Thrown Into The Deep End”

“Classic Flightless Birds” | Purchase Now

“I wanted something that felt cute and almost a little bit whimsical. With the opportunity to highlight some really cool New Zealand birds, I chose the kororā/little penguin, takahē, and kiwi. All classic flightless birds.

Kiwi are iconic and recognisable around the world as our national symbol. Takahē are lesser known, even in Aotearoa, and thought to have been extinct for 50 years before being rediscovered by a team of dedicated scientists in 1948. They deserve a shoutout for being fantastically round and for making the greatest comeback of all time.

Kororā are the smallest penguins in the world, but they make up for this with heaps of attitude.

All of these birds face a long list of threats to their survival, but they are also examples of resilience and the goodness that comes from caring enough about something to make a difference!” | Purchase “Classic Flightless Birds”

About the Artist: Charlie Thomas

Charlie is an artist, conservationist, and absolute bird fanatic. Whether he’s drawing them, teaching kids about them, or living on remote islands covered in them, his life revolves around exploring all the different ways we can be making the world a better place for birds everywhere. His day to day includes connecting the local community with nature, collecting second hand books, and walking his dog at the beach.

Charlies website: www.charliesbirds.com | Charlie’s Instagram

Rob, Charlie and I really hope you enjoy the tees.

Before you ship your Flightless Bird tee, you might also enjoy the rest of the Webworm store — featuring tees, caps and stickers designed by New Zealander Jess Johnson. It’s all pretty weird and zany, reflecting the ethos of Webworm.

Any money raised goes back into Webworm — a reader supported publication.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk,

David.

Me in the I HAVE WORMS cap, designed by NZ artist Jess Johnson.