When I worked at an Amazon warehouse in 2017, I never thought that I was collectively helping Bezos launch himself into space. All those hours of stowing dildos into cubbies were worth it, all for him and his penis rocket. Even though my 30-minute timed lunch breaks during a 10-hour workday were kinda short, I'm glad that I could sacrifice my hunger for the greater good of humanity. I kind of wish I still worked there, so that I could have full bragging rights.
I'm so glad you put this into a new perspective, otherwise, I would've never recognized my contribution to the space race.
I'll never forget the write-ups I would get for not meeting my quota during peak season. Thanks Bezos, you really know how to push and motivate your $11/hr workers!
Oh wow - was it the size of the type of situation we saw in Nomadland? I am infinitely curious about the factory floor in that place. On a serious note: how did it feel watching and reading all the talk around the rocket launch? Did it make you feel anything, given you had experience as an employee? Or was that like a distant memory?
It's as massive as you'd imagine. Their favorite fun fact to tell newcomers is that it can hold 20 football fields or something like that. Also, I'll never understand why football fields are the preferred unit of measurement for Americans when describing how big something is. It's like wow, this is all so that someone can get their diapers delivered overnight? Or whatever.
I remember we'd have those timed breaks, and they'd count the time it'd take for you to get from your station to the break room––which usually took about 5-10 minutes depending on where you were in the building. And that doesn't even include waiting in line for buying food! I would bring my lunch so that I could scarf it down and RUN back. It was one of the most miserable places I've ever worked, I don't see how anyone can do it for longer than a couple of weeks.
Oh yeah, I totally remembered my time at Amazon when I watched the launch. LOL! Your post was such an amazing commentary on it all, I'm glad that you saw it as cynically as I did. My coworkers were so psyched by it in our Slack channel that day, and I was just like REALLY?! Should we really be cheering on these mega-rich men and their hyper-privileged accomplishments? That literally none of us can achieve because we aren't billionaires? Lmfao.
I don’t see how there can be any tangible future plans up there just yet. Maybe he could go live in space for a while, give us all a bit of peace and quiet.
I was shocked when I learned he was up there for 10 mins though. You go all the way to space and you piss about for 10 mins, not worth it imo.
I feel I have to confess to failing in my contributions to this noble cause - sorry team. Like a sociopath I use my local library and shop at the supermarket, or at worst, buy stuff from other people in my country.
Bezos launching himself and his cock rocket into space is exactly why I have a prime membership. I’m sure that all the Amazon employees who have had to pee in bottles, or who have miscarried because they couldn’t get maternity care feel the same way. They all feel that it’s worth it, the suffering for such a great cause. I feel honored just to live on the same planet as him and to breathe the same air that he’s polluted by sending New Shepherd into space.
****
Such a great post to read first thing in the morning. I needed this.
On a serious note, I didn’t get an email notification that you posted something new. Is there something wrong with the Webworm settings. I would hate to think that fellow webworms are missing out on such a great post.
When I worked at an Amazon warehouse in 2017, I never thought that I was collectively helping Bezos launch himself into space. All those hours of stowing dildos into cubbies were worth it, all for him and his penis rocket. Even though my 30-minute timed lunch breaks during a 10-hour workday were kinda short, I'm glad that I could sacrifice my hunger for the greater good of humanity. I kind of wish I still worked there, so that I could have full bragging rights.
I'm so glad you put this into a new perspective, otherwise, I would've never recognized my contribution to the space race.
I'll never forget the write-ups I would get for not meeting my quota during peak season. Thanks Bezos, you really know how to push and motivate your $11/hr workers!
Oh wow - was it the size of the type of situation we saw in Nomadland? I am infinitely curious about the factory floor in that place. On a serious note: how did it feel watching and reading all the talk around the rocket launch? Did it make you feel anything, given you had experience as an employee? Or was that like a distant memory?
It's as massive as you'd imagine. Their favorite fun fact to tell newcomers is that it can hold 20 football fields or something like that. Also, I'll never understand why football fields are the preferred unit of measurement for Americans when describing how big something is. It's like wow, this is all so that someone can get their diapers delivered overnight? Or whatever.
I remember we'd have those timed breaks, and they'd count the time it'd take for you to get from your station to the break room––which usually took about 5-10 minutes depending on where you were in the building. And that doesn't even include waiting in line for buying food! I would bring my lunch so that I could scarf it down and RUN back. It was one of the most miserable places I've ever worked, I don't see how anyone can do it for longer than a couple of weeks.
Oh yeah, I totally remembered my time at Amazon when I watched the launch. LOL! Your post was such an amazing commentary on it all, I'm glad that you saw it as cynically as I did. My coworkers were so psyched by it in our Slack channel that day, and I was just like REALLY?! Should we really be cheering on these mega-rich men and their hyper-privileged accomplishments? That literally none of us can achieve because we aren't billionaires? Lmfao.
Whitey on the Moon by Gil Scott-Heron seems rather applicable in this situation
Oh my god. We fucking did it! We all did.
We should all feel proud of our collective achievement.
We sent that cock shaped rocket into space. Truly blessed 🙌🏼
And now we have to hear him rabbit on about space endlessly (and his future plans, no doubt)
I don’t see how there can be any tangible future plans up there just yet. Maybe he could go live in space for a while, give us all a bit of peace and quiet.
I was shocked when I learned he was up there for 10 mins though. You go all the way to space and you piss about for 10 mins, not worth it imo.
Yep - passing that 100km mark, throwing a ball around in no gravity for four minutes - then arcing back down and heading towards earth. Ugh.
This is the best take on this racket I've seen. I'm a little misty myself.
Let’s cry together
I feel I have to confess to failing in my contributions to this noble cause - sorry team. Like a sociopath I use my local library and shop at the supermarket, or at worst, buy stuff from other people in my country.
Amazon - taking dickishness to new heights™
Ha!
Yep, shameless virtue signalling - what of it?
Bezos launching himself and his cock rocket into space is exactly why I have a prime membership. I’m sure that all the Amazon employees who have had to pee in bottles, or who have miscarried because they couldn’t get maternity care feel the same way. They all feel that it’s worth it, the suffering for such a great cause. I feel honored just to live on the same planet as him and to breathe the same air that he’s polluted by sending New Shepherd into space.
****
Such a great post to read first thing in the morning. I needed this.
On a serious note, I didn’t get an email notification that you posted something new. Is there something wrong with the Webworm settings. I would hate to think that fellow webworms are missing out on such a great post.
I’m just gonna leave this here for everyone’s pleasure:
Why Does Jeff Bezos’ Rocket Look So Much Like a Penis? We Asked a Rocket Scientist.
https://slate.com/technology/2021/07/bezos-blue-origin-resembles-penis-rocket-scientist-explains-why.html
A great angle - but also: could he ever launch in anything what *wasn't* a giant dick?
Agreed.
Dudes and their obsessions with wangs. The symbolism of male genitalia is everywhere.
There better be a space station shaped like a uterus and Fallopian tubes. Actually, if it’s something that’s built by Bezos, I’d rather there not be.
Yeah, same here (didn't get notification). What's the go, David? I look forward to your emails, don't deny us our pleasures! ;-)