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Never Engage with Toddlers Online
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Never Engage with Toddlers Online

Social media is a hotbed of arguing, shouting and posturing. Here are my rules of (dis)engagement.

David Farrier
Jan 16, 2022
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Never Engage with Toddlers Online
www.webworm.co

Hi,

Last week Radio New Zealand tweeted a link to an interview I’d done last year with Kim Hill, where we talked about conspiracy theory culture in New Zealand.

"Best of 2021 | David Farrier has spent the last few years diving down conspiracy theory rabbit holes - from QAnon to anti-vax chaos - and writing about them for his online newsletter Webworm. He joins us to discuss conspiracy culture in NZ."

Always curious about who responds to these kinds of tweets, I clicked on the replies — and quickly saw a pattern: People hated it.

Laughing emojos. Then someone saying “That was boring AF”. Then someone saying “What are his reckons on the nanny?”. Then “Why is everything a conspiracy?” then “I’m surprised you aligned yourself with Farrier!”

This happens on Twitter all the time — a post that is critical about conspiracy theories (in this case, focussed on the pandemic) suddenly sees a huge response of laughing emojis, disdain, and — unsurprisingly — falsehoods (I don’t do hate speech).

Actually, this happens on Twitter in response to any issue that’s even mildly polarising. Marvel and DC fans endlessly fighting about superheroes comes to mind.

The temptation when you see tweets like this is to engage. To reply. Something funny, witty, angry — maybe even a fact to correct them. To show them up in some way.

My advice? Never do this. Never reply to these kinds of tweets. Ever.

Instead of replying — and if you want to provide your brain with a little entertainment — click onto their profile and guess what you’re going to get. It’s probably the world’s easiest guessing game.

Let’s try it with the people above.


@mrs_wiggley: Tweeted a series of laughing emojis

Profile: Ten words in, and we hit “freedom”. Sign up date of November 2021 — this is a very new account.

Latest tweet: In this case it’s a retweet from “Sir Peter Morris”, who talks a familiar conspiracy theory about vaccines being a method of control. Of course there are mentions of “sheep” and “fear”. Clicking through on his profile reveals someone who is vehemently anti-vax and a regular spreader of disinformation regarding vaccine injuries.

"The Australian Gov cancelling Novak Djokovic's visa is 'nothing' to do with him.  It's all about messaging the Australian people. Be good sheep and run along and get your jab, because look what we can do. Maintaining the fear factor, or else."

Verdict: Lost down the rabbit hole.

@Lynne82789819: Tweeted “well that was boring af”

Profile: No description, but a relatively new account (July 2021) — and the classic name + random number Twitter handle that is always shorthand for “stay the fuck away from this account”.

No profile at all!

Latest tweet: A series of retweets of anti-vax accounts, followed by this original Tweet quoting an anti-Labour message:

A friend of mine took this photo at Ardmore a few weeks ago. It’s not that clear but says:- Team of 5 million ruled by 20 clowns

Verdict: Lost down the rabbit hole.

@mrsrosieb: Tweeted something about a nanny

Profile: Pretty vanilla, to be honest. Although I do note that I had her muted, which definitely hints at annoying behaviour in the past.

Latest tweet: A pinned anti-Jacinda Ardern tweet, followed by another tweet comparing her partner Clarke Gayford to alleged sex pest Prince Andrew. Stay classy, RosieB:

"Dad, what’s Jacindamania? Well son it’s like Beatlemania except they had talent and made the world a better place.  #VoteHerOut"

Verdict: Lost down the rabbit hole.

@KhanKaga: Tweeted “why does everything have to be a conspiracy?!”

Profile: Nothing much to see, but the New Zealand flag is — tbh — a red flag. You know how American flags in people’s yards signal “I am probably a Trump supporter?” Unfortunately the New Zealand flag often represents similar territory.

Not much but the NZ Flag as a profile picture

Last tweet: A link to blatantly false information on some dude’s Wordpress site. This is followed by about 200 other tweets full of health disinformation:

"Iceland: Covid vaccines possibly causing serious adverse effects 500-1,000 times higher per million than previous flu vaccines."

Verdict: Lost down the rabbit hole.

@TheSavageJaw_: Tweeted “I’m surprised you’ve aligned yourselves with Farrier”

Profile: A series of hashtags really show you all you need to know: #NoVaccinePassportsAnywhere & #InformedConsent. Also a relatively new account, signing up in August last year. Their profile references “alpha” and “beta” which is also a sign to stay well away. Or risk being called a “cuck”.

"Something’s not right… #NoVaccinePassportsAnywhere / #InformedConsent / Politically homeless."

Latest tweet: A retweet of this totally normal post about mandates, police surveillance and criminalisation — all paired with an image of a stern looking bald man leering over a planet that appears to be on fire:

"As the official pandemic narrative falls apart and truth gets out despite aggressive & coordinated censorship efforts, what's the next move? How to justify permanent lockdowns & mandates, police state surveillance and criminalization of dissent?"

Verdict: Lost down the rabbit hole.

Okay, so:

As you see the patterns emerging — at least this is the case for me — I find it far less appealing to reply.

So unappealing in fact, the urge to reply vanishes from my psyche.

Because you realise you were about to waste your time talking to people who spend approximately 98% of their time on Twitter pushing bonkers ideas. No-one has convinced them to change their mind so far, and you certainly aren’t going to.

I think we need to remember the entire reason these people (or bots, as many will be) exist on Twitter is for this one thing. Largely, conspiracy theorists only tweet about conspiracy theories. That’s all. Anti-vaxxers just tweet anti-vax messaging. It’s the same with the anti-trans crowd: They only exist on Twitter to tweet negatively about trans issues. It’s all or nothing. They never take a break to post a photo of a muffin, or a nice sunset they saw.

I forget this sometimes, and assume they’re like me. I’m as left as they come, but I’m not just posting my leftist agenda 24/7. I tweet about a cat I saw on a walk, or a tech article I liked. A movie I saw, or an album I’m obsessed about. I like to think my world is bigger than one thing — and so assume that’s the case with everyone else.

It’s not. So leave them in their bubble, and move on with your day.

Engaging with them is as psychotic as marching into a room full of toddlers and screaming at them that they’re all idiots for having imaginary friends. It’s pointless, it makes a scene, and the toddlers are not going to listen to you. They’ll become distressed and the whole class will have a meltdown.

It also pays to keep in mind that the second you engage with one of these tweets, suddenly all your followers can see it. Something nobody would notice except the maniac tweeter now becomes the business of the people who follow you.

If certain replies are getting to you — remember you can mute threads and people. Muting is almost better than blocking, as many people you block see this as some kind of victory. “We got to him!”, they’ll think. Don’t give them the satisfaction — just mute them. It’s one of the small joys of Twitter.

And if you have someone terrible following you? Like some nazi piece of trash that makes you feel physically ill knowing they’re reading your stuff? Just hit block, then unblock: it physically boots them off as a follower, and they’ll never know any different. This is the main positive uses of the block button:

I hope this helps you Twitter experience. And your social media experience in general, perhaps.

Don’t engage with the toddlers.

David.

PS: This is a shareable Webworm — it’s webworm.co/p/toddlers. Webworm doesn’t advertise, so I rely on readers to spread it! So throw it on your social media or txt it to a friend. The more eyeballs the merrier.

Also, Webworm survives thanks to paying members. If it doesn’t cause you financial hardship of any kind, consider signing up to keep this thing ticking along:

PPS: Speaking of toddlers…

Twitter avatar for @FullContactMTWF
Borrachinha Depot @FullContactMTWF
We probably won't see Josh Zepps on Rogan's podcast for a while 😂
2:46 PM ∙ Jan 13, 2022
104,665Likes14,193Retweets

PPSS: The final of Yellowjackets is out. I’m fairly confident this is one of the most enthralling and fun shows I’ve seen — a Lord of the Flies showdown infused with some giant LOST mystery DNA.

Because it’s true all New Zealanders know each other, I was talking Melanie Lynskey who plays adult Shauna in the series. She’s still tripping on the massive following the show’s picked up along the way:

“The reception has been absolutely insane and very gratifying! I felt like the show was really good, but you never know how people will receive it. It’s been fun reading all the fan theories, even the totally disgusting ones. I feel really lucky to be part of something that I think is good and to have other people think the same!”

If you want something good to watch, a good little trick is just looking for Melanie Lynskey performances: Castle Rock (Stephen King fans rejoice) and I Don't Feel at Home in This World Anymore spring to mind. And Yellowjackets, of course.

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108 Comments
Beck
Jan 16, 2022Liked by David Farrier

This is so great :)

I have this piece of advice I often give to people that work with me or in my personal life when they are dealing with someone less than pleasant (excuse language): remember that you only need to deal with them being an arsehole for the period of your required interaction, but they have to be a cunt forever and thats actually really sad.

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Amanda
Jan 16, 2022Liked by David Farrier

What the hell is Twitter about? I don't get it. How can people posting not be actual people? All this retweeting, blocking and unblocking. What is it's point. Am I really dumber than I think because I just don't get it. If conspiracy theorists can work it out why can't I?

I think this is why I enjoy the comments section on your newsletters so much. It's just so straight forward. #its probablybecauseimoldbutimnotactuallythatild😉

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